The older you get, life becomes more complicated. Discuss.
Sample Response
Ageing is a natural process happening to everyone. However, the bone of contention here is whether the life becomes easier or difficult as years pass by. In my opinion, though life seems to be challenging as we grow old, we could make it happier by making use our cognitive progression in our adult life. On the one side, most people are of opinion that year after year, our lives get complicated. According to them, during our teenage and adolescence period, we are not carried away by worries related to family, finance and responsibilities, but as we grow older, issues like fetching a job, earning, saving, looking after our parents and children become a millstone on our shoulders. Another significant reason cited for why ageing is problematic is the age-related disorders causing physical ailments like knee and joint pains, eye problems and indigestion. On the flip side, some people believe that ageing makes life more fruitful. They are inclined to a strong point that a man gets moulded at every stage of life and it is an essential improvement. Being immature and without worries doesn’t actually define happiness, they claim. Rather, every individual could use their natural boons such as intelligent quotient and emotional quotient as an aid to tactically solve the hurdles on their way. For instance, while we have a headache or fever, we might not know what to do during our younger ages but as we grow old we learn to take antibiotics or go to a physician. In the same way, every issue could be sorted out by everyone and life could be made happier. The freedom of decision making is a big difference in childhood and grownup time. When you grow older, you become the earning member and thus you have more freedom to take decisions. On the contrary, in childhood we rely on our parents earning and hence they take most of our decision and obliged us to follow their wish. To conclude, the older we become, the happier we are by exploring the world and by taking up responsibilities and this is facilitated by the maturity factor of ageing. So, we need to move on with life happily.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove article Original: the life becomes Suggested revision: life becomes Why it matters: Life is used generally here and does not take the definite article.
- 2. Use parallel comparison Original: easier or difficult Suggested revision: easier or more difficult Why it matters: Both alternatives need comparative forms for a parallel contrast.
- 3. Add required preposition Original: making use our Suggested revision: making use of our Why it matters: The fixed expression is make use of something.
- 4. Use natural collocation Original: progression Suggested revision: development Why it matters: Cognitive development is the conventional term for the intended growth in mental ability.
- 5. Correct contrast linker Original: side Suggested revision: hand Why it matters: On the one hand is the standard linker paired with a contrasting viewpoint.
- 6. Add definite article Original: are of opinion Suggested revision: are of the opinion Why it matters: The expression requires the definite article before opinion.
- 7. Use natural age terms Original: teenage and adolescence period Suggested revision: teenage years and adolescence Why it matters: The original phrase combines overlapping age nouns with an unnatural singular period.
- 8. Correct collocation Original: fetching Suggested revision: finding Why it matters: Finding a job is the natural collocation for obtaining employment.
- 9. Repair noun agreement Original: is the age-related disorders causing Suggested revision: is the occurrence of age-related disorders causing Why it matters: The singular complement now agrees with is while retaining disorders as a plural noun.
- 10. Express belief naturally Original: They are inclined to a strong point Suggested revision: They strongly believe Why it matters: The original wording is not an idiomatic way to introduce a firmly held view.
- 11. Use precise noun Original: boons Suggested revision: abilities Why it matters: Abilities conveys the intended personal capacities more naturally than boons.
- 12. Correct term Original: intelligent Suggested revision: intelligence Why it matters: Intelligence quotient is the established term.
Suggested Rewrites
- the life becomes life becomes
- easier or difficult easier or more difficult
- making use our making use of our
- progression development
- side hand
- are of opinion are of the opinion
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay presents a clear, nuanced view that ageing brings greater responsibilities and health problems but can also increase maturity, independence, and problem-solving ability. Its strongest feature is the range of relevant perspectives; however, frequent awkward collocations and grammatical errors reduce precision, and the entire response lacks paragraph breaks. The priority is to group the contrasting sides into clear paragraphs and express each example in simpler, more idiomatic language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The discussion covers both increasing complications and the advantages of maturity, with a clear final view that later life can be happier.
Use a more credible example of mature problem-solving and explain directly how it offsets the burdens of health, work, and family.
Coherence and Cohesion
The contrast between burdens and benefits is easy to follow, but the one-block presentation and mechanical signposting limit cohesion.
Separate the introduction, complications, benefits, independence example, and conclusion into focused paragraphs with clear topic sentences.
Lexical Resource
A broad range of vocabulary is attempted, but frequent unnatural combinations and word choices reduce accuracy and clarity.
Replace phrases such as 'fetching a job', 'natural boons', and 'grownup time' with simple, idiomatic alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Both simple and complex sentences are used, although article, preposition, agreement, possessive, and tense errors recur.
Proofread noun phrases and verb forms carefully, especially structures such as 'make use of', 'parents' earnings', and 'decisions'.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The older you get, life becomes more complicated. Discuss.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.