People today find their lives more and more dominated by their jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Sample Response
It is certainly true that many people around the world find their lives dominated by the work that they have to do. This is shown when you realise how people’s work, and how much time, effort and resources they devote to it, is often the subject of conversation.
Most people depend on their jobs to generate an income to pay for their lives’ necessities and luxuries, and so work can naturally become a dominating focus. As this is an important part of nearly everyone’s everyday life, it can seem that people’s lives are indeed becoming more influenced by their jobs. Whether this emphasis on work is more significant now than in previous years is debatable. In many developed countries around the world, there are procedures in place to help people with finding work, providing unemployment benefits, ensuring education, and offering pension payments. In times past, these provisions were not in place and a job or business was required to provide the necessary income.
Therefore, in spite of increases in the cost of living in many places around the world, it can be argued there is actually less pressure than in previous years to keep one’s job and perform well at it. This, in turn, would lead to people’s lives being less influenced by their jobs today. It is also true that in the past, people were as responsible and focused on doing well in their responsibilities as today and so, in this respect, the people of the past would be equally dedicated to their work as people are today.
While I agree that people’s lives today are often dominated by their jobs, I feel that the current situation is not necessarily worse than before. In fact, it may be more positive, due to the fewer pressures to earn money in many countries.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Simplify the phrase Original: their lives’ necessities and luxuries Suggested revision: their necessities and luxuries Why it matters: The possessive phrase is unnecessarily awkward because necessities and luxuries already refer to what people need or want.
- 2. Use correct collocation Original: dominating Suggested revision: dominant Why it matters: The adjective dominant is the natural choice for describing a main focus.
- 3. Use direct infinitive Original: help people with finding work Suggested revision: help people find work Why it matters: Help is more naturally followed by the object and bare infinitive here.
- 4. Clarify the provision Original: ensuring education Suggested revision: providing access to education Why it matters: This wording states more precisely what the public provision offers.
- 5. Use natural phrasing Original: times Suggested revision: the Why it matters: The shorter expression is more idiomatic in formal prose.
- 6. Add the connector Original: it can be argued there is Suggested revision: it can be argued that there is Why it matters: The reporting clause requires that before the following proposition.
- 7. Improve time comparison Original: less pressure than in previous years Suggested revision: less pressure than there was in previous years Why it matters: Adding there was makes the comparison between present and past pressure explicit.
- 8. Avoid word repetition Original: responsible and focused on doing well in their responsibilities Suggested revision: responsible and focused on fulfilling their duties Why it matters: The revision removes the distracting repetition of responsible and responsibilities.
- 9. Complete the comparison Original: as today and so Suggested revision: as people are today, and so Why it matters: The comparison needs an explicit subject and verb, while the comma separates the linked clauses.
- 10. Use uncountable pressure Original: the fewer pressures Suggested revision: reduced pressure Why it matters: Pressure is uncountable in this general sense, so fewer is unsuitable.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: This is shown when you realise how people’s work, and how much time, effort and resources they devote to it, is often the subject of conversation. Suggested revision: This is evident from how often people discuss their work and the time, effort and resources they devote to it. Why it matters: The original has a cumbersome nested subject and faulty agreement with is.
Suggested Rewrites
- their lives’ necessities and luxuries their necessities and luxuries
- dominating dominant
- help people with finding work help people find work
- ensuring education providing access to education
- times the
- it can be argued there is it can be argued that there is
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response’s strongest feature is its clear, nuanced position: work dominates many lives, yet this may not represent an increase over the past. The reasoning progresses logically and is expressed with strong control, although claims about welfare provision and reduced financial pressure remain broad rather than firmly illustrated. The highest-priority improvement is to support the historical comparison with a more specific, convincing example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly addresses the extent question with a clear qualified position and relevant, well-developed reasoning.
Strengthen the central comparison by adding a specific example showing how work-related pressure differs between past and present.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a clear argument, and paragraphing and referencing are handled effectively.
Make the transition from present-day support systems to the historical comparison slightly more explicit and economical.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary supports the argument, with only occasional awkward collocations or repetition.
Refine phrases such as references to responsibilities and financial pressure so that the wording is more idiomatic and exact.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a broad range of complex structures accurately, with only minor lapses that do not impede meaning.
Polish a few compressed comparative structures and omitted linking words to achieve consistently natural sentence construction.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
People today find their lives more and more dominated by their jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.