International travel sometimes makes people prejudiced rather than broad minded. What may be the reasons for this? What can people do to improve their understanding of the countries they visit?
Sample Response
International travel is regarded as one of the finest ways of broadening one’s outlook by understanding the diversity of different places, the people, their culture and lifestyle. On the downside, international travel has also led tourists to become biased and cold instead of receptive and indulgent.
One of the primary causes aiding this unwanted outcome is that what is considered sacred in one place may not hold any value for the tourists. In Arab countries, for instance, women are required to wear a burka or unrevealing clothes, and western women, not realizing the importance of being fully clad, may develop an aversion as to why women in these countries are treated the way they are. And visa-versa, a tourist hailing from a reserved background may not identify with the western culture, and feel appalled by the lifestyle of people there through not knowing better. Research prior to the trip can resolve this, or if there is a tour guide or organizer, they must take it upon themselves to educate the tourists about the local values and culture in a way that they understand and empathise rather than look down upon it.
Stereotyping is another significant cause of prejudice among tourists. The source of stereotyping is media portrayal of certain countries, places and people which is why tourists have preconceived negative opinions about these places when they arrive. Without really getting to know the local people, a trip may just accentuate these views. Awareness is the only cure to break the stereotypes and for this interaction amongst the local people and the tourists must be rallied by encouraging home stays so that the differences between reality and media portrayal can come to the surface.
In conclusion, international tourism does have its problems which can lead to prejudiced views. However, efforts in the right direction can overcome them.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use a precise adjective Original: finest ways Suggested revision: most effective ways Why it matters: “Most effective” describes the usefulness of travel more precisely than “finest.”
- 2. Remove redundancy Original: diversity of different places Suggested revision: diversity of places Why it matters: “Diversity” already conveys difference, so “different” is redundant.
- 3. Make the list parallel Original: the people, their culture and lifestyle Suggested revision: their peoples, cultures and lifestyles Why it matters: Plural parallel nouns correctly match the range of places being discussed.
- 4. Use relevant descriptors Original: biased and cold Suggested revision: prejudiced and unreceptive Why it matters: These adjectives describe negative attitudes toward other cultures more precisely.
- 5. Correct the word choice Original: receptive and indulgent Suggested revision: open-minded and understanding Why it matters: “Indulgent” does not express cultural openness in this context.
- 6. Correct the collocation Original: aiding Suggested revision: of Why it matters: A cause produces an outcome, so “causes of” is the appropriate construction.
- 7. Use a generic plural Original: for the tourists Suggested revision: for tourists Why it matters: The zero article is natural when referring to tourists in general.
- 8. Capitalize the adjective Original: western Suggested revision: Western Why it matters: “Western” is a proper adjective and requires a capital letter.
- 9. Clarify the reaction Original: may develop an aversion as to why Suggested revision: may question why Why it matters: The original expression combines “aversion” with an unsuitable “as to why” complement.
- 10. Correct the expression Original: visa-versa Suggested revision: vice versa Why it matters: The fixed expression is spelled “vice versa.”
- 11. Choose a clearer adjective Original: reserved Suggested revision: conservative Why it matters: “Conservative” more clearly conveys a background with restrained social norms.
- 12. Remove the internal comma Original: , and feel appalled Suggested revision: and feel appalled Why it matters: The comma should not separate two predicates that share the same subject.
Suggested Rewrites
- finest ways most effective ways
- diversity of different places diversity of places
- the people, their culture and lifestyle their peoples, cultures and lifestyles
- biased and cold prejudiced and unreceptive
- receptive and indulgent open-minded and understanding
- aiding of
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response addresses both questions directly and develops two relevant causes alongside practical remedies, with a clear overall progression. Its main limitation is imprecise and occasionally awkward language, especially in descriptions of cultural difference, which sometimes weakens clarity and tone. The highest-priority improvement is to express the examples in more neutral, precise language and tighten the longer sentences so each cause-and-solution relationship is immediately clear.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both the reasons for prejudice and ways to improve understanding are fully addressed through relevant, extended explanations and examples.
Use more carefully qualified examples to avoid broad cultural generalisations while retaining the same depth of development.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically organised around two cause-and-solution sequences, although some long sentences make the internal progression less smooth.
Separate the densest explanatory sentences and signal each proposed remedy more directly after its corresponding cause.
Lexical Resource
The response shows sufficient range for the topic, but several choices are inaccurate or awkward, including ‘indulgent,’ ‘causes aiding,’ and ‘must be rallied.’
Prioritise idiomatic, neutral wording for cultural attitudes and check collocations rather than selecting unusually formal alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is used with generally clear meaning, despite occasional agreement, punctuation, and sentence-control lapses.
Revise long multi-clause sentences for agreement and clause boundaries, especially where examples shift between singular and plural subjects.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
International travel sometimes makes people prejudiced rather than broad minded. What may be the reasons for this? What can people do to improve their understanding of the countries they visit?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.