Some people think that the internet has brought people closer together while others think that people and communities have become more isolated due to the internet. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
The impact of the internet on social connectivity is a subject of fierce debate. While some argue that it has fostered closer relationships, others claim that it has caused increased isolation. This essay will explore both perspectives and lean towards the view that the internet has brought people closer together.
Critics argue that the internet has led to increased social isolation. They point to instances where individuals, particularly younger generations, spend excessive time online, withdrawing from real-world interactions. For instance, studies show a rise in social anxiety among adolescents, largely attributed to prolonged internet usage.
On the contrary, proponents of the idea that the internet brings people closer together emphasize its role in connecting individuals across geographical boundaries. Social media platforms, for instance, enable people to interact with friends, family, and even strangers from different parts of the world. Virtual communities and online forums allow individuals to engage in discussions, share experiences, and develop friendships beyond physical limitations.
The internet, through its vast array of communication tools and platforms, has undoubtedly enriched social connections. Video calls, social media interactions, and shared interest forums have diminished the barriers of distance and fostered a sense of community among diverse individuals. The ability to instantly connect with people globally has redefined relationships and opened doors to cross-cultural understanding and cooperation.
In conclusion, while concerns about internet-induced isolation are valid, the overwhelming evidence suggests that the internet has predominantly enhanced social connectivity. Its role in bringing people together, transcending geographical limitations, and enabling diverse interactions signifies its pivotal role in fostering a more interconnected global community.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural quantity wording Original: spend excessive time Suggested revision: spend too much time Why it matters: “Too much time” is the more natural expression for an undesirable amount.
- 2. Correct the contrast marker Original: On the contrary Suggested revision: By contrast Why it matters: This paragraph presents the opposing view rather than refuting the preceding statement as false.
- 3. Use concise wording Original: idea Suggested revision: view Why it matters: “The view” is a more concise label for the position under discussion.
- 4. Clarify the limitation Original: beyond physical limitations Suggested revision: despite physical distance Why it matters: The replacement specifies the geographical constraint that online communities overcome.
- 5. Hyphenate the modifier Original: shared interest forums Suggested revision: shared-interest forums Why it matters: The compound modifier is clearer when hyphenated before the noun.
- 6. Improve the collocation Original: diminished the barriers of distance Suggested revision: reduced the barriers created by distance Why it matters: The replacement uses a more natural verb–noun relationship.
- 7. Clarify diversity Original: among diverse individuals Suggested revision: among people from diverse backgrounds Why it matters: The replacement states more precisely how the individuals differ.
- 8. Use formal wording Original: opened doors to Suggested revision: created opportunities for Why it matters: The replacement is more precise and less idiomatic in formal academic prose.
- 9. Use measured wording Original: subject of fierce debate Suggested revision: widely debated issue Why it matters: The replacement conveys disagreement in a more measured academic register.
- 10. Clarify the effect Original: caused increased isolation Suggested revision: increased social isolation Why it matters: The replacement is more concise and specifies the type of isolation discussed.
- 11. Use a precise contrast Original: real-world interactions Suggested revision: face-to-face interactions Why it matters: The replacement precisely contrasts in-person contact with time spent online.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: For instance, studies show a rise in social anxiety among adolescents, largely attributed to prolonged internet usage. Suggested revision: For instance, studies show a rise in social anxiety among adolescents that is largely attributed to prolonged internet use. Why it matters: This rewrite attaches the modifier clearly to the rise in anxiety rather than leaving it grammatically ambiguous.
Suggested Rewrites
- spend excessive time spend too much time
- On the contrary By contrast
- idea view
- beyond physical limitations despite physical distance
- shared interest forums shared-interest forums
- diminished the barriers of distance reduced the barriers created by distance
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is fluent, well organised, and linguistically controlled, with a clear opinion and relevant coverage of both perspectives. The case for increased isolation is comparatively brief, while the later discussion of connectivity becomes somewhat repetitive and relies on broad claims rather than specific support. Develop the counterargument further and replace repeated generalisations with one or two sharply explained examples.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are relevantly addressed and the opinion is clear throughout, but the isolation argument is less fully developed than the preferred view.
Extend the opposing view with a more fully explained mechanism or example before weighing it against the stronger connectivity case.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has clear paragraphing and logical overall progression, though the two connectivity paragraphs overlap in purpose and one contrast marker is imprecise.
Give each body paragraph a distinct argumentative function and use a precise contrast transition when moving between opposing views.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary supports nuanced discussion, with only occasional formulaic phrasing or slightly awkward combinations.
Increase precision further by replacing broad claims such as overwhelming evidence with specific, appropriately qualified language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentence forms are handled flexibly and accurately throughout, with only rare minor lapses and consistently clear meaning.
Maintain this control while varying sentence openings and trimming occasional heavy noun phrases for greater stylistic ease.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that the internet has brought people closer together while others think that people and communities have become more isolated due to the internet. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.