Today’s food travels thousands of miles before it reaches customers. Why is this the case? Is this a positive or negative development?
Sample Response
The modern food supply chain is characterized by products traveling vast distances, often thousands of miles, before arriving at the consumer's table. This essay will explore the primary reasons for this phenomenon, and argue that this trend is, on balance, a negative development due to its severe environmental and local repercussions.
There are several key reasons why modern food often travels thousands of miles before reaching consumers. A primary driver is the global demand for diverse and non-seasonal foods. Consumers in many countries now expect access to exotic fruits, vegetables, and other products year-round, which necessitates importing them from different climates. For instance, European supermarkets frequently import mangoes and avocados out of season to meet this consistent consumer desire, thereby increasing sales and customer satisfaction. Furthermore, this trend is propelled by significant economic opportunities and international trade. For farmers and producers, especially in developing nations, exporting goods allows them to earn a higher income, while for nations, it expands trade relations and stimulates the global economy. The widespread exportation of coffee from Brazil and Ethiopia, for example, supports local economies while meeting worldwide demand, illustrating how economic gain can lead to the extensive distances modern food travels.
Despite these consumer and economic benefits, I would argue that the long-distance transport of food is largely a negative development. The most obvious drawback is the severe environmental impact. Long-distance transportation, whether by air, sea, or land, results in high carbon emissions and substantial fuel consumption, which directly contributes to climate change. As an example, air-freighted fruits from distant countries have a much higher carbon footprint than locally grown produce due to the intensive fuel required, causing considerable environmental damage. Additionally, this practice poses serious risks to local agriculture and food culture. A heavy dependence on imported foods creates intense competition for local farmers, often making it difficult for them to survive, which can lead to a decline in traditional food practices. This, as a result, weakens local food systems, contributes to a loss of cultural food identity, and increases vulnerability to global supply chain disruptions.
In conclusion, while the long-distance transportation of food is driven by an understandable consumer desire for variety and the clear economic benefits of global trade, the advantages it brings are overshadowed by its detrimental effects, namely profound environmental damage and the erosion of local agricultural systems.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove unnecessary comma Original: phenomenon, and argue Suggested revision: phenomenon and argue Why it matters: The comma should not separate two verbs that share the subject "This essay."
- 2. Use a precise phrase Original: local repercussions Suggested revision: effects on local communities Why it matters: The replacement states more clearly what kind of local impact is meant.
- 3. Use natural collocation Original: non-seasonal foods Suggested revision: out-of-season foods Why it matters: "Out-of-season foods" is the more natural phrase for produce supplied outside its normal season.
- 4. Clarify the economic driver Original: significant economic opportunities and international trade Suggested revision: economic incentives created by international trade Why it matters: The revision expresses the relationship between trade and economic motivation more precisely.
- 5. Use natural phrasing Original: extensive Suggested revision: long Why it matters: "Long distances" is more idiomatic than "extensive distances" in this context.
- 6. Match the plural antecedent Original: contributes Suggested revision: contribute Why it matters: The relative clause refers to both emissions and fuel consumption, so it requires the plural verb "contribute."
- 7. Correct the collocation Original: the intensive fuel required Suggested revision: the large amount of fuel required Why it matters: Fuel can be described by its amount, whereas "intensive fuel" is not a valid collocation here.
- 8. Clarify who faces competition Original: competition for local farmers Suggested revision: competitive pressure on local farmers Why it matters: The original phrase suggests that farmers are the object being competed for rather than the group under pressure.
- 9. Place the connector clearly Original: This, as a result, weakens Suggested revision: As a result, this weakens Why it matters: Moving the result connector to the start makes the causal link easier to read.
- 10. Use a concise term Original: cultural food identity Suggested revision: culinary identity Why it matters: "Culinary identity" conveys the intended cultural relationship with food more naturally.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: For farmers and producers, especially in developing nations, exporting goods allows them to earn a higher income, while for nations, it expands trade relations and stimulates the global economy. Suggested revision: For farmers and producers, especially in developing nations, exporting goods can generate higher incomes, while for countries, exports can expand trade relations and stimulate the global economy. Why it matters: The rewrite removes the unclear pronoun reference and gives both parts of the comparison parallel subjects.
Suggested Rewrites
- phenomenon, and argue phenomenon and argue
- local repercussions effects on local communities
- non-seasonal foods out-of-season foods
- significant economic opportunities and international trade economic incentives created by international trade
- extensive long
- contributes contribute
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay directly answers both questions, sustains a clear position, and develops its causes and drawbacks through relevant explanations and examples. Organization and language control are consistently strong, though some phrasing is slightly formulaic or overstated and a few examples remain illustrative rather than deeply analysed. The priority is to make claims more nuanced and tighten word choice so the argument feels more precise and less rehearsed.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are fully addressed through a clear position, well-developed reasons, and relevant supporting examples.
Make the illustrative examples more analytical by explaining their wider significance or acknowledging reasonable qualifications.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically through focused paragraphs, with cohesive devices used effectively throughout.
Reduce repeated signposting and make transitions between closely related claims more implicit for an even more natural flow.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a wide and precise vocabulary flexibly, with only occasional slightly strained or formulaic phrasing.
Replace expressions such as broad intensifiers and rehearsed evaluative phrases with more exact, context-specific wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is handled accurately and flexibly, with nearly all sentences error-free.
Refine a few heavily layered sentences by varying clause length and simplifying attachment where this would sharpen emphasis.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Today’s food travels thousands of miles before it reaches customers. Why is this the case? Is this a positive or negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.