As international travel has become cheaper. More and more countries open their doors and more tourists go abroad for traveling. Do the advantages of increased tourism overweight the disadvantages?
Sample Response
In this modern era, with the advent of technology, a vast number of sources of transportation are available which are not only cheap but comfortable also. airways are one of them. different countries have made it easy for tourists to visit there and a majority of people travel day by day. it has many advantages except some disadvantages. This will be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs. As international travel has become cheaper. more and more countries
The first and foremost advantage is that it has increased the sense of brotherhood between people of different nations. for instance, people visit other countries and meet the native people there. secondly, it has increased globalization. it gives chance to passengers to know about the culture and traditions of other states and they can adopt some good qualities of the culture. as a result, they become socially strong. moreover, people do business and invest their money in foreign countries which would be helpful in flourishing the business. for example, Nestle India limited is established by the reunion of India and Switzerland and it has created a large number of opportunities for job-seeking persons.
On the other hand, it has some disadvantages also. the foreign companies who invest in the home nation become a big threat for the small and domestic companies. the small companies are unable to compete with them. the other thing is sometimes wayfarer adopt some bad qualities from the people of advanced nations. for instance, the foreign culture does not suit the culture of India to a major extent. so people are crazy to follow the western culture which results in destroying the home culture and traditions. As international travel has become cheaper. more and more countries
In conclusion, the need of the time is to take the benefit of the journey to other nations. people should adopt the beneficial things of different cultures. whether it has some disadvantages but advantages overlooked them. As international travel has become cheaper. more and more countries
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix correlative structure Original: cheap but comfortable also Suggested revision: both cheap and comfortable Why it matters: The paired construction “both … and” correctly links the two adjectives.
- 2. Name transport mode correctly Original: airways are Suggested revision: Air travel is Why it matters: “Air travel” is the natural uncountable term for this mode of transportation.
- 3. Use plural object Original: there Suggested revision: them Why it matters: The plural pronoun “them” correctly refers back to “different countries.”
- 4. Use frequency expression Original: travel day by day Suggested revision: travel every day Why it matters: “Every day” expresses daily frequency, while “day by day” describes gradual change.
- 5. Correct contrast relationship Original: many advantages except some disadvantages Suggested revision: many advantages as well as some disadvantages Why it matters: “As well as” correctly shows that both advantages and disadvantages exist.
- 6. Add article and object Original: gives chance to passengers Suggested revision: gives travellers a chance Why it matters: The countable noun “chance” needs an article, and “travellers” fits international tourism.
- 7. Clarify social benefit Original: socially strong Suggested revision: more socially aware Why it matters: “Socially aware” more clearly expresses increased understanding of other cultures.
- 8. Fix verb construction Original: would be helpful in flourishing the business Suggested revision: could help their businesses flourish Why it matters: “Help” takes the base verb “flourish,” and the plural possessive clarifies whose businesses benefit.
- 9. Use past tense Original: is Suggested revision: was Why it matters: The establishment is a completed past event, so the simple past is required.
- 10. Replace incorrect noun Original: the reunion of India and Switzerland Suggested revision: cooperation between India and Switzerland Why it matters: “Cooperation” expresses collaboration, whereas “reunion” means meeting again after separation.
- 11. Use natural additive phrase Original: disadvantages also Suggested revision: disadvantages as well Why it matters: “As well” is the natural end-position additive expression in this sentence.
- 12. Fix sentence start Original: the foreign companies who Suggested revision: Foreign companies that Why it matters: The sentence needs capitalization, and “that” appropriately refers to companies.
Suggested Rewrites
- cheap but comfortable also both cheap and comfortable
- airways are Air travel is
- there them
- travel day by day travel every day
- many advantages except some disadvantages many advantages as well as some disadvantages
- gives chance to passengers gives travellers a chance
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response identifies advantages and disadvantages and ultimately states that the advantages are greater, while its basic four-paragraph structure keeps the main direction visible. Development is often general or only loosely connected to tourism, and repeated prompt fragments, inaccurate vocabulary, and frequent sentence-level errors substantially disrupt the presentation. The main priority is to remove copied fragments and build each argument through one relevant, clearly explained tourism example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both sides and gives an overall judgment, but several ideas are general, weakly supported, or more about foreign investment than tourism.
Use directly relevant tourism effects and explain clearly why the combined advantages outweigh the stated disadvantages.
Coherence and Cohesion
Basic paragraphing separates the two sides, but mechanical linking and repeated prompt fragments interrupt progression and cohesion.
Remove the repeated task wording and connect each paragraph's sentences through a clear claim, explanation, and example sequence.
Lexical Resource
Some topic vocabulary is attempted, but frequent inaccurate choices such as sources of transportation, wayfarer, and advantages overlooked them reduce clarity.
Use familiar, precise tourism vocabulary and verify word form and collocation before adding less common expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent capitalization, agreement, article, and clause-structure errors persist across both simple and complex sentences, although the main meaning is usually recoverable.
Start every sentence correctly and practise controlling subject-verb agreement and clause boundaries before attempting longer structures.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
As international travel has become cheaper. More and more countries open their doors and more tourists go abroad for traveling. Do the advantages of increased tourism overweight the disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.