Some people think the main benefit of international cooperation is in the protection of the environment, while others think that the main benefits are in the world business. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
The trend of international cooperation has opened up a host of opportunities for developments. While some argue that these advantages are mostly in environmental protection, others claim that businesses will benefit most. From my perspective, both sides are correct, as international cooperation can simultaneously do good to the two mentioned sectors.
On the one hand, joint efforts from all nations can have positive effects on the environment. First, as many environmental crimes are operated cross-border, governments must collaborate to detect and deplete these activities. By way of illustration, illegal logging in Southeast Asia spans across the lands of Brunei, Laos, Indonesia, et cetera. Each country accounts for a part in the illegal wood supply chain. Therefore, Southeast Asian nations should cooperate to destroy the illegal timber production line, as a country’s lone effort would only result in the contemporary eradication of a mere portion of the chain. Secondly, international cooperation allows countries to learn from each other and create optimal solutions to similar problems. Nations with matching backgrounds can use each other’s campaigns as case studies and apply accordingly to their respective countries, resulting in better effectiveness.
On the other hand, the world economy will gain considerable advantages through multinational cooperation. Thanks to globalization, many businesses are having subsidiaries worldwide, creating numerous job opportunities for the locals. For example, various underdeveloped areas are receiving a boost in economic growth due to international companies constructing their off-shore headquarters there. Hai Phong in Vietnam, where Samsung built their subsidiary office, is an exemplary example as the province has welcomed an increasing number of laborers. Additionally, multinational conglomerates can enjoy attractive economic incentives from foreign nations, thus helping them save additional costs on tax and more. In Vietnam, Lego enjoyed feed-in tariffs, tax exemptions, and investment subsidies for building their first carbon neutral plant in the country.
In conclusion, international cooperation is a positive trend for both the economy and the environment and therefore, should be encouraged.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use uncountable noun Original: developments Suggested revision: development Why it matters: Development is normally uncountable when it refers generally to progress.
- 2. Improve preposition choice Original: mostly in environmental protection Suggested revision: mainly for environmental protection Why it matters: The revised phrase expresses the purpose of the benefits more naturally.
- 3. Use precise verb Original: do good to Suggested revision: benefit Why it matters: Benefit is more concise and appropriately formal in this context.
- 4. Correct crime collocation Original: are operated cross-border Suggested revision: are committed across borders Why it matters: Crimes are committed rather than operated, and across borders is the natural adverbial phrase.
- 5. Correct verb choice Original: deplete Suggested revision: stop Why it matters: Deplete cannot naturally describe bringing illegal activities to an end.
- 6. Simplify location phrase Original: spans across the lands of Suggested revision: extends across Why it matters: Extends across states the geographical range more naturally and concisely.
- 7. Correct fixed phrase Original: accounts for a part in Suggested revision: plays a part in Why it matters: Play a part in is the appropriate expression for contributing to a process.
- 8. Use accurate collocation Original: destroy the illegal timber production line Suggested revision: dismantle the illegal timber supply chain Why it matters: Dismantle a supply chain more accurately describes disrupting the cross-border operation.
- 9. Correct word meaning Original: contemporary eradication Suggested revision: temporary elimination Why it matters: Contemporary means current, whereas the sentence requires a word meaning short-lived.
- 10. Clarify application Original: apply accordingly to their respective countries Suggested revision: adapt the approaches to their own countries Why it matters: Apply needs an object here, and adapt the approaches clearly identifies what countries would use.
- 11. Improve collocation Original: better Suggested revision: greater Why it matters: Greater is the natural modifier for the noun effectiveness.
- 12. Use simple present Original: are having subsidiaries Suggested revision: have subsidiaries Why it matters: The simple present is appropriate for a continuing state of ownership.
Suggested Rewrites
- developments development
- mostly in environmental protection mainly for environmental protection
- do good to benefit
- are operated cross-border are committed across borders
- deplete stop
- spans across the lands of extends across
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response's strongest feature is its thorough, balanced development of both environmental and commercial benefits, supported by specific examples and a consistently clear position. Its main limitation is lexical precision, as several ambitious phrases and collocations sound unnatural or convey the wrong meaning. The highest priority is to replace these forced expressions with accurate, idiomatic wording while retaining the strong depth and organization.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed directly, the opinion remains clear, and each side is developed with relevant explanation and specific examples.
Refine the supporting examples so every claimed benefit is explained with precise and unquestionably relevant cause-and-effect reasoning.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices make the contrast between the two views easy to follow.
Make transitions slightly less formulaic by relying more on the logical relationship between sentences than on explicit sequencing phrases.
Lexical Resource
A wide vocabulary supports detailed discussion, but recurring awkward collocations and inaccurate word choices reduce precision.
Prioritize natural collocations, replacing phrases such as 'deplete these activities' and 'contemporary eradication' with contextually exact alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex structures is used with generally strong control, although a few agreement and aspect choices are awkward.
Proofread complex sentences for subject-verb agreement, pronoun reference, and appropriate tense or aspect before finalizing the response.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think the main benefit of international cooperation is in the protection of the environment, while others think that the main benefits are in the world business. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.