Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A person should never make an important decision alone.
Sample Response
Making decision is a sensitive issue to everyone and it needs attention and full understanding. In other opinions, they believe that a person should not urge to do any relevant decision alone.
In decision making there are many factors needs to be considered like the age, level of mental and physical wellbeing and position in life. In some countries like the Philippines person below 18 years old considered as a minor and don't let to establish any commitment especially in legal aspects like marriage, job, and health operations. Approval and consent of parents are required before any minors allow doing any certain actions. It is believed that a below 18 years old person don't have the capacity to stand alone and still dependent with their guardians. Their minds are still immature and it demands experience. Some of their decisions are too aggressive and do not realise the advantages and disadvantages of many things. Their decisions are easily influenced by high emotions and don't listen or pay attention to different advice and selections that may result in a positive or negative outcome.
Another example of these is in the government, senators are not allowed to take any decisions by themselves for the nation. Superior people need to account their opinion and signature in order to establish any law and bills. In these ways, the probability of being bias is lessened. It is also a manner of respect to the person in a higher position. In addition to that, people with mental problems also need full attention when it comes to choosing or deciding to any options. Their process of thinking is not reliable anymore due to some diminished brain functions and some congenital problems with their brains.
In summary, committing to any decisions demand high responsibility and component in order to deliver a positive or negative results.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add missing article Original: Making decision Suggested revision: Making a decision Why it matters: The singular countable noun “decision” needs an article.
- 2. Use correct preposition Original: to Suggested revision: for Why it matters: An issue is sensitive “for” a person rather than sensitive “to” them in this meaning.
- 3. Fix subject verb agreement Original: needs Suggested revision: need Why it matters: The plural subject “factors” requires the plural verb “need.”
- 4. Introduce examples formally Original: considered like the age Suggested revision: considered, such as age Why it matters: Use “such as” rather than “like” to introduce examples in formal writing.
- 5. Fix age expression Original: a below 18 years old person Suggested revision: a person under 18 years old Why it matters: Age is expressed with “under” before the number in this structure.
- 6. Match singular subject Original: don't have Suggested revision: does not have Why it matters: The singular subject “person” requires “does not have.”
- 7. Add verb and preposition Original: and still dependent with Suggested revision: and is still dependent on Why it matters: The adjective needs the verb “is” and takes the preposition “on.”
- 8. Clarify pronoun reference Original: it demands experience Suggested revision: they lack experience Why it matters: The plural people, not an unclear singular “it,” are the ones who lack experience.
- 9. Remove redundant wording Original: Approval and consent of parents Suggested revision: Parental consent Why it matters: “Approval” and “consent” overlap, so the concise phrase conveys the same meaning.
- 10. Fix passive construction Original: any minors allow doing Suggested revision: minors are allowed to take Why it matters: The sentence requires a passive verb because permission is given to the minors.
- 11. Use singular reference Original: these Suggested revision: this Why it matters: The pronoun refers to the singular idea of shared decision-making.
- 12. Fix comma splice Original: government, senators Suggested revision: government: senators Why it matters: A colon correctly introduces the explanation that follows.
Suggested Rewrites
- Making decision Making a decision
- to for
- needs need
- considered like the age considered, such as age
- a below 18 years old person a person under 18 years old
- don't have does not have
Why this response received Band 5.0
The essay offers relevant examples of minors, legislators, and people with impaired decision-making capacity, showing why consultation can be necessary in particular situations. Its main limitation is that it never states a clear agreement or disagreement with the universal claim that a person should never decide alone, and the conclusion remains vague; the highest-priority improvement is to adopt a precise position and distinguish advice from compulsory shared decision-making.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Several relevant situations are discussed, but the response does not give a clear position on "never," and it focuses on exceptional groups rather than important decisions by people generally.
State whether most competent adults may decide alone after seeking advice, then use the examples to define when consultation or consent is genuinely necessary.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay progresses from minors to public officials and people with mental impairments, but the central argument is not clearly signposted and the conclusion does not resolve it.
Give each body paragraph a clear claim linked to the thesis and finish by restating the exact degree of agreement.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficient to discuss responsibility, consent, government, and mental capacity, but frequent inaccurate phrases such as "urge to do a decision" and "probability of being bias" limit precision.
Use natural expressions such as "make a decision," "parental consent," "consider different opinions," and "reduce the risk of bias."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles, plurals, and prepositions regularly disrupt fluency and sometimes make relationships difficult to follow.
Build shorter complete sentences with clear subjects and verbs, for example "People under 18 are considered minors and often require parental consent."
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A person should never make an important decision alone.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.