There are many inventions in human history, such as the wheel. Some people think the most important thing is the internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
Throughout the ages, human race has created a myriad of inventions that brought about profound changes to our way of life such as the wheel. From my perspective, I strongly agree with the statement that the most influential innovation of mankind is the Internet.
To commence with, the immense contribution of the Internet technology to communication and information sharing has made modern life become easier. Firstly, one can communicate with people in virtually any parts of the world through emails, and the message is delivered in matter of seconds. Businesses that learn to take advantage of the world wide web would be able to reach out to potential customers all over the world. Personal communication has also become faster and easier by virtue of the latest messenger services in offering. With the help of such services, one could establish a kind of global friendship where they can share their thoughts and explore other cultures.
Second, another major advantage of the Internet is easy access to information. There is no doubt that the Internet is a virtual treasure’s trove of information. There is a huge amount of information available on the internet for just about every subject known to man, ranging from government law and services, trade fairs and conferences, market information, new ideas and technical support, the lists is simply endless. With this storehouse of information, an individual can not only increase their knowledge bank but also save tremendous amount of time visiting a library and conducting exhaustive research.
In conclusion, the accessibility of the Internet has opened countless opportunities to people by stripping away geographical barriers and sharing information instantaneously. Given its indispensable role in our daily existence, the Internet truly is the greatest invention in human history.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add the article Original: human race Suggested revision: the human race Why it matters: The fixed expression requires the definite article.
- 2. Use present perfect Original: inventions that brought Suggested revision: inventions that have brought Why it matters: The present perfect links inventions created over time to their continuing effects.
- 3. Clarify example attachment Original: life such as the wheel Suggested revision: life, with the wheel being one example Why it matters: The revision makes clear that the wheel exemplifies inventions rather than ways of life.
- 4. Remove the article Original: the Internet technology Suggested revision: Internet technology Why it matters: Internet technology is used as an uncountable general term and does not take the article here.
- 5. Fix causative structure Original: made modern life become easier Suggested revision: made modern life easier Why it matters: Make takes an object followed directly by an adjective in this construction.
- 6. Use singular after any Original: parts Suggested revision: part Why it matters: Any takes the singular countable noun part when it means every possible location.
- 7. Add missing article Original: in matter of seconds Suggested revision: in a matter of seconds Why it matters: The fixed phrase requires the indefinite article a.
- 8. Match the condition Original: would be able to reach out Suggested revision: can reach out Why it matters: The real general condition introduced by businesses that learn calls for can rather than hypothetical would.
- 9. Use standard form Original: world wide web Suggested revision: World Wide Web Why it matters: The proper name is conventionally capitalized and written as three separate words.
- 10. Correct the phrase Original: messenger services in offering Suggested revision: messaging services on offer Why it matters: Messaging services on offer is the natural phrase for currently available services.
- 11. Keep pronouns consistent Original: one could establish Suggested revision: people can establish Why it matters: Using people creates a clear plural antecedent for they later in the sentence.
- 12. Use correct relative link Original: where they can share Suggested revision: through which they can share Why it matters: Through which correctly links the friendship to the activities it enables.
Suggested Rewrites
- human race the human race
- inventions that brought inventions that have brought
- life such as the wheel life, with the wheel being one example
- the Internet technology Internet technology
- made modern life become easier made modern life easier
- parts part
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay is easy to follow and gives a clear, consistently maintained position, supported by developed discussion of communication and access to information. Its main limitation is that it demonstrates the Internet's usefulness more than its superiority to other major inventions, while frequent grammatical and collocational slips reduce precision. The priority is to add explicit comparative reasoning and edit recurring agreement, article, and quantity errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response answers the question with a clear position and develops two substantial, relevant advantages of the Internet.
Justify the claim of greatest importance more convincingly by comparing the Internet's impact with that of another transformative invention.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is organised into a clear introduction, two focused body paragraphs, and a conclusion, with generally smooth progression.
Use less formulaic sequencing and clarify the internal hierarchy of examples so each paragraph advances one central claim.
Lexical Resource
The essay demonstrates a good range of topic vocabulary, though several expressions are imprecise or unnatural, such as "knowledge bank" and "messenger services in offering."
Prioritise accurate collocation and remove malformed or corrupted expressions such as "virtual treasure’s trove."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures is attempted successfully, but noticeable errors in articles, plurals, agreement, and quantity expressions recur throughout.
Edit recurring forms such as "the human race," "any part," "in a matter of seconds," and "a tremendous amount of time."
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IELTS Writing Task 2
There are many inventions in human history, such as the wheel. Some people think the most important thing is the internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.