The internet means people do not need to travel to foreign countries to understand how others live. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
The growth of information available on the internet in recent decades has prompted some to question the value of international travel. In my opinion, travelling to other countries is a rewarding experience, but I am largely in agreement with this position.
Those who still advocate travelling abroad highlight how important the experience can be. This argument centres around both its value in itself as well as its utility. Most travellers can justify the time and money by the enjoyable experience and discovery of another country, including their people and traditions. These experiences are also formative. For example, someone who grows up in a wealthy European nation might not have seen how people live in developing or more ethnically diverse countries. They will therefore have a fuller understanding of the rest of the world if they travel a lot and this could impact both their political views and their actions later in life.
Nonetheless, travel is no longer as important as it used to be because it is now possible to learn about countries online. The experience is still valuable but online information is actually likely to be more accurate and comprehensive. An individual who wants to research life in Vietnam, for instance, can scroll through lifestyle blogs, read the local online versions of magazines, watch videos of both foreigners and residents from all over the country, follow individuals from a wide segment of society on Instagram, and generally get a good sense for the country without ever setting foot there. In the past, limited access to technology in those developing countries might have made it impossible to understand how locals live, but that is no longer a problem.
In conclusion, the information that can be found on the internet has greatly diminished the importance of the experience of travelling to other countries. Each individual must nonetheless decide for themselves whether it is still a worthwhile expense.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise collocation Original: around Suggested revision: on Why it matters: 'Centres on' is the more concise standard collocation.
- 2. Fix correlative structure Original: both its value in itself as well as its utility Suggested revision: both its intrinsic value and its practical utility Why it matters: The 'both ... and' structure requires parallel elements.
- 3. Improve noun relationship Original: by the enjoyable experience and discovery Suggested revision: through the enjoyable experience of discovering Why it matters: The revised phrase links the experience naturally to the act of discovery.
- 4. Fix pronoun agreement Original: their Suggested revision: its Why it matters: The singular noun 'country' requires the singular possessive pronoun 'its.'
- 5. Use formal phrasing Original: travel a lot Suggested revision: travel widely Why it matters: 'Travel widely' is more concise and appropriately formal for an academic essay.
- 6. Clarify reference Original: this could impact Suggested revision: this experience could influence Why it matters: Naming the referent makes the connection to travel clearer.
- 7. Add clause comma Original: valuable but online Suggested revision: valuable, but online Why it matters: A comma is needed before the coordinating conjunction joining two independent clauses.
- 8. Simplify noun phrase Original: the local online versions of magazines Suggested revision: local online magazines Why it matters: The shorter phrase conveys the same meaning without unnecessary wording.
- 9. Use precise collocation Original: a wide segment of society Suggested revision: a broad cross-section of society Why it matters: 'A broad cross-section' more naturally describes people from varied social groups.
- 10. Correct preposition Original: for Suggested revision: of Why it matters: The idiomatic construction is 'a sense of' a place or subject.
- 11. Remove vague determiner Original: those developing countries Suggested revision: developing countries Why it matters: 'Those' lacks a clear specific referent and can be removed.
- 12. Choose natural collocation Original: expense Suggested revision: investment Why it matters: 'Investment' more naturally expresses an expense judged valuable for its benefits.
Suggested Rewrites
- around on
- both its value in itself as well as its utility both its intrinsic value and its practical utility
- by the enjoyable experience and discovery through the enjoyable experience of discovering
- their its
- travel a lot travel widely
- this could impact this experience could influence
Why this response received Band 8.0
This is a focused and persuasive response with a clear qualified position, logically developed paragraphs, and a specific example that illustrates how online sources can provide broad cultural access. The main limitation is that the claim that online information is more accurate and comprehensive is asserted more strongly than it is evaluated. The priority is to compare the limitations of virtual information and firsthand travel more explicitly before confirming the final judgment.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response fully addresses the extent question, maintains a clear qualified agreement, and develops both the remaining value of travel and the strength of online alternatives.
Evaluate possible limits of online representations more directly to make the comparative judgment even more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically sequenced, each paragraph has a clear purpose, and cohesive devices guide the contrast without disrupting progression.
Tighten the transition from travel's general benefits to the specific issue of understanding how people live.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied, precise, and appropriately sophisticated, with effective topic-specific language and only occasional awkward phrasing.
Refine expressions such as discovery of another country, including their people, and avoid slightly redundant pairings.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentence forms are varied and consistently well controlled, with only very minor lapses in phrasing or reference.
Polish the longest list-based sentences so coordination and reference remain maximally clear.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The internet means people do not need to travel to foreign countries to understand how others live. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.