Because of the global economy, many goods including what we use as daily basics produced by other counties have to be transported for a long distance. To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Sample Response
On the positive side, transporting goods over a long distance gives us a lot of choices. We can taste a variety of fruits and vegetables from all parts of the world. For example, about ten years ago, we hardly saw kiwi fruit, which is from New Zealand. But, now it has a place on every fruit stand. Earlier, we had very few shoe brands like Bata and Carona, but now the market is flooded with Reeboks, Nike, Adidas and other foreign brands.
Secondly, many people get employment in this field. Small businesses have a chance to expand globally and it increases the overall economy of the country. Finally, it helps in developing good relations between countries, which helps in international co-operation and peace. If countries are dependent upon one another’s economic success, then armed conflict would be less likely.
On the downside, importing goods can have a negative effect on local culture. This can be seen in countries such as Japan where imported food has become more popular than traditional, local produce, eroding people’s understanding of their own food traditions. A second major disadvantage is pollution. When goods are transported thousands of miles by road, sea and air, it increases pollution from exhaust fumes.
To conclude, importing goods has both merits and demerits but the pros outweigh the cons.
Plan followed Intro: In my opinion, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural verb Original: taste Suggested revision: enjoy Why it matters: 'Enjoy' is the natural verb when describing access to a range of produce.
- 2. Remove misplaced comma Original: But, now Suggested revision: But now Why it matters: A comma should not separate the coordinating conjunction from the following adverb here.
- 3. Avoid absolute wording Original: has a place on every fruit stand Suggested revision: is widely available at fruit stands Why it matters: This wording conveys broad availability without an unnecessarily absolute claim.
- 4. Name the brand correctly Original: Reeboks Suggested revision: Reebok products Why it matters: The brand name itself is not normally pluralized in this list.
- 5. Use formal collocation Original: get Suggested revision: find Why it matters: 'Find employment' is the more natural formal collocation.
- 6. Clarify economic effect Original: it increases the overall economy of the country Suggested revision: this contributes to the country's overall economic growth Why it matters: The revision gives 'this' a clear reference and uses the correct economic collocation.
- 7. Use direct verb pattern Original: helps in developing good relations Suggested revision: helps develop good relations Why it matters: 'Help' can take the base verb directly, producing a more concise construction.
- 8. Refine conditional link Original: then armed conflict would be less likely Suggested revision: armed conflict may become less likely Why it matters: The revised modal fits the general conditional claim and removes an unnecessary sequencing marker.
- 9. Clarify the reference Original: it increases pollution from exhaust fumes Suggested revision: this increases pollution through exhaust emissions Why it matters: 'This' clearly refers to long-distance transport, while 'through' expresses the means of pollution.
- 10. Remove planning note Original: Plan followed Intro: In my opinion, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: This planning note is not part of the essay and disrupts the finished response.
- 11. Clarify idea progression Suggested revision: Use a clearer transition when moving from employment and business growth to international relations. Why it matters: The paragraph shifts between economic and diplomatic benefits without clearly signalling the change in focus.
Suggested Rewrites
- taste enjoy
- But, now But now
- has a place on every fruit stand is widely available at fruit stands
- Reeboks Reebok products
- get find
- it increases the overall economy of the country this contributes to the country's overall economic growth
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is logically organised, maintains a clear view that the advantages prevail, and supports both sides with relevant examples. Its main limitation is the restricted depth of comparison, compounded by falling slightly below the expected length and ending with an extraneous planning note. The priority is to extend the evaluation of why the stated economic and diplomatic gains outweigh cultural and environmental costs, while keeping only the finished essay in the response.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both advantages and disadvantages are relevantly addressed with a clear conclusion, but the short response explains the weighing of these effects only briefly.
Develop the comparative judgement by explaining why the most important benefits carry greater weight than the pollution and cultural costs.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas follow a clear advantages-to-disadvantages structure with effective paragraphing, though some transitions are mechanical and the final planning note disrupts closure.
Remove drafting notes and use transitions that express the logical relationship between claims rather than simply numbering them.
Lexical Resource
A sufficiently flexible vocabulary conveys economic, cultural, and environmental ideas with generally appropriate word choice and only occasional awkward phrasing.
Improve precision in collocations such as creating employment and strengthening the economy while avoiding informal shorthand such as pros and cons.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a good range of sentence forms with generally accurate control, and the remaining agreement and punctuation lapses do not impede meaning.
Check pronoun reference, subject-verb agreement, and punctuation around introductory linking expressions to make complex sentences more consistently accurate.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Because of the global economy, many goods including what we use as daily basics produced by other counties have to be transported for a long distance. To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.