Some think that students must travel to another country in order to learn its language and customs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Some people believe that in order for students to learn a new language or culture, they must move to another country. I partially agree with this opinion, since although I believe that going to a country allows individuals to submerge themselves in that culture, it is still possible to read about languages and cultures through the internet or talking to people from a certain country.
It could be said that given the ease of access to information today mediated by the internet, it is actually possible for individuals to learn about another country’s history and language purely through sitting at home. Furthermore, given the interconnected nature of today’s countries, it is likely that people would be able to find immigrants from the country whose language they are trying to learn. For instance, there have been many cases of polyglots such as Tim Doner being able to speak as many as twenty languages purely through speaking to people around the US.
However, it might also be contended that to fully understand the richness and nuances of a country’s language and culture, it would be worthwhile to travel to that country. This is because although the internet is a useful tool, the subtlety of human interactions might not be conveyed through online pictures and videos alone. Furthermore, immigrants in other countries might also not speak the same version of the language from their host country. For instance, it is often the case that the textbook version of a language, which one might be able to learn from the internet, is very different to how normal people speak, with slang words and other cultural references. Therefore, to appreciate the latter, a change of location is warranted.
Overall, therefore, I argue that while it is possible to learn a language and customs to an adequate amount, to fully appreciate and deeply understand, students should travel to the country they are trying to examine.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural collocation Original: submerge Suggested revision: immerse Why it matters: The verb 'immerse' is the standard collocation for deep engagement with a culture.
- 2. Make forms parallel Original: through the internet or talking Suggested revision: by using the internet or by talking Why it matters: Parallel gerund phrases make the two learning methods grammatically consistent.
- 3. Clarify the modifier Original: today mediated by the internet Suggested revision: today, largely through the internet, Why it matters: The revision clearly attaches the internet phrase to access to information.
- 4. Choose precise noun Original: countries Suggested revision: world Why it matters: 'World' expresses global interconnectedness more naturally than 'countries' here.
- 5. Clarify the comparison Original: same version of the language from their host country Suggested revision: same variety of the language as people in their home country Why it matters: This wording makes both sides of the language comparison explicit.
- 6. Fix comparison form Original: different to how normal people speak Suggested revision: different from the way ordinary people speak Why it matters: 'Different from the way' forms a standard grammatical comparison.
- 7. Clarify the reference Original: to appreciate the latter Suggested revision: to appreciate these informal features Why it matters: The explicit noun phrase removes uncertainty about what 'the latter' refers to.
- 8. State the action directly Original: a change of location is warranted Suggested revision: travelling to the country is worthwhile Why it matters: The revision expresses the intended travel recommendation more directly.
- 9. Add possessive link Original: a language and customs Suggested revision: a language and its associated customs Why it matters: The possessive determiner clearly links the customs to the language's country.
- 10. Use level collocation Original: amount Suggested revision: level Why it matters: Language proficiency and cultural knowledge are described in terms of a level rather than an amount.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: For instance, there have been many cases of polyglots such as Tim Doner being able to speak as many as twenty languages purely through speaking to people around the US. Suggested revision: For instance, polyglots such as Tim Doner have reportedly been able to speak as many as twenty languages by speaking to people around the US. Why it matters: The rewrite removes the awkward 'cases of ... being able' construction while preserving the example.
Suggested Rewrites
- submerge immerse
- through the internet or talking by using the internet or by talking
- today mediated by the internet today, largely through the internet,
- countries world
- same version of the language from their host country same variety of the language as people in their home country
- different to how normal people speak different from the way ordinary people speak
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response presents a clear, nuanced position and develops both sides with relevant reasoning and a concrete example. Its main limitation is occasional imprecision in claims and phrasing, especially where distinctions between online learning, immigrant speech, and immersion could be sharper. Prioritise making each supporting point more exact and directly tied to the degree of agreement, while replacing awkward collocations with more natural academic wording.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response fully addresses the question through a clear partial-agreement position and well-developed arguments on both alternatives.
Make the degree of agreement even more precise by explicitly weighing how far travel improves learning beyond what remote methods can achieve.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through clearly focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices generally guide the contrast without drawing attention to themselves.
Reduce the repeated use of framing devices such as furthermore and although where the relationship between sentences is already evident.
Lexical Resource
A wide and flexible vocabulary supports precise discussion, though several collocations and word choices are awkward or slightly inaccurate.
Replace expressions such as submerge themselves and to an adequate amount with natural academic collocations that convey the intended meaning exactly.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used with strong control, and the few errors do not impede communication.
Polish parallel structures and elliptical clauses, particularly in the introduction and conclusion, so every complex sentence remains fully balanced.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some think that students must travel to another country in order to learn its language and customs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.