It is becoming more and more difficult to escape the influence of the media on our lives. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in a media rich society.
Sample Response
Usages and influence of media in our life and society have dramatically increased around the globe over the last few years. It has become a mandatory part of people’s lives as media are everywhere. Youngsters are mostly influenced by media because of its numerous benefits. People of other age groups are also influenced by the media. They are using this in the form of newspapers, television, radio and internet to avail maximum advantages such as information dissemination, entertainment and latest updates of various promotions etc. However, the increasing use of media has some detrimental effects on the society. There is no doubt that media play a pivotal role in learning. A large number of people are using electronic media to complete their education assignment and projects, for instance, YouTube has a large volume of lectures in the form of videos to assist thousands of viewers. Moreover, media has a diversity of programs to entertain its target audience. It also helps them to increase their knowledge about current issues worldwide. Media often increase our awareness and inform about things that are happening around us. Thus it is a great tool to bring people together. However, media has also increased people’s woes. In order to increase rating, they are more opted to portray negative news and bad aspects of society that made people tense and increased their worries. Furthermore, people are less perceptive to physical activities because they do not want to skip their favourite television show and thus they become lethargic that makes them susceptible to illness such as laziness, obesity and anxiety. Political biasness, monetary gaining and vengeance are often practices in some media and that has very detrimental effects on our society. To sum up, I would like to say media has more advantages that outweigh its disadvantages. Media make people independent and give them freedom to raise their voice against corrupt perpetrator residing in government and private institutions. However, students are more diverted to other issues highlighted by media than their focal point, which is education.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use correct noun Original: Usages Suggested revision: The use Why it matters: Use is normally uncountable when referring generally to how media are employed.
- 2. Use plural lives Original: life Suggested revision: lives Why it matters: The plural possessive our requires lives when referring to people's individual lives.
- 3. Fix pronoun agreement Original: its numerous benefits Suggested revision: the numerous benefits they offer Why it matters: The plural noun media requires a plural reference rather than its.
- 4. Clarify both pronouns Original: They are using this Suggested revision: They use media Why it matters: This has no clear singular referent and the progressive tense is unnecessary.
- 5. Add the article Original: internet Suggested revision: the internet Why it matters: Internet normally takes the definite article in this list of media channels.
- 6. Fix word combination Original: to avail maximum advantages Suggested revision: to gain maximum benefit Why it matters: Avail advantages is not a natural English collocation.
- 7. Clarify the example Original: latest updates of various promotions etc. Suggested revision: the latest information about promotions Why it matters: The revision uses the correct preposition and removes the vague abbreviation.
- 8. Fix noun forms Original: their education assignment and projects Suggested revision: their educational assignments and projects Why it matters: Educational is the required adjective and assignments should be plural alongside projects.
- 9. Fix comma splice Original: , for instance, Suggested revision: . For instance, Why it matters: A full stop is needed because the example introduces a new independent sentence.
- 10. Use countable quantity Original: volume Suggested revision: number Why it matters: Lectures are countable, so number is the appropriate quantity noun.
- 11. Fix agreement and wording Original: media has a diversity of programs Suggested revision: media offer a variety of programmes Why it matters: The plural noun media takes offer, and a variety of is the natural expression.
- 12. Clarify the references Original: It also helps them Suggested revision: Media also help people Why it matters: Both pronouns have unclear antecedents in the surrounding discussion.
Suggested Rewrites
- Usages The use
- life lives
- its numerous benefits the numerous benefits they offer
- They are using this They use media
- internet the internet
- to avail maximum advantages to gain maximum benefit
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response covers both benefits and drawbacks and offers a clear comparative conclusion, with relevant points on education, awareness, negative news, and inactivity. Its main limitation is weak control of organisation and language: the entire essay forms one paragraph, while frequent awkward collocations and agreement errors reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to separate the discussion into purposeful paragraphs and edit each sentence for natural word choice and grammatical agreement.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both advantages and disadvantages are discussed and a clear conclusion is given, but several ideas remain general or are introduced late without sufficient explanation.
Develop fewer points with clear cause-and-effect support, and ensure the conclusion synthesises rather than adds ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
The advantages and disadvantages follow an understandable overall progression, but the absence of paragraphing and some mechanical linking weaken organisation.
Use separate introduction, advantages, disadvantages, and conclusion paragraphs, each with a clear controlling idea.
Lexical Resource
The response shows adequate topic vocabulary and some less common expressions, but recurring word-form and collocation errors reduce naturalness and precision.
Replace awkward combinations such as more opted, less perceptive to physical activities, and monetary gaining with standard collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the main ideas, though frequent agreement, article, plural, and clause-control errors remain noticeable.
Edit systematically for subject-verb agreement, noun forms, articles, and sentence boundaries before adding more complex structures.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
It is becoming more and more difficult to escape the influence of the media on our lives. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in a media rich society.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.