In the future, it will become more difficult to live on Earth, so more money should be spent researching how to live on other planets such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Initially, it is totally true that we are living in an age which starving with leading issues. Primarily after this pandemic situation, people are totally distracted with their life. Many of them lost their lives, a few of them lost their savings, and others lost their employment. In totality, people are facing a drastic situation that was not faced earlier in their life. Researchers may invent remedies in the form of vaccination till an absolute adequate solution is not available. Apart from this, inflation, economic crisis other natural disasters are also rigorous problems for individuals. Last but not least, our natural resources are limited, and there was no immediate alternative for the same.
On the other hand, spending money for research studies for another planet is a Himalayan task. Only humongous investors or materialists can only afford its cost. Still, scientists were on the track of confusion that is humans are able to live in outer space. For surviving on other planets, we required advantageous facilities which are error-free. In addition, we required a mammoth investment for infrastructure, automotive, and health care. Still, there is no security for humans can survive on other planets.
In my opinion, humans should find a practical solution to overcome these situations. Government officials should take initiation for human welfare.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural transition Original: In totality Suggested revision: Overall Why it matters: 'Overall' is the standard transition for summarising the preceding examples.
- 2. Improve word choice Original: drastic Suggested revision: dire Why it matters: 'Dire' describes a severely difficult situation more naturally here.
- 3. Correct tense and agreement Original: was not faced earlier in their life Suggested revision: they had not faced before in their lives Why it matters: The clause needs an explicit subject, past perfect tense, and plural agreement.
- 4. Complete coordinated list Original: inflation, economic crisis other natural disasters Suggested revision: inflation, economic crises, and other natural disasters Why it matters: The list requires a conjunction and the countable noun 'crisis' should be plural.
- 5. Correct collocation Original: rigorous Suggested revision: serious Why it matters: 'Rigorous' describes thorough methods or standards, not severe problems.
- 6. Keep present tense Original: was Suggested revision: is Why it matters: The claim describes the present situation, so the present tense is required.
- 7. Use precise prepositions Original: spending money for research studies for another planet Suggested revision: spending money on research into life on another planet Why it matters: Money is spent 'on' research, and the research concerns living on another planet.
- 8. Clarify who can pay Original: Only humongous investors or materialists Suggested revision: Only wealthy investors Why it matters: 'Humongous' and 'materialists' do not accurately describe people with sufficient funds.
- 9. Remove duplicated limiter Original: can only afford Suggested revision: can afford Why it matters: 'Only' already limits the subject, so a second 'only' creates an unintended restriction.
- 10. Use concise phrasing Original: were on the track of confusion Suggested revision: remain uncertain Why it matters: The original expression is not idiomatic English.
- 11. Use purpose infinitive Original: For surviving Suggested revision: To survive Why it matters: An infinitive is the natural form for expressing purpose here.
- 12. Correct tense and wording Original: we required advantageous facilities Suggested revision: we require suitable facilities Why it matters: The claim is current, and 'suitable' conveys that the facilities must support survival.
Suggested Rewrites
- In totality Overall
- drastic dire
- was not faced earlier in their life they had not faced before in their lives
- inflation, economic crisis other natural disasters inflation, economic crises, and other natural disasters
- rigorous serious
- was is
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response offers a recognizable line of discussion, especially when identifying the expense and uncertainty of living on other planets. However, it is under length, devotes substantial space to loosely relevant current problems, and never states a clear degree of agreement; the highest priority is to give an explicit position and develop two directly relevant reasons about whether space-living research deserves more funding.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response mentions difficulties on Earth and objections to planetary research, but it does not clearly answer the extent question and remains underdeveloped and under length.
State a clear degree of agreement in the introduction and support it with two fully developed, directly relevant reasons.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing provides a basic sequence, but progression is weak because the opening discussion is diffuse and the contrast signalled by the second paragraph is not clearly established.
Give each body paragraph one explicit controlling idea and link it directly to the funding question.
Lexical Resource
There is some topic-related range, but frequent inaccurate or unnatural word choices make several statements strained and occasionally difficult to interpret.
Use familiar precise vocabulary and learn natural collocations for social problems, research costs, and human survival.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Some complex forms are attempted, but frequent errors in clause construction, tense, agreement, articles, and prepositions reduce control.
Build accurate complete clauses first, then combine them with controlled subordinating and coordinating structures.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In the future, it will become more difficult to live on Earth, so more money should be spent researching how to live on other planets such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.