Many people are travelling to other countries. Why? Is it a positive or negative development?
Sample Response
There is a great number of people going travelling and visiting other nations, these days. This can be caused by several reasons and personally, it is a positive development.
To begin with, there are two contributing factors behind people’s motivation to travel. First, many of them may want to learn more about unfamiliar cultures as during their trip, they are allowed to get exposed to local people and observe cultural differences here. This gives them a chance to make a comparison of cultural traits in different nations, which helps them enrich their knowledge and have a more profound understanding of the world. Second, a number of people decide to go on a trip in another nation so that they can visit their relatives or family members who live overseas. Video calls or photos only help them see each other’s faces without hugging or holding hands, and therefore, they desire to travel abroad so as to meet their beloved ones in flesh.
I believe the prevalence of cross-border trips brings about great positive effects on society. With many travellers coming to a country, the demand for housing and food here will likely grow, so local people can earn a great amount of money through providing shelters and selling their traditional cuisines. For instance, Thailand is a country that welcomes millions of travellers from around the world annually, thanks to which the tourism industry here can flourish. Thousands of jobs have also been created, such as workers in travel agencies, taxi drivers or tour guides, to serve the great number of international tourists. Therefore, many Thai residents working in this industry have escaped poverty, avoid unemployment and enjoy a better life quality.
In conclusion, people these days travel across the border in order to acquire new knowledge and see one another. In my opinion, this development is positive due to its various social benefits.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use accurate causation phrase Original: caused by several reasons Suggested revision: explained by several factors Why it matters: A trend is more naturally explained by factors than caused by reasons.
- 2. Use concise verb Original: make a comparison of Suggested revision: compare Why it matters: The verb compare expresses the same meaning more directly.
- 3. Correct travel phrase Original: go on a trip in another nation Suggested revision: travel to another country Why it matters: Travel to is the natural preposition and country is more idiomatic here.
- 4. Use idiomatic expression Original: beloved ones in flesh Suggested revision: loved ones in person Why it matters: In person is the standard expression for meeting someone physically.
- 5. Clarify location and service Original: housing and food here Suggested revision: accommodation and food there Why it matters: Accommodation is more precise for travellers, and there refers clearly to the country mentioned.
- 6. Use suitable tourism term Original: through providing shelters Suggested revision: by providing accommodation Why it matters: Shelters does not naturally describe paid lodging for tourists.
- 7. Choose precise food term Original: cuisines Suggested revision: dishes Why it matters: Dishes refers more precisely to the individual foods local people sell.
- 8. Use quantity collocation Original: great Suggested revision: large Why it matters: Large number is the standard collocation for a high count.
- 9. Simplify reason phrase Original: two contributing factors behind people’s motivation Suggested revision: two main reasons for people’s motivation Why it matters: The revision states the relationship between the reasons and the motivation more directly.
- 10. Use natural knowledge phrase Original: enrich Suggested revision: broaden Why it matters: Broaden knowledge is the more natural collocation for learning about several cultures.
- 11. Use concise collocation Original: have a more profound understanding Suggested revision: gain a deeper understanding Why it matters: Gain a deeper understanding is more concise and idiomatic.
- 12. Remove redundant alternatives Original: their relatives or family members Suggested revision: their relatives Why it matters: Relatives already includes family members, so the alternatives are redundant.
Suggested Rewrites
- caused by several reasons explained by several factors
- make a comparison of compare
- go on a trip in another nation travel to another country
- beloved ones in flesh loved ones in person
- housing and food here accommodation and food there
- through providing shelters by providing accommodation
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response is strongest in its focused, well-developed answer: it gives two clear reasons for travel, maintains a consistent positive position, and supports the benefits with a relevant example. Its main limitation is occasional unnatural wording and a few grammatical slips, so the highest priority is to refine collocations and sentence control while preserving the essay’s effective development and logical progression.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both parts are fully addressed through two developed motivations for travel and a clear, well-supported positive evaluation of the trend.
Make the social benefit slightly broader by explaining how tourism gains extend beyond workers directly employed in the industry.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a clear introduction, two focused body paragraphs, and a concise conclusion, with generally effective linking.
Reduce repetitive signposting and vague references such as ‘here’ so cohesion feels more precise and less mechanical.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a broad topic-specific vocabulary, although several collocations such as ‘beloved ones in flesh’ and ‘providing shelters’ sound unnatural.
Refine collocations for travel, accommodation, and personal relationships to make otherwise strong vocabulary more idiomatic.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex sentences is handled with generally good control, despite occasional punctuation, agreement, and parallel-structure errors.
Check long sentences for clean clause boundaries and maintain parallel verb forms, especially in lists of outcomes.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people are travelling to other countries. Why? Is it a positive or negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.