Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
The contention that one’s achievements hinge chiefly on luck has sparked extensive debate. I maintain that, while strategic effort undeniably establishes a foundation for success, serendipitous factors are equally crucial in determining whether goals are realised.
Admittedly, meticulous planning and unwavering endeavour can form the cornerstone of achievement. Specifically, defining clear objectives channels actions toward purposeful outcomes and ensures that each effort contributes to progress. Consequently, constructing detailed roadmaps enables individuals to monitor milestones and adjust tactics proactively. Notably, perseverance accelerates skill mastery as persistent practice refines competencies and deepens understanding. For instance, entrepreneurs often navigate early challenges through dogged resolve, transforming setbacks into learning experiences that propel long-term growth.
Nevertheless, luck exerts a potent influence by shaping external circumstances beyond one’s control. One notable factor is timing and opportunity, as fortuitous moments can significantly alter the trajectory of success. A key illustration of this is fortuitous timing as entering a burgeoning market at its inflection point can yield exponential returns. As a result, serendipitous timing often magnifies the impact of even the most robust strategies. Crucially, unanticipated events—ranging from economic shifts to chance encounters—can redirect trajectories in unpredictable ways. This is exemplified by chance introductions at networking events, which sometimes unlock partnerships that no amount of planning could foresee. Short of omniscience, individuals must accept that such external variables can make or break ventures.
In conclusion, I believe that although goal-setting and perseverance are indispensable, genuine success often emerges at the intersection of hard work and good fortune; it is the synergy between deliberate effort and serendipity that ultimately propels one to their aims.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Match plural subject Original: strategic effort undeniably establishes Suggested revision: strategic efforts undeniably establish Why it matters: The plural form makes the reference to sustained actions more natural and requires a plural verb.
- 2. Use natural collocation Original: channels actions toward purposeful outcomes Suggested revision: channels effort towards purposeful outcomes Why it matters: Effort is more naturally channelled than actions in this context.
- 3. Clarify what is monitored Original: monitor milestones Suggested revision: monitor progress towards milestones Why it matters: People monitor progress, while milestones are the targets against which progress is measured.
- 4. Temper the causal claim Original: accelerates skill mastery Suggested revision: supports the mastery of skills Why it matters: This collocation expresses the contribution of perseverance more precisely.
- 5. Match number correctly Original: One notable factor is timing and opportunity Suggested revision: Two notable factors are timing and opportunity Why it matters: The singular subject does not agree with the two factors named in the complement.
- 6. Avoid repeated wording Original: serendipitous Suggested revision: favourable Why it matters: This removes the close repetition of fortuitous and serendipitous while preserving the meaning.
- 7. Use a direct expression Original: This is exemplified by chance introductions Suggested revision: This can be seen in chance introductions Why it matters: The revised phrase is more direct and avoids an awkward passive construction.
- 8. Use precise collocation Original: propels one to their aims Suggested revision: helps people achieve their aims Why it matters: People achieve aims rather than being propelled to them.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: A key illustration of this is fortuitous timing as entering a burgeoning market at its inflection point can yield exponential returns. Suggested revision: A key illustration is entering a burgeoning market at the right time, which can yield exponential returns. Why it matters: The original construction repeats timing and joins the example to the main clause awkwardly.
- 10. Group related examples Suggested revision: Open with the general point about uncontrollable events, then group the timing and networking examples beneath it. Why it matters: This order would create a clearer progression from the main idea to its illustrations.
Suggested Rewrites
- strategic effort undeniably establishes strategic efforts undeniably establish
- channels actions toward purposeful outcomes channels effort towards purposeful outcomes
- monitor milestones monitor progress towards milestones
- accelerates skill mastery supports the mastery of skills
- One notable factor is timing and opportunity Two notable factors are timing and opportunity
- serendipitous favourable
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response presents a clear, nuanced position and develops both deliberate effort and luck with relevant causal explanation and examples. Its main limitation is an occasionally over-engineered style, with repetitive signposting and some redundant or awkward phrasing around timing and success. The highest-priority improvement is to make the argument more concise and natural by consolidating overlapping points and choosing simpler, more exact expressions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response fully addresses the extent question with a clear balanced position and well-developed explanations of both effort and luck.
Strengthen the analysis further by making the relationship between effort and luck more explicit within each example rather than treating them mainly in separate blocks.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-controlled paragraphs, although frequent overt signposts and repeated points about timing make parts feel mechanical.
Reduce sentence-by-sentence linking phrases and combine the overlapping discussion of fortuitous timing into a tighter progression.
Lexical Resource
A wide and sophisticated vocabulary conveys precise abstract meanings, but several expressions are repetitive or slightly unnatural in context.
Prioritize idiomatic precision over elevated wording, especially when describing how timing affects success and how people achieve their aims.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a broad range of complex structures with strong control and only occasional awkward construction.
Refine sentences in which an example is attached with an unclear clause structure, particularly the sentence beginning with the key illustration.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.