In many cities, an increasing number of people do not know their neighbours and the sense of community is lost. Discuss the causes and give measures to turn it around. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

Sample Response

1

The significant rise in populationsignificant rises of the population, fast-paced lifestylesfast paced life, crime rate and dependency on technology in the urban areas make more peoplemake more people become unacquainted and unfriendly to their neighbours. However, there are measures that can be taken to alleviate this issue.

2

In today’s technology-dependent eratechnology dependent era, people are mostly busy with their own work. Major streets in the cities are filled with busy people walking fast to reach their office or place of businesstheir office or business place. They are even busy talking to their office colleagues and family members over the phone. After they return home late in the eveninglate evening, they watch television, use a computeruse computer and the Internet or spend time with family members. They scarcely have any time to socialise with neighbours. In some casesscenarios, people do not even know who liveslive next door in city areas. These are the everyday scenarios in the cities where social interactions are rarely seensocial interactions could be rarely seen as individuals have no time to socialise and are highly focusedand much focused on their own work or personal interests.

3

Again, the rapid increase in crimerampant acceleration of crimes in the urban community makes individualsmakes individual become unnecessarily cautious and suspicious about other people, especially of peopleespecially with the people they meet for the very first time. Even trusting people in their own neighbourhoodtrusting their own neighbourhood would be tough for them as they are in constant fear of being harmed. As a result, inhabitantsAs a result inhabitants of cities tend to become isolated as they are afraid to mingle because they have not developed mutual trustbecause of undeveloped acquaintance. Unlike rural areas, where comparatively fewer people live together, city areas are highly populated and it is not unlikely that several thousand peopleseveral thousands of people live in a block. Maintaining social relationshipsrelationship with all of them is thusis this thus quite impossible.

4

On the other hand, considering possible measures to improve a sense of community in the neighbourhood, community officialsneighbourhood community officials must organise programmes regularly to encourage camaraderie. Secondly, building more parks, social gathering places, community centres and children’s playgroundsplayground in the community could be a good measure to let people socialise and know each other. This is also helpful for meeting friends, bonding with family and neighbours. As a result, people living in the community would develop a sense of friendship. Positive news and events among community members should be highlighted in media to eradicate the fear people have about unknown people. Finally, organising different community groups to help people find others with same interest and to share common passions is a very effective measure to help people enhance their neighbouring bonds and relationship in my opinion.

5

To sum it up, city life and overwhelming population should not be hindrances to our sense of community and our relationship with our neighbours. It would be nicer for the community to develop a friendly environment to create a better place to live in with all the neighbours.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.0

The response thoroughly addresses the loss of neighbourhood ties through several developed causes and a substantial, practical set of community measures. Its progression is clear, but recurring awkward collocations and grammatical lapses make some otherwise sophisticated points sound imprecise or cumbersome. The highest-priority improvement is to retain the strong range of ideas while expressing them through more natural word combinations and more carefully controlled complex sentences.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TR

Task Response

8.0
Scoring rule

The causes and remedies are directly addressed, well extended, and supported by a clear viewpoint on rebuilding community ties.

Next step

Refine a few broad claims about city residents and crime with more qualified, specific explanation.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0
Scoring rule

Information is logically sequenced in purposeful paragraphs, although repetition and a few overloaded sentences weaken cohesion locally.

Next step

Tighten repeated explanations and divide densely packed solution sentences so that each measure and result is immediately clear.

LR

Lexical Resource

7.0
Scoring rule

A wide topic-specific vocabulary conveys nuanced ideas, but several ambitious collocations are unnatural or imprecise.

Next step

Check advanced phrases for natural usage, replacing combinations such as undeveloped acquaintance with simpler, more exact wording.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.5
Scoring rule

The response shows a good range of sentence forms, but agreement, article, modifier, and clause-control errors occur across the essay.

Next step

Proofread complex sentences for complete clause structure and accurate agreement, especially when subjects and verbs are separated by long phrases.

Put the feedback to work

Write this task while it is fresh

Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.

IELTS Writing Task 2

In many cities, an increasing number of people do not know their neighbours and the sense of community is lost. Discuss the causes and give measures to turn it around. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

Your response

Words0
40:00

Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.