Some people believe that the best way of learning about life is by listening to the advice of family and friends. Other people believe that the best way of learning about life is through personal experience. Compare the advantages of these two different ways of learning about life. Which do you think is preferable?
Sample Response
From my everyday experience and observation, I can stand that the best way of learning about life is through personal experience. However, some people think that it is wiser to learn about life through listening to the advice of family and friends. It does not mean I totally disagree with this way of learning. Moreover, I think that it is wise for a person to take an intermediate position because each of these ways has its own advantages. Bellow, I will give my reasons to support my point of view.
On the one side, learning through one’s personal experience brings many benefits. First of all, scientists say that personal experience has a greater impact on a person. I have to agree with this. Take, for example, children. They will not believe their parents that something can hurt them until they try it and make sure of it. Furthermore, most likely, they will remember this experience longer. Second of all, people learn how to analyze their mistakes, make conclusions and next time try to avoid them. So, I think it is a great experience that makes people stronger, more self-confident and persistent. They gain more knowledge and experience that will be very helpful and valuable in the future.
On the other side, listening to the advice of family and friends brings many benefits too. Parents with great patience pass down their knowledge and experience to their children. They teach them all they know, and they want their children not to make the same mistakes. In addition to those practical benefits, learning from someone’s advice is painless. For example, parents nowadays very often talk to their children about drugs. I think it is a great example of when one should not try drugs in order to gain new experience. I think it is a case when children must trust their parents.
To sum up, I think it is wise to combine both of these ways to learn and try to analyze personal mistakes as well as not personal. I think together; they can greatly simplify one’s life and make the way to success shorter.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural stance Original: I can stand that Suggested revision: I believe that Why it matters: The original phrase does not naturally express an opinion in this context.
- 2. Correct preposition Original: through Suggested revision: by Why it matters: Use “by” to introduce the method of learning.
- 3. Correct spelling Original: Bellow Suggested revision: Below Why it matters: “Bellow” is a different word; the intended adverb is “Below.”
- 4. Use paired linker Original: side Suggested revision: hand Why it matters: The conventional contrastive pair is “on the one hand” and “on the other hand.”
- 5. Fix reporting structure Original: believe their parents that Suggested revision: believe their parents when they say that Why it matters: “Believe” cannot take a person followed directly by a that-clause in this meaning.
- 6. Clarify the action Original: make sure of it Suggested revision: confirm it for themselves Why it matters: This wording states more precisely how direct experience confirms the warning.
- 7. Use formal sequencer Original: Second of all Suggested revision: Secondly Why it matters: “Secondly” is a more concise formal link between supporting points.
- 8. Fix collocation Original: make Suggested revision: draw Why it matters: Standard English uses the collocation “draw conclusions.”
- 9. Fix word order Original: and next time try to avoid them Suggested revision: and try to avoid them next time Why it matters: Placing the time phrase at the end creates natural English word order.
- 10. Avoid vague wording Original: it is a great experience Suggested revision: this is valuable learning Why it matters: The revision refers clearly to learning from mistakes rather than an unspecified experience.
- 11. Complete linker pair Original: side Suggested revision: hand Why it matters: This is the standard linker for introducing the contrasting perspective.
- 12. Improve adverb position Original: brings many benefits too Suggested revision: also brings many benefits Why it matters: Placing “also” before the main verb is more natural in formal prose.
Suggested Rewrites
- I can stand that I believe that
- through by
- Bellow Below
- side hand
- believe their parents that believe their parents when they say that
- make sure of it confirm it for themselves
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response’s strongest feature is its clear, balanced comparison, with relevant explanations and examples for learning through experience and through advice. Its main limitation is imprecise language and an initially shifting preference, although the conclusion ultimately makes the combined position clear. The highest-priority improvement is to state that nuanced position consistently from the introduction and express supporting points with more natural, precise phrasing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both methods are compared through relevant, developed advantages, and the conclusion gives a clear qualified preference for combining them.
State the combined preference consistently from the introduction and deepen the comparison between the two methods.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through distinct viewpoints, with clear paragraphing and generally effective linking.
Use a less formulaic range of transitions and connect comparisons more directly across the two body paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied for the topic, but several inaccurate choices and collocations reduce precision.
Replace awkward expressions such as “make conclusions” and “not personal” with natural, context-specific wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A useful range of sentence forms is attempted, and meaning remains clear despite recurring errors in structures and punctuation.
Improve control of verb complements, pronoun reference, and clause punctuation in complex sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that the best way of learning about life is by listening to the advice of family and friends. Other people believe that the best way of learning about life is through personal experience. Compare the advantages of these two different ways of learning about life. Which do you think is preferable?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.