Today much of the food people eat gets transported from farms that are thousands of miles away. Some people believe it would be better for the environment and the economy if people only consumed food produced by local farmers. Would the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Sample Response
These days food often travels many miles as farmers export their food around the world to satisfy consumer demand. Although some people think stopping this practice would benefit the economy and the environment, I believe that the negative impacts would not justify such a change.
The benefits of stopping the export of food are twofold. In relation to the environment, transporting food involves the use of thousands of lorries and many flights, which contributes to pollution given all the emissions this must produce everyday. This negatively affects people’s health and also may be leading to global warming. In addition to this, stopping the practice will mean that people then only buy local food, leading to a boost to local economies as farmers will become profitable as they sell more.
However, there are downsides to this. A problem is that these days many countries, particularly developing countries, rely on exports of their produce. Countries often have acres and acres of plantations and crops that are only sold to foreign markets, and this provides an income to the farmers but it also provides work for thousands of local people around the world working on farms. Furthermore, people these days have become dependent on ingredients from other countries and without it people could no longer cook or eat many of their favourite recipes and many restaurants that depend on food exports may go out of business.
On balance, I therefore believe that the advantages do not outweigh the disadvantages. Despite the fact that it may improve the environment, the negative economic impacts on farmers who export and their employees and the further impacts on food choices and restaurants would be too detrimental.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix time expression Original: produce everyday Suggested revision: generate each day Why it matters: 'Each day' is an adverbial time expression, and 'generate' collocates naturally with emissions.
- 2. Use precise collocation Original: also may be leading to Suggested revision: may also be contributing to Why it matters: Emissions are more naturally described as contributing to global warming.
- 3. Keep conditional form Original: will Suggested revision: would Why it matters: 'Would' matches the hypothetical policy change discussed in the essay.
- 4. Fix conditional wording Original: people then only buy local food Suggested revision: people would then buy only local food Why it matters: The replacement maintains the hypothetical form and places 'only' next to what it limits.
- 5. Remove awkward repetition Original: leading to a boost to local economies Suggested revision: boosting local economies Why it matters: The concise verb form avoids the awkward sequence 'leading to a boost to'.
- 6. Improve conditional logic Original: farmers will become profitable as they sell more Suggested revision: farmers would become more profitable by selling more Why it matters: The replacement keeps the hypothetical tense and clarifies how increased sales affect profitability.
- 7. Use formal phrasing Original: acres and acres Suggested revision: vast areas Why it matters: 'Vast areas' conveys large scale more concisely in an academic essay.
- 8. Fix provide pattern Original: provides an income to the farmers Suggested revision: provides farmers with an income Why it matters: The correct pattern is 'provide someone with something'.
- 9. Use additive link Original: but it also provides work Suggested revision: and it also provides employment Why it matters: Both clauses describe benefits, so an additive connector is more logical than a contrastive one.
- 10. Fix pronoun agreement Original: without it people Suggested revision: without them, people Why it matters: The plural pronoun agrees with 'ingredients', and the comma separates the introductory phrase.
- 11. Use correct food noun Original: cook or eat many of their favourite recipes Suggested revision: prepare or eat many of their favourite dishes Why it matters: People prepare recipes but eat the dishes made from them.
Suggested Rewrites
- produce everyday generate each day
- also may be leading to may also be contributing to
- will would
- people then only buy local food people would then buy only local food
- leading to a boost to local economies boosting local economies
- farmers will become profitable as they sell more farmers would become more profitable by selling more
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response directly answers the comparison question, maintains a clear position, and develops relevant environmental, economic, and consumer arguments in a logical structure. The main limitation is that a few claims are simplified and some wording or reference choices are imprecise, particularly when discussing imports, exports, and local profitability. The priority is to qualify these economic claims and tighten the longer sentences to make the analysis more exact.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The advantages and disadvantages are both developed, and the consistent judgment that the disadvantages outweigh the benefits is clearly supported.
Qualify the claim that local-only purchasing would automatically make local farmers profitable by considering costs, supply, or seasonal limitations.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically sequenced and paragraphing is effective, with clear movement from benefits to drawbacks and a reasoned conclusion.
Reduce repetition in the disadvantages paragraph and separate its longest sentence to sharpen the progression between employment and consumer-choice effects.
Lexical Resource
A broad topic-specific vocabulary communicates the argument effectively, though several repetitions and imprecise choices limit full flexibility.
Distinguish imports from exports consistently and replace repeated words such as provides and impacts with more exact alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are frequent and generally controlled, but occasional agreement, reference, and punctuation lapses remain noticeable.
Check plural references such as ingredients and punctuate long coordinated clauses so each relationship is grammatically explicit.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Today much of the food people eat gets transported from farms that are thousands of miles away. Some people believe it would be better for the environment and the economy if people only consumed food produced by local farmers. Would the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.