Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?
Sample Response
Modern people seem like sleeping fewer hours than ever before, and their problems with proper sleeping and rest are becoming more severe over time. Sleep deprivation can cause many health and social problems, and we need to take immediate measures to address this pressing issue.
Among the problems caused by sleeplessness or inconsistent sleeping patterns, health-related problems are imminent. A lack of sleep can be a leading cause of many extreme health issues including high blood pressure, poor heart health, obesity and diabetes. Insomnia not only causes those diseases to develop in our bodies but also accelerates their intensity and detrimental effects. Moreover, sleep deprivation has a psychological toll that worsens our mood and intensifies our depression. When people struggle to sleep properly, they start developing mental issues that can negatively affect their health and well-being. For instance, research shows that seven out of ten mild and moderate mental patients have problems sleeping at night which is often the reason their mental health has deteriorated to such an extent in the first place.
Moreover, sleep deprivation has social consequences. It is scientifically proven that we need sound sleep to function properly and be productive when we are awake. Insomnolence often reduces our performance and makes us erratic in our social relationships. For instance, interesting research published in a health magazine last year reveals that almost eight out of ten people find it difficult to concentrate on their work or engage in meaningful conversations with others who suffer from stress and insomnia.
To address this relatively modern problem, we need to take several initiatives. First, we have to eat our dinner early and do some moderate exercise before we get ready to go to bed. An early meal and exercise are proven to help us sleep faster. Moreover, we can reduce our screen time before we go to sleep. Research shows that if we keep scrolling through posts and videos that fill our social media applications or watch TV programmes hour after hour, we face difficulties getting good sleep.
To conclude, a lack of sleep can cause many negative physical, psychological and social problems. That is why we need to address them effectively by taking measures like eating our dinners early, doing regular exercise and not using any digital device when it is time to fall asleep.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix verb pattern Original: seem like sleeping Suggested revision: seem to be sleeping Why it matters: The verb “seem” takes a to-infinitive rather than “like” followed by a gerund here.
- 2. Use natural sleep phrase Original: proper sleeping and rest Suggested revision: adequate sleep and rest Why it matters: “Adequate sleep” is a more natural and precise phrase for sufficient rest.
- 3. Correct word choice Original: are imminent Suggested revision: are among the most serious Why it matters: “Imminent” means about to happen and does not express the significance of these problems.
- 4. Improve health collocation Original: many extreme health issues including Suggested revision: many serious health issues, including Why it matters: “Serious health issues” is the natural collocation, and the examples require a preceding comma.
- 5. Use severity collocation Original: accelerates their intensity and detrimental effects Suggested revision: increases their severity and harmful effects Why it matters: The revised collocations express more naturally how the diseases become worse.
- 6. Fix toll collocation Original: has Suggested revision: takes Why it matters: The fixed expression is “take a toll,” not “have a toll.”
- 7. Refine depression phrase Original: intensifies our depression Suggested revision: worsens depression Why it matters: The revision is more concise and uses the natural verb associated with a condition becoming more severe.
- 8. Use person-first wording Original: mild and moderate mental patients Suggested revision: people with mild or moderate mental health conditions Why it matters: The revision uses precise, respectful terminology and correctly coordinates the severity categories.
- 9. Add relative-clause comma Original: at night which is often Suggested revision: at night, which is often Why it matters: The explanatory relative clause needs a comma before “which.”
- 10. Use standard term Original: Insomnolence Suggested revision: Insomnia Why it matters: “Insomnia” is the standard and immediately recognizable term for persistent difficulty sleeping.
- 11. Fix sleep collocation Original: sleep faster Suggested revision: fall asleep faster Why it matters: “Fall asleep” describes entering sleep, whereas “sleep faster” is not natural in this context.
- 12. Use precise health term Original: poor heart health Suggested revision: heart disease Why it matters: The revision names the health condition more precisely than the broad phrase “poor heart health.”
Suggested Rewrites
- seem like sleeping seem to be sleeping
- proper sleeping and rest adequate sleep and rest
- are imminent are among the most serious
- many extreme health issues including many serious health issues, including
- accelerates their intensity and detrimental effects increases their severity and harmful effects
- has takes
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response fully addresses both questions through a clear, well-developed account of physical, psychological, and social consequences followed by practical remedies. Its strongest feature is the logical organisation and sustained explanation, while occasional questionable examples and imprecise expressions weaken authority and accuracy. The highest-priority improvement is to use more credible evidence and refine awkward causal claims and collocations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both parts are thoroughly addressed with several relevant consequences and practical solutions that are generally well explained.
Use credible, carefully qualified examples instead of unsupported statistics and overly absolute medical claims.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through clearly focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices guide the reader effectively.
Reduce repeated references to research and sleep deprivation so the progression feels less formulaic.
Lexical Resource
A broad vocabulary conveys detailed ideas, though several collocations and word choices are imprecise or unnatural.
Refine expressions such as "problems are imminent," "accelerates their intensity," and "sleep faster" for natural precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A varied range of complex sentences is used with good control, despite several local construction and reference errors.
Check comparative structures and relative clauses, particularly where pronoun reference could make the intended subject unclear.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.