As we are facing more and more problems, which affect the whole planet, good relationships between different countries are becoming more important than ever before. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
It is irrefutable that nowadays the whole world has become a global village and communication It is irrefutable that nowadays the whole world has become a global village and communication and trade between different countries is also becoming more frequent than ever before. At the same time, the whole planet is facing problems, such as environmental problem, terrorism and poverty and diseases. In my view, countries cannot solve these problems on their own and governments of different countries must cooperate to fight these problems.
To begin with, take environmental problems. It is a bitter truth that the Earth is facing the problem of global warming and if the whole world does not unite to fight this problem, then the day is not far when the whole Earth will become a boiling pot and life would not be possible here. The Kyoto protocol has been signed by many countries of the United Nations in which, they have pledged not to make industries, which emit more than 5.2% carbon dioxide.
Furthermore, there are problems like terrorism, which are having a detrimental effect on our society. There are various global organizations, which are working towards eradicating these issues but it cannot be possible without trust and harmony between different nations.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use plural noun Original: problem Suggested revision: problems Why it matters: The list refers to environmental problems as a general category, so the plural form is needed.
- 2. Clarify the list Original: terrorism and poverty and diseases Suggested revision: terrorism, poverty, and disease Why it matters: Parallel punctuation makes this three-item list clear and avoids repeated conjunctions.
- 3. Use concise wording Original: governments of different countries Suggested revision: national governments Why it matters: This concise phrase expresses the same meaning more naturally.
- 4. Choose precise verb Original: fight Suggested revision: address Why it matters: Governments address broad global problems rather than literally fight them.
- 5. Use formal phrasing Original: take Suggested revision: consider Why it matters: Consider is more appropriate than take when introducing an issue for discussion.
- 6. Use academic wording Original: a bitter truth Suggested revision: a serious reality Why it matters: This alternative conveys the concern in a more formal academic register.
- 7. Use direct verb Original: is facing the problem of Suggested revision: faces Why it matters: The direct verb removes an unnecessarily heavy noun phrase.
- 8. Specify the actors Original: if the whole world Suggested revision: if countries worldwide Why it matters: Countries worldwide identifies the actors that can cooperate more precisely.
- 9. Match plural subject Original: does Suggested revision: do Why it matters: The plural subject countries requires do rather than does.
- 10. Choose precise verb Original: fight Suggested revision: address Why it matters: Address is a more precise academic collocation for dealing with global warming.
- 11. Clarify the consequence Original: then the day is not far when Suggested revision: it will not be long before Why it matters: This phrasing connects the condition to its predicted consequence more naturally.
- 12. Avoid repetition Original: the whole Earth Suggested revision: the planet Why it matters: The planet avoids repeating Earth while preserving the meaning.
Suggested Rewrites
- problem problems
- terrorism and poverty and diseases terrorism, poverty, and disease
- governments of different countries national governments
- fight address
- take consider
- a bitter truth a serious reality
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response presents a clear agreement and uses relevant global examples, with the environmental paragraph offering the most substantial support. However, it is under length, the terrorism point is only briefly asserted, and there is no concluding paragraph, so the argument feels incomplete. The highest priority is to extend each main idea with precise explanation and evidence, then close by restating the position.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained, but the short response develops only the environmental example adequately and leaves the terrorism point superficial.
Meet the required length by explaining how cooperation addresses each problem and add a conclusion that reinforces the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through an introduction and two topic-based paragraphs, although the opening repetition and missing conclusion weaken the overall structure.
Remove the duplicated opening text and use a final paragraph to complete the progression of the argument.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied for the topic, but several combinations and word choices are awkward or imprecise.
Use more precise collocations, such as environmental problems and reduce industrial emissions, while avoiding exaggerated phrases like boiling pot.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences communicates the main ideas, but recurring agreement, article, plural, and punctuation errors reduce control.
Check noun forms, subject-verb agreement, and comma placement, especially in long sentences with relative clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
As we are facing more and more problems, which affect the whole planet, good relationships between different countries are becoming more important than ever before. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.