Some people think international car-free days are an effective way of reducing air pollution; however, others think there are other ways. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Sample Response
While international car-free days are thought to effectively reduce levels of air pollution, some people believe that there are other alternatives that are more effective. This essay will discuss both of these views.
It is true that exhaust fumes from cars are a major cause of air pollution as they contain a relatively high proportion of pollutants such as CO2. By having some days without cars on the road, no harmful smoke will be released into the atmosphere, and this will therefore improve the air quality. This policy is extremely effective in big cities around the world, such as Beijing, which is well known for its dirty air smog filled atmosphere. Since this car-free day policy has been introduced, the air quality of the city has greatly improved.
On the other hand, local governments should try to further encourage the use of public transport, such as subways and buses, as they effectively produce a smaller quantity of pollutants, which in turn is less likely to impact the air quality. In addition to this, the disposal of waste, especially plastic waste which emits toxic fumes if burned, should be closely regulated and monitored. The final and most effective way of reducing air pollution is to use sustainable and environmentally-friendly energy sources, such as solar or wind power, to replace fossil fuels in the long term.
In my view, these measures are all effective in addressing the problem of air pollution, but only to a certain extent. Such a problem needs to be dealt with by a number of different approaches and I believe that only implementing one approach will be ineffective.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove redundancy Original: other alternatives Suggested revision: alternatives Why it matters: Alternatives already means other possible choices, so other is redundant.
- 2. Clarify the construction Original: By having some days without cars on the road Suggested revision: By keeping cars off the road on designated days Why it matters: This revision gives the introductory phrase a clear action and avoids the loose use of having.
- 3. Use precise terminology Original: harmful smoke Suggested revision: harmful exhaust emissions Why it matters: Exhaust emissions is a more precise term for pollution produced by cars.
- 4. Remove unnecessary article Original: improve the air quality Suggested revision: improve air quality Why it matters: Air quality is used generally here and does not need the definite article.
- 5. Simplify the modifier Original: this car-free day policy Suggested revision: this car-free policy Why it matters: The shorter modifier clearly identifies the policy without an awkward noun stack.
- 6. Improve word order Original: try to further encourage Suggested revision: further encourage Why it matters: Removing try to makes the recommendation direct and avoids an awkward split infinitive sequence.
- 7. Use concise collocation Original: as they effectively produce a smaller quantity of pollutants Suggested revision: as they emit fewer pollutants Why it matters: Emit fewer pollutants is the natural and concise expression for vehicle pollution.
- 8. Clarify the reference Original: which in turn is less likely to impact the air quality Suggested revision: thereby reducing their impact on air quality Why it matters: This wording removes the unclear singular reference and links the result directly to public transport.
- 9. Remove unnecessary hyphen Original: environmentally-friendly Suggested revision: environmentally friendly Why it matters: An adverb ending in -ly does not take a hyphen when it modifies an adjective.
- 10. Remove wordiness Original: a number of different approaches Suggested revision: a range of approaches Why it matters: A range of approaches expresses the same meaning more concisely.
- 11. Place modifier clearly Original: only implementing one approach Suggested revision: implementing only one approach Why it matters: Placing only before one makes clear that the limitation concerns the number of approaches.
- 12. Use precise quantity wording Original: a relatively high proportion of pollutants Suggested revision: high concentrations of pollutants Why it matters: Concentrations is a more precise term for the amount of pollutants in exhaust fumes.
Suggested Rewrites
- other alternatives alternatives
- By having some days without cars on the road By keeping cars off the road on designated days
- harmful smoke harmful exhaust emissions
- improve the air quality improve air quality
- this car-free day policy this car-free policy
- try to further encourage further encourage
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response is clearly organised and offers a useful range of alternatives, with generally fluent and accurate language. Its main limitation is that the writer's opinion is delayed until the conclusion and the claimed impact of car-free days, especially the Beijing example, is insufficiently examined. The highest-priority improvement is to state the comparative position in the introduction and evaluate the measures more critically.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are discussed and a relevant opinion is eventually given, but the position and supporting evaluation are not fully developed throughout.
State the opinion in the introduction and compare the effectiveness and limitations of car-free days with the alternatives more explicitly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas follow a clear four-paragraph progression, with effective sequencing and generally well-managed cohesion.
Strengthen the link between the alternative measures and the final opinion so the comparison culminates more decisively.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a broad environmental vocabulary, though several combinations are awkward or imprecise.
Replace phrases such as "dirty air smog filled atmosphere" with concise, idiomatic wording and avoid repetitive references to air quality.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are frequent and generally controlled, with occasional agreement, modifier, and punctuation weaknesses.
Check reference and agreement carefully in long sentences, particularly where plural subjects are followed by singular relative clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think international car-free days are an effective way of reducing air pollution; however, others think there are other ways. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.