The ease of international travel and the spread of various kinds of mass media all over the world have made it more possible than ever for people to know how other people live in other countries. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
Sample Response
InAt recent years, most peoplemost of the people have begun to learn about the culturesstarted to know the cultures of other countries. This trend is causedIt is caused by several factorsmany aspects such as the ongoing growthgrowing in international travel and the continuing diversification of mediathe continuous improvement of variation of media. Inevitably, I believe that this phenomenon is a positive development for the reasons given belowfor several considerations given below.
To begin with, people in all parts of the world will easily get familiar with the ways of life in other countriesother countries' way of life. They will gain knowledgeacknowledgements relating to the variety of cultures, common beliefs, kinds of religions, even mindsets so they can develop wiser perspectivesobtain more wisdom thinking and avoid judging others as simply right or wrongnot to judge others by wrong or right. Moreover, they will understand the geographical conditions and typical rules and laws which are applied as in depth processes of learning other civilisations so they attain a complete condition of surroundings in other parts of the world.
FurthermoreTo end with, the economiceconomy impacts are also undeniable. The aviationflights industry will thrive, the tourism places will be favourable; the providers of a tour guide will be profitable because people are eager to know more about other cultures by staying close to the original places. As athe result, local communities will achieve more income as direct effect and will be aware of socioeconomic purposessocial-economy purposes as well as the need for educational capacities (for example, learning foreign languages, mastering calculations of revenues, etc.) as indirectly long term impacts. ConsequentlyAs consequences, the governments together with city councils should pay more attentionattentions to regulate and stay focus to this economy sector.
To sum up, the advantages of knowing how other people live in other countries are inevitable so stakeholders are supposed to take responsibilities to maximise the result both social and economy benefits.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response is strongest in identifying cultural understanding and local economic growth as benefits of easier travel and global media, with some explanation of how communities may gain. Its main limitation is that it never identifies or analyses any disadvantage, so the claim that benefits outweigh drawbacks is unsupported; persistent awkward grammar and word choice also obscure several points. The highest-priority improvement is to develop a credible drawback and compare its scale directly with the cultural and economic benefits.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Relevant cultural and economic advantages are developed, but no disadvantage is discussed, leaving the required outweigh judgement incomplete.
Add a developed disadvantage such as cultural stereotyping, overtourism, or media distortion and explicitly explain why the benefits remain greater.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a clear paragraph structure and broad progression from cultural to economic benefits, though some transitions are mechanical and internal logic is occasionally difficult to follow.
Use a distinct paragraph for the missing disadvantage and a final comparison paragraph that clearly weighs both sides.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a range of vocabulary about culture, tourism, and economics, but frequent inaccurate choices and collocations reduce precision.
Use natural expressions such as “gain knowledge,” “tourism industry,” “local income,” “socio-economic benefits,” and “long-term effects.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Both simple and complex structures are attempted, but frequent errors in articles, plurals, agreement, word forms, and clause construction weaken clarity.
Build shorter controlled sentences and check noun forms and agreement before combining multiple economic effects in one sentence.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The ease of international travel and the spread of various kinds of mass media all over the world have made it more possible than ever for people to know how other people live in other countries. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.