Some people prefer to provide help and support directly to those in the local community who need it. Others, however, prefer to give money to national and international charitable organisations. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
“To have enough to share; to know the joy of giving; to thrill with all the sweets of life – is living”. Helping others is a very virtuous thing. There are basically two ways to help. One is by offering support to those around you who need your help and the second is through national and international charitable organisations. In this essay I intend to delve into the benefits of both approaches.
There are many advantages of direct help. Firstly, a person remains directly in touch with the needy. You can see how your money is being used. There are no mediators and so there are no chances of corruption. It has been well said that charity begins at home. Naturally, if you help those around you, the people in your locality love and respect you and you enjoy a better status in life.
There are also many advantages of helping through national and international organisations. You can work on a larger platform and provide help for global issues. A larger platform is a must if you have a lot to offer in charity. Help activities can be better spread through a larger network. You feel part of a global village. Help need not be always in the form of money. It can be in the form of services also. For example, if you are a doctor, you can provide medical aid and if you are a teacher, you can volunteer to teach in the under- developed nations.
Help in any form is good. The condition of one’s country could influence your way of helping. If you belong to a developed country, where even the poorest of the poor has the basic amenities of life, it would be better to help through national and international charitable organisations but if you belong to a developing or underdeveloped country and have the resources to help, then it would be better to help those around you.
To put it in a nutshell, I pen down saying that it is human nature to help those who need it. Providing direct help and making donations through charitable organisations are just two different ways of achieving the same goal.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Place quotation mark correctly Original: living”. Suggested revision: living.” Why it matters: In this punctuation style, the full stop belongs inside the closing quotation mark.
- 2. Use precise noun Original: very virtuous thing Suggested revision: virtuous act Why it matters: Act is more precise and appropriately formal than thing.
- 3. Use concise signposting Original: In this essay I intend to delve into Suggested revision: This essay examines Why it matters: The revision removes an unnecessarily wordy and formulaic phrase.
- 4. Use gerund complement Original: advantages of direct help Suggested revision: advantages of providing direct help Why it matters: Providing creates a clearer grammatical link between advantages and the action.
- 5. Use respectful phrasing Original: the needy Suggested revision: people in need Why it matters: People in need is clearer and avoids defining people solely by their circumstances.
- 6. Clarify social meaning Original: better status in life Suggested revision: better standing in the community Why it matters: Standing in the community precisely expresses the local respect described.
- 7. Use natural collocation Original: provide help for global issues Suggested revision: address global issues Why it matters: English normally uses address rather than provide help for with issues.
- 8. Use natural term Original: Help activities Suggested revision: Aid efforts Why it matters: Aid efforts is the conventional phrase for organized helping activities.
- 9. Correct adverb position Original: Help need not be always Suggested revision: Help need not always be Why it matters: Always should come after the modal construction need not.
- 10. Use precise framing Original: There are basically two ways to help Suggested revision: There are two main ways to help Why it matters: Main identifies the two approaches more precisely than the vague adverb basically.
- 11. Avoid repeated help Original: offering support to those around you who need your help Suggested revision: offering support to people in your community who need it Why it matters: The revision avoids repeating help and ties the phrase more closely to the local-community context.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: It can be in the form of services also. Suggested revision: It can also take the form of services. Why it matters: The rewrite places also naturally and uses the correct collocation take the form of.
Suggested Rewrites
- living”. living.”
- very virtuous thing virtuous act
- In this essay I intend to delve into This essay examines
- advantages of direct help advantages of providing direct help
- the needy people in need
- better status in life better standing in the community
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents both approaches clearly and organizes their advantages into an easy-to-follow progression, with a useful conditional view based on national circumstances. Its main limitation is that the writer’s opinion is not stated directly enough in the introduction or conclusion, and several expressions sound formulaic or imprecise. The priority is to articulate one explicit final position and express supporting claims in more natural, exact language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are relevantly developed and a conditional preference is offered, although the personal position remains indirect at key points.
State the conditional opinion explicitly in the introduction and restate it clearly in the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a logical sequence with clear paragraph purposes, though some short statements create a slightly list-like flow.
Combine closely related claims and use referencing to show their relationships more smoothly within paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range for nuanced discussion, but formulaic phrases and imprecise combinations occasionally weaken naturalness.
Replace stock expressions and vague terms such as larger platform with direct, context-specific wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex and simple structures are generally controlled well, with occasional awkward constructions that do not impede meaning.
Polish word order and clause phrasing in constructions such as help need not always be in the form of money.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people prefer to provide help and support directly to those in the local community who need it. Others, however, prefer to give money to national and international charitable organisations. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.