A person you know is planning to move to your town or city. What do you think this person would like and dislike about living in your town or city? Give details and reasons for your answer.
Sample Response
I am from Saint-Petersburg, Russia. It is a very beautiful city that attracts many people every year. My close friend is going to move here after her graduation. She already found a job and she asked me to help her with an apartment. Knowing her very well I think I can enumerate the majority of things she will like and dislike about my city. First of all, I believe she will like a huge amount of museums, theatres, movie theatres, etc. My friend is from a small town, so, she can not enjoy all these benefits at her native town. Secondly, it seems to me that she will like the way people live here. The pace of life is much faster here than in a small town. People are always in a hurry, they try to catch a bus, and then they run to the nearest subway station, go to an office, meet new people, etc. Also, I think my friend will like people here. They are very friendly and ready to offer a help to those in need. She will also like the huge garden in front of the parliament house and the people who come to visit there. We have some attractive rivers here and I’m sure she will enjoy the calm environment and sweet breeze of these rivers. Finally, I’m planning to take her to a nearby restaurant that serves lots of uncommon and delicious foods. Unfortunately, my friend will not surely like some things. As a result of a huge amount of cars and factories, the air is polluted here. One more thing she will definitely not like is the weather. It is quite humid here. However, I think she will also like the public transport here. The bus services are run by the Government and it is quite regular. If one in a hurry he can take a taxi, which also is quite cheap and provide a good transport. In conclusion, I believe that in spite of all mentioned above disadvantages she will like this city.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use a finite clause Original: after her graduation Suggested revision: after she graduates Why it matters: A finite time clause sounds more natural for this future event.
- 2. Use present perfect Original: already found a job Suggested revision: has already found a job Why it matters: The present perfect links the completed job search to the current situation.
- 3. Add introductory comma Original: Knowing her very well I think Suggested revision: Knowing her very well, I think Why it matters: A comma should separate the introductory participial phrase from the main clause.
- 4. Use natural phrasing Original: enumerate the majority of things Suggested revision: list most of the things Why it matters: This phrase expresses the idea more naturally and directly.
- 5. Use count noun quantifier Original: amount Suggested revision: number Why it matters: Use number rather than amount with the countable noun museums.
- 6. Fix comma and form Original: so, she can not Suggested revision: so she cannot Why it matters: A comma is unnecessary after so, and cannot is normally written as one word.
- 7. Use correct collocation Original: at her native town Suggested revision: in her hometown Why it matters: In her hometown is the natural expression for this meaning.
- 8. Remove the article Original: offer a help Suggested revision: offer help Why it matters: Help is uncountable in this expression and does not take an article.
- 9. Use clearer noun Original: house Suggested revision: building Why it matters: Parliament building is a clearer general term for the location described.
- 10. Use natural description Original: attractive Suggested revision: beautiful Why it matters: Beautiful is a more natural adjective for scenic rivers.
- 11. Improve collocation Original: sweet breeze Suggested revision: pleasant breezes Why it matters: Pleasant breezes is a more natural collocation in this context.
- 12. Use precise noun Original: foods Suggested revision: dishes Why it matters: Dishes is more precise when referring to items served by a restaurant.
Suggested Rewrites
- after her graduation after she graduates
- already found a job has already found a job
- Knowing her very well I think Knowing her very well, I think
- enumerate the majority of things list most of the things
- amount number
- so, she can not so she cannot
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response gives a clear personal perspective and supplies a broad range of relevant attractions and drawbacks, with the likes especially well illustrated. Its main limitation is uneven development: the disadvantages receive brief treatment, while several positive points are listed rather than fully explained. The highest priority is to organise the ideas into focused paragraphs and develop each major point with a specific reason or consequence.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both what the friend would like and dislike, although the positive side is substantially more developed.
Expand each main disadvantage with a reason and likely effect on the friend instead of relying on a short list.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas generally progress logically through sequenced points, but the body is presented as one long paragraph and the transport point interrupts the disadvantages section.
Group related likes and dislikes into separate body paragraphs and place each supporting detail with its controlling idea.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient vocabulary to describe city life and personal preferences, but several collocations are awkward or inaccurate.
Use more natural combinations such as 'a wide range of museums,' 'in her hometown,' and 'offer help.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses both simple and complex structures, though recurring article, agreement, and clause errors reduce accuracy.
Proofread sentences for missing verbs and articles, subject-verb agreement, and complete conditional structures.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
A person you know is planning to move to your town or city. What do you think this person would like and dislike about living in your town or city? Give details and reasons for your answer.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.