Emigration is a natural consequence of an individual’s desire to improve their lives. Therefore there should be no restrictions on international migration. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Sample Response
One of the central premises of emigrating is to improve someone’s quality of lifequality of someone’s life and it is felt that as a human rightfor human right, there should be no border controls between Western countries and their less wealthy neighboursless-rich neighbors. Nevertheless, it is asserted that removing these controls will have many negative consequencesthis will cause lots of negative impacts compared with usingwhen compared to having sophisticated methods of control.
Firstly, moral foundations of liberal democracies will be threatened by exotic culture unless there are firm border policiesadamant and border policies on international migration. It is stressed that culturalculture assimilation may be the central issue in the foreseeable future as more and more Asian emigrants move to Australiastep into Australia to seek greater employment opportunities. Distinctive features of AustraliaFeatures of distinct Australia such as traditional dress, ingrained rituals and religious practices now seem not to be preservedfortified because they have been replaced by similarreplaced by similarities in clothing, music and cultural traditionstradition imported from Asian states.
In addition, economic wealth and security tend to declinedecrease in quality provided that restrictive measures are not applied to migration governancerestrictive measures do not apply on migration governance. It is argued that external control ofto migration flows before they reach their destination countries and internal control after migration are essential. The reason for this is thatbecause the government needs to assure the safety and well-being of all itstheir residents including refugees. Therefore, strict control border policies and a selective processselective process in choosing appropriate migrants play a pivotal role in securing people of developed countries. Also, it is thought to be one of the efficient ways to help avoid destabilization of economic growth.
In conclusion, it is human nature to have their lives improved and emigrating is one possible wayone of possible ways to satisfy their desire. However, restrictive measures in terms of border controls need to be imposed in developed nations in order to avoid cultural blurring and insecurity.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a clear restrictive position and organises its two main reasons into distinct paragraphs. Its main limitation is that claims about culture, security, and economic stability are asserted broadly rather than developed through convincing causal explanation or specific evidence, while frequent unnatural phrasing reduces precision. The highest priority is to build one well-supported argument per paragraph and express it with simpler, accurately controlled collocations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear opposing position is maintained, but the relevant reasons depend heavily on broad assertions and limited support.
Develop each reason through a specific causal explanation and a credible example rather than relying on general claims.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure provides broadly logical progression, although some linking and referencing feel mechanical or vague.
Use clearer internal links between each claim, explanation, and consequence, and replace vague references with explicit nouns.
Lexical Resource
Ambitious vocabulary conveys the central argument, but frequent inaccurate word choices and collocations reduce precision.
Prefer familiar, natural combinations such as strict border controls and controls on migration, checking each advanced phrase for accuracy.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex sentence forms is attempted, but recurring errors with articles, prepositions, word order, and noun forms weaken control.
Edit complex sentences for article and preposition accuracy, and split constructions that become difficult to control.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Emigration is a natural consequence of an individual’s desire to improve their lives. Therefore there should be no restrictions on international migration. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.