In today's world, people are living longer than the past. What could be possible reasons for this? Many people think that this trend is negative for society. Do you agree or disagree with this?
Sample Response
As the world's economy has grown considerably, people's earning potentialearning potential amongst people has increased rapidlyat a quicker rate. Besides, advances in technology and medical research havethe advancement in technology and medical research have made it possible to cure many diseases. Thus, these advances have improvedThus these have enhanced people's lifestyleslifestyle. Moreover, medical developments have also affected human healththe human health condition very positively and this increases people's life expectancygives a longer life expectancy to people. Many people think that increased life expectancyincreased average life is beneficial for societybeneficial for the society. However, others criticise it and think that this is negative for the world. In this essay, both of these views are analysed before a logical conclusion is reached.
The medical advancement, innovation and scientific research on deadly diseases have made it possible for people to live longer than people in previous generationslonger than the previous generations. The improved lifestyle, globalisation and better medical facilities have increased the average life expectancy in many countries. The scarcity of foods and shelter was much more in the previous generations and famine was common in the last century but not anymore. People have better lifestyleslifestyle and information at their fingertips. As a result, their health has improvedtheir health condition has enhanced and so has their life expectancy.
Consequently, the proportion of older peoplethe ratio of the older population has increased in many countries. That places pressurecreates a pressure to some extent on a country's economy. For example, countries like Japan have a large population of people aged 60–70a huge population of 60-70 years old who cannot actively contribute towards the economic growth of the country but the government needs a huge budget to support them. This has even led to a shortage of manpower in different sectors in some countries. Moreover, the government also needs to provide schemes for elderly people like pension schemes as well as other economic benefits for them. This is often a challenge in a developing or less-developed country. Thus the negative impacts of increased life expectancy can not be ignored.
However, there are certain benefits of longer living that we must take into consideration before supporting or opposing it. For instance, ifIf elderly people get involved in the decision-making process and in professions like politics, teaching, writing, mentoring, the country can be benefitted immensely. The older generation can pass their history, traditions and experience among the young generation and that would always be beneficial. For instance, in Indian grandparents have a great importance while taking any important decision. Additionally, they can also be able to take care of any child of the family. Obviously, children require love, lesson, teaching and sympathy which they can get from their grandparents. From this relationship among family members can become stronger. It is quite evident that longer life has more benefits than drawbacks. The experience of older people could be used in education, politics and in other fields to enhance the overall economy of a country. Older people can give better suggestion to address a difficult situation from their experience and those experiences should be used in family and society. They preserve the manual way of living live and that has a great value to our society.
After analysing, pros and cons of longer life expectancy, it has been proved that increases life gives more benefits to the society. I, therefore, strongly oppose the viewpoint that longer life trend is negative for the society. It is hoped that this trend will be effective in foreseeable future.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay addresses both parts extensively, explaining medical and living-standard causes before weighing economic pressures against older people’s social and practical contributions. Its strongest aspect is the breadth of relevant supporting ideas and examples. However, the position is delayed, the benefits section becomes repetitive and overextended, and frequent awkward constructions reduce clarity; prioritise a concise thesis, balanced body paragraphs, and one developed example for each major effect.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both the causes of longevity and the writer’s disagreement with its negative assessment are substantially addressed, but the stance arrives late and some support is repetitive or overstated.
State disagreement in the introduction and develop two distinct benefits rather than repeating that older people provide experience and advice.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a clear causes–drawbacks–benefits sequence, but the very long benefits paragraph, repeated examples, and formulaic transitions weaken focus.
Limit each body paragraph to one main function and divide economic contributions from family and cultural contributions.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range for medicine, demographics, public finance, and intergenerational support, but frequent unnatural collocations and word forms reduce precision.
Use life expectancy, improved health, an ageing population, pressure on public finances, benefit from, and pass experience on to younger generations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of sentence forms is attempted, but agreement, articles, prepositions, passive forms, capitalization, and sentence boundaries contain frequent errors.
Proofread complete clauses and correct forms such as medical advances have, pressure on, can benefit, in India, advice, and an increased lifespan.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In today's world, people are living longer than the past. What could be possible reasons for this? Many people think that this trend is negative for society. Do you agree or disagree with this?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.