Some countries have introduced laws to limit working hours for employees. Why are these laws introduced? Do you think they are a positive or negative development?
Sample Response
Rules and regulations are made to maintain law and order. Some countries have introduced guidelines to reduce working hours for personnel. I consider to reduce their stress and maintain work life balance.
At the outset, the Paradigm shift has made people ambitious and in order to earn a lot, individuals sacrifice their leisure time that they usually like to spend with their family. Thus they escalate their stress and do over work and reduced their productivity. Therefore, to relieve their stress, the need of curtailing the working hours is felt. Besides, it becomes a herculean task for them to maintain work life balance. They do not remain cheerful instead they become accustomed to take pills in order to have a sound sleep. In this way, their efficiency gets decreased and this is a great threat to the economy of a company and to make them agile and fertile, setting a limit on working hours is necessary. For instance, it could be seen in developed nations as well as developing ones that the individuals do work on vacations and lead a miserable life. They remain perplexed and gradually the knot of relationships get loose and broken relationship make them depressed and they start to shrink the work and loose their efficiency. So, it is dispensable to let them free early.
Furthermore, it is a negative development because people become money minded and they do not remain outgoing and valuing relationship is no longer needed for them. So, this kind of the trend has adverse effect on the lives of job holders. What’s more, if company is progressing by leaps and bounds, the whole credit goes to its staff. However, if staff is not optimist and shrinking the work then company is unable to make profit and ultimately, country will not progress owing to incapability of entrepreneurs to pay tax on time.
In conclusion, thus it is mandatory to to diminish the working hours for the well-being of its employees as well as for the advancement of a company. Satisfying the needs of personnel, is the first goal of a company and if they were showing remarkable performances in a specific period of time, then introduction of rules is commendable task of the governments.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Match the task term Original: guidelines Suggested revision: laws Why it matters: 'Laws' accurately names the binding measures discussed in the task.
- 2. Fix capitalization Original: Paradigm Suggested revision: paradigm Why it matters: A common noun phrase should not be capitalized mid-sentence.
- 3. Use natural collocation Original: escalate Suggested revision: increase Why it matters: People can increase their stress, whereas 'escalate' is not natural in this construction.
- 4. Use correct verb Original: do over work Suggested revision: overwork Why it matters: 'Overwork' is the single verb needed for working excessively.
- 5. Keep tense consistent Original: reduced Suggested revision: reduce Why it matters: The coordinated verbs describe a general present-time result and need matching tense.
- 6. Fix complement pattern Original: the need of curtailing Suggested revision: the need to curtail Why it matters: The noun 'need' is naturally followed by a to-infinitive here.
- 7. Use active verb Original: gets decreased Suggested revision: decreases Why it matters: The intransitive active verb is the correct form for a reduction in efficiency.
- 8. Choose appropriate adjective Original: agile and fertile Suggested revision: productive Why it matters: 'Fertile' does not appropriately describe employees' work performance in this context.
- 9. Remove unnecessary words Original: the individuals do work Suggested revision: individuals work Why it matters: The general statement needs neither the article nor emphatic 'do'.
- 10. Clarify relationship effect Original: the knot of relationships get loose Suggested revision: relationships weaken Why it matters: The concise revision conveys the intended deterioration without an unclear metaphor.
- 11. Fix number agreement Original: relationship Suggested revision: relationships Why it matters: The general reference needs the plural noun to agree with 'make'.
- 12. Clarify intended action Original: shrink the work Suggested revision: withdraw from work Why it matters: 'Withdraw from work' conveys reduced engagement more clearly than 'shrink the work'.
Suggested Rewrites
- guidelines laws
- Paradigm paradigm
- escalate increase
- do over work overwork
- reduced reduce
- the need of curtailing the need to curtail
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response gives sustained reasons for limiting working hours, especially employee stress, family life, and productivity. However, its judgment is contradictory because it labels the policy negative while repeatedly presenting it as necessary and commendable, and language errors sometimes distort meaning; the priority is to state one consistent evaluation and organise two distinct, clearly explained reasons around it.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Relevant reasons are discussed at length, but the stated negative judgment conflicts with the argument and conclusion supporting the laws.
Choose a clear positive or negative position and ensure every evaluative paragraph directly supports that judgment.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has an identifiable introduction, body, and conclusion, but the first body paragraph is overextended and progression becomes repetitive or unclear.
Divide the reasoning into focused paragraphs with one main cause or effect developed in each.
Lexical Resource
The writer attempts a broad vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate word choice and collocations sometimes obscure the intended point.
Prefer familiar precise wording and check the meaning of ambitious expressions before using them.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Some complex forms are attempted, yet frequent errors in agreement, tense, articles, clause control, and sentence boundaries reduce clarity.
Use shorter controlled sentences and check each for a complete clause, consistent tense, and correct subject-verb agreement.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some countries have introduced laws to limit working hours for employees. Why are these laws introduced? Do you think they are a positive or negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.