The widespread use of the internet has brought many problems. What do you think are the main problems associated with the use of the web? What solutions can you suggest?
Sample Response
Technology advances, especially with computers and web, passed many stages to reach many people and become available to everyone including teenagers. However these advances do not come without any cost and disadvantages. Such these advantages could be classified to different degrees in their severity and may affect health and time or could affect people culture and traditions. Generally people, nowadays, browse the web during their free time. This may involve wasting a lot of their valuable time so they become addict to it without thinking seriously about their health. Research shows that people sit for long hours in front of computers monitor could suffer from many health problems such as back pain, dry eyes and other joints injuries. I think the most obvious solution is by reducing the browsing time to the minimum and following a restricted fixed schedule about what to do within aim to achieve specific tasks. Another well-known issue is family based, appears when children and teenager getting to use the web. They could spend many hours in activities like playing online games and browsing unsocial websites. This could lead to bad performance and behavior at school. Furthermore, they may not be able to complete their homework which escalated to not attending school. This problem could be overcome by controlling browsing time and access. For examples, parents could install software such as parental control or implementing access functionality like username and password. Lastly, a familiar problem is facing all business with their employees. They are claiming that most employees who need the internet to do their work spend many hours visiting unnecessary websites and reading unwanted emails. Such as issue could be solved by IT department by installing serves and proxies that limit access and block unwanted emails. To conclude internet is a very useful technology that give many possibilities to people to use at work, school and home which I think personally should not misused or overused. Please
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix number and connector Original: any cost and disadvantages Suggested revision: any costs or disadvantages Why it matters: The plural count nouns require plural forms, and 'or' fits the scope of 'without'.
- 2. Remove faulty determiner Original: Such these advantages Suggested revision: These disadvantages Why it matters: 'Such' cannot precede 'these', and the intended reference is to negative effects.
- 3. Correct classification phrase Original: classified to different degrees in their severity Suggested revision: classified according to their severity Why it matters: Items are classified 'according to' a stated measure.
- 4. Use possessive plural Original: people culture and traditions Suggested revision: people's cultures and traditions Why it matters: The possessive form and plural 'cultures' are required for this general reference.
- 5. Use adjective form Original: addict Suggested revision: addicted Why it matters: The linking verb 'become' requires the adjective 'addicted'.
- 6. Use infinitive pattern Original: solution is by reducing Suggested revision: solution is to reduce Why it matters: The complement after 'the solution is' should use an infinitive.
- 7. Remove redundant modifier Original: restricted fixed schedule Suggested revision: strict schedule Why it matters: 'Restricted' and 'fixed' overlap, while 'strict schedule' conveys the intended limit naturally.
- 8. Clarify schedule purpose Original: about what to do within aim to achieve specific tasks Suggested revision: designed to achieve specific tasks Why it matters: The original prepositional sequence is ungrammatical and obscures the purpose of the schedule.
- 9. Choose intended adjective Original: unsocial Suggested revision: inappropriate Why it matters: 'Unsocial' describes behaviour, whereas the context refers to unsuitable online content.
- 10. Use academic collocation Original: bad Suggested revision: poor Why it matters: 'Poor performance' is the standard formal collocation.
- 11. Correct modal and tense Original: which escalated Suggested revision: which could escalate Why it matters: The modal form expresses the possible future consequence described here.
- 12. Use singular expression Original: examples Suggested revision: example Why it matters: The fixed linking expression uses the singular noun 'example'.
Suggested Rewrites
- any cost and disadvantages any costs or disadvantages
- Such these advantages These disadvantages
- classified to different degrees in their severity classified according to their severity
- people culture and traditions people's cultures and traditions
- addict addicted
- solution is by reducing solution is to reduce
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response covers several relevant internet problems and usually pairs each with a practical solution, giving it a clear underlying line of thought. However, the single-block presentation and frequent grammatical and collocational errors reduce clarity and make some explanations awkward. The highest-priority improvement is to rebuild the essay into focused problem-solution paragraphs using shorter, accurately controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response answers both parts with several relevant problems and corresponding solutions, though some explanations remain general or briefly supported.
Develop each problem-solution pair with a more precise explanation of how the proposed measure would work.
Coherence and Cohesion
The sequence of problem-solution pairs is identifiable, but the entire essay forms one block and some linking is mechanical.
Separate the introduction, each major problem-solution pair, and the conclusion into clearly focused paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient topic vocabulary for health, family, and workplace issues, but frequent misselection, word-form errors, and spelling mistakes reduce precision.
Use familiar topic words accurately and verify collocations and word forms during proofreading.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied and complex structures, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, and clause construction persist throughout.
Rewrite overloaded sentences as shorter clauses and check the subject, verb, and article in each one.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The widespread use of the internet has brought many problems. What do you think are the main problems associated with the use of the web? What solutions can you suggest?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.