Junk food is quite harmful to our generation and we need an educated generation to stop it. Is education the answer to stop people from eating junk food?
Sample Response
Junk food has been claimed to be a major contributor toa fundamental factor to the escalating obesity epidemic around the world. Some argue that educating societyeducating the society is an effective way to addressan optimal solution to alleviate this worldwide issue. However, it is believed that persuading citizens through education is not likely to outweigh the central temptations that junk foods offer – its low price and convenience. This statement will be analysed in the following paragraphs, supported by relevant examples.
Regardless of how education is deliveredthe educational scheme is provided, the low priced meals sold by fast food outlets are not likely to lose theirits popularity. Most of the people on low incomesmembers of the low class or unemployed students, for instance, are inevitably attracted to eating cheap fast food due to their financial difficulties. Thus, unless governments subsidise citizens' living expenses or intervene to forciblyforcedly raise fast food price, education will have a feeble effect on discouraging people from consuming junk food.
In addition, it should be noted that there is no practical substitutesubstitution for junk food which can be prepared and sold quickly. This choice of diet perfectly fulfils modern workers' need to save time in the busy contemporary society. For example, even though my colleagues are aware of the negative aspects of junk food, they still eat atfrom KFC since they simply do not have time to prepare a proper meal. This therefore clearly demonstrates that eradicating junk food consumption through education is not a realistic approach, but merely an action of informing people about what they already know.
In conclusion, although one may think that educating individuals can convince people not to eat fast food, its low price and ability to offer a quick meal will continue to motivatewill continuously motivate them to visit fast food stores.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay answers the question directly and develops a coherent position that education alone cannot overcome junk food’s low price and convenience, supporting both barriers with relevant social and workplace examples. Its strongest aspect is the tight alignment between the thesis, two body paragraphs, and conclusion. The main limitation is occasional awkward or insensitive wording and limited consideration of education’s possible contribution; prioritise acknowledging its supporting role before explaining why economic and practical measures are also necessary.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is sustained and the two central barriers are well explained and exemplified, though the possible partial value of education is not explored.
Concede that education can improve awareness, then show why subsidies, healthier convenience foods, pricing, or access measures are needed to change behaviour.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is strongly organised around price and convenience, with each paragraph advancing one reason and the conclusion synthesising both efficiently.
Make the transition between the two barriers more analytical by signalling that convenience remains influential even when consumers understand the health risks.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and mostly precise across obesity, persuasion, subsidies, convenience, consumption, and financial constraints, but several choices are unnatural.
Use educate the public, low-income people, low-cost meals, compel outlets to raise prices, limited effect, healthier alternative, and buy food from KFC.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are generally controlled and meaning is consistently clear, with occasional agreement, article, adverb, and reference errors.
Correct forms such as a fundamental factor in, educating society, the temptations junk food offers—its low price, meals are unlikely to lose their popularity, and forcibly.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Junk food is quite harmful to our generation and we need an educated generation to stop it. Is education the answer to stop people from eating junk food?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.