The internet is viewed as an excellent means of communication by many. However, there are others who would argue that it is actually destroying our communication skills. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
The internet is considered to be the boon for the people of the technical era. Since it facilitates them in all fields such as banking, business promotion, entertainment, travel ticket bookings, communications etc. and has been making their work much easier, people are depending on this technology heavily. The most important benefit reaped out of the advent of the internet is the easy way of communication, argues many, like the business people, academicians, students but the counter-arguers emphasise that it is because of this invention the communication skill is gradually waning. However, in my opinion, if this tool is used effectively it could be more beneficial to the society.
With regard to the people who support the opinion that the World Wide Web is the best method to communicate with others, there are several arguments to put forth. Firstly, e-mail has been serving as a fast and effective way to send messages and get a quick reply when compared to the earlier postal services. It not only helps in exchange of information but also in more academic works, for instance in conducting webinars. This is where experts from various countries can join in a discussion about a research topic by using the application software like Google hangout. This is not all, personal communication, for individuals staying abroad to get in touch with their family, made facile by the use of Skype. So this way interest aids communication between people.
Contrarily, according to people who incline to the opinion that it destroys the communication skill, there are few viewpoints. Instead, they would enjoy staying alone with their electronic gadgets which have internet access. This aptly suits for the children who now prefer to stay online and chat which friends as opposed to going out and making friends. So if this scenario persists then they would gradually lose their communication skills, argue the supporters of this point of view.
To conclude, the internet is the best way of communication as it saves time to a great extent. So if the usage is restricted to a particular time for children then the negative issue creeping out of this invention could be kerbed. Consequently, the whole society could acquire the advantages of using the internet to communicate.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct the article Original: the Suggested revision: a Why it matters: A general benefit is introduced with the indefinite article.
- 2. Use natural phrasing Original: the people of the technical era Suggested revision: people in the digital era Why it matters: ‘People in the digital era’ is a natural way to identify the group and period.
- 3. Refine list ending Original: communications etc. Suggested revision: communication Why it matters: The uncountable noun completes the examples without the vague ‘etc.’.
- 4. Use simple present Original: are depending on this technology heavily Suggested revision: depend heavily on this technology Why it matters: The simple present suits a general ongoing tendency, and the adverb sits naturally before the prepositional phrase.
- 5. Correct the collocation Original: reaped out of Suggested revision: derived from Why it matters: Benefits are ‘derived from’ an invention; ‘reaped out of’ is not idiomatic.
- 6. Use concise noun phrase Original: easy way of communication Suggested revision: ease of communication Why it matters: ‘Ease of communication’ expresses the intended benefit more naturally.
- 7. Remove incorrect article Original: beneficial to the society Suggested revision: beneficial to society Why it matters: ‘Society’ takes no article when referring to society in general.
- 8. Use concise phrase Original: arguments to put forth Suggested revision: arguments in its favour Why it matters: The revised phrase is concise and directly identifies the supporting arguments.
- 9. Fix noun phrase Original: helps in exchange of information Suggested revision: helps with the exchange of information Why it matters: The construction requires ‘with’ and the definite article before ‘exchange’.
- 10. Use natural collocation Original: in more academic works Suggested revision: with academic work Why it matters: ‘Academic work’ is normally uncountable in this general sense and follows ‘helps with’.
- 11. Correct proper name Original: hangout Suggested revision: Hangouts Why it matters: The product name requires capitalization and its established plural form.
- 12. Correct the word Original: interest aids communication Suggested revision: the internet aids communication Why it matters: ‘Interest’ is a spelling error that changes the intended subject.
Suggested Rewrites
- the a
- the people of the technical era people in the digital era
- communications etc. communication
- are depending on this technology heavily depend heavily on this technology
- reaped out of derived from
- easy way of communication ease of communication
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response covers both views, states a consistent favourable opinion, and supports the benefits of online communication with relevant examples. The opposing view is much less developed, and several sentences contain awkward or incomplete structures that interrupt an otherwise clear progression. Prioritise expanding the negative case with a fully explained cause-and-effect example, then edit sentences for complete and natural clause construction.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views and the writer's opinion are addressed, but the positive case is substantially better developed than the negative case.
Add a specific example showing how habitual online interaction can weaken face-to-face communication skills.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses through a clear four-paragraph structure, although some linking is mechanical or lacks a clear antecedent.
Make each transition refer explicitly to the preceding idea and build the shorter opposing-view paragraph more fully.
Lexical Resource
A good range of topic-specific and less common vocabulary is evident, though several words and collocations are imprecise or awkward.
Refine collocations such as benefit society, communicate with family, and curb negative effects, and proofread word choice carefully.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex forms are attempted frequently and meaning remains clear, but agreement, article, preposition, and fragment errors occur throughout.
Revise sentence fragments and embedded clauses so that subjects, verbs, and dependent structures connect grammatically.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The internet is viewed as an excellent means of communication by many. However, there are others who would argue that it is actually destroying our communication skills. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.