In many countries, good schools and medical facilities are available only in cities. Some people think new teachers and doctors should work in rural areas for a few years, but others think everyone should be free to choose where they work. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Undeniably, educational institutions and specialised hospitals are located in the urban areas in almost all countries around the globe. To equalise these facilities among the citizens of a country, most of the people have the opinion that government should make regulations for compulsory rural service after the graduation by the professionals. Whereas others believe that it is an unethical interference with someone’s freedom. This essay delves both these views before arriving at a logical conclusion.
On one hand, mandatory service after graduation by health professionals and educational faculty are astonishingly beneficial to the rural people. For instance compulsory, one-three years rural service for new teachers, doctors, dentists etc. will alleviate the scarcity of trained professionals in the village area. In addition, those who have qualified from the government institutions receiving a grant from the government have their responsibility to serve the government and the people. Moreover, because of brain drain system community is getting very less service from the talented professionals and compulsory work in rural areas by new doctors and teachers will ensure that they concentrate more on serving people rather than planning to migrate to a rich country. Rural people have to move to city areas for better treatment and for their children’s education and this has a negative consequence like overpopulation, increased crime rate and pollution in city areas. Adopting this strategy by the government will ensure a better distribution of the population in both rural and city areas. Finally professionals like doctors and teachers should focus primarily on serving people, not to amass fortunes. Unfortunately, teachers and doctors in many cases are far more concerned about money than helping people and few years’ compulsory work in rural areas at the begging of someone’s career would be a great leap toward appositive mind-setup by these professionals. On the other hand, some others believe that in an independent country everybody should have the freedom to decide where to work and where to live. Any restriction and mandatory rules would violate their rights and would cause them to become frustrated. These professionals would then dislike to work or stay in their homeland and will try to migrate to a foreign country. Furthermore, this should be a spontaneous decision made by a newly became doctor and teacher and should not be a forced decision. Hence the supporters of this view argue that compulsory work in rural areas is both unfair and harmful. Put everything into consideration, I personally feel that for a rapid and complete development of a nation both rural and city areas should get focus for facilities and development. The government should ensure the equal distribution of services and place new doctors and teachers in rural areas for few years would be a great idea to help rural people and also build a service oriented mentality among these young professionals.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove unnecessary article Original: in the urban areas Suggested revision: in urban areas Why it matters: No definite article is needed when referring to urban areas generally.
- 2. Clarify distribution Original: equalise these facilities among the citizens Suggested revision: distribute these facilities equally among citizens Why it matters: Facilities are distributed equally; they are not themselves equalised among people.
- 3. Remove unnecessary article Original: most of the people Suggested revision: most people Why it matters: A general reference to the majority of people does not require “the.”
- 4. Use verb and article Original: have the opinion that government Suggested revision: believe that the government Why it matters: The direct verb is more natural, and the singular institution needs a definite article.
- 5. Use active clause Original: after the graduation by the professionals Suggested revision: after professionals graduate Why it matters: The active clause removes the unnatural nominalization and misplaced agent phrase.
- 6. Choose transitive verb Original: delves both these views Suggested revision: examines both views Why it matters: “Delve” cannot directly take the two views as its object in this construction.
- 7. Complete paired linker Original: On one hand Suggested revision: On the one hand Why it matters: The standard paired transition begins with “on the one hand.”
- 8. Fix agreement and tone Original: are astonishingly beneficial Suggested revision: is highly beneficial Why it matters: The head noun “service” is singular, and “highly” is more appropriate in formal analysis.
- 9. Fix order and range Original: For instance compulsory, one-three years rural service Suggested revision: For instance, one to three years of compulsory rural service Why it matters: This revision positions the linking punctuation correctly and expresses the numerical range grammatically.
- 10. Use accurate plural Original: the village area Suggested revision: rural areas Why it matters: The plural phrase matches the essay’s general discussion of multiple communities.
- 11. Fix noun phrase Original: because of brain drain system Suggested revision: because of the brain drain Why it matters: “Brain drain” is the established noun phrase and needs a definite article here.
- 12. Fix number and comparison Original: community is getting very less service Suggested revision: communities receive far less service Why it matters: The general subject should be plural, and “far less” is the grammatical comparative expression.
Suggested Rewrites
- in the urban areas in urban areas
- equalise these facilities among the citizens distribute these facilities equally among citizens
- most of the people most people
- have the opinion that government believe that the government
- after the graduation by the professionals after professionals graduate
- delves both these views examines both views
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response addresses both compulsory rural service and freedom of employment, develops several effects on rural communities and professionals, and clearly supports temporary placements. Its main limitations are severe paragraph imbalance and frequent imprecise language: nearly the entire discussion and conclusion appear in one long block, while some claims about professionals are unfairly broad. The priority is to organise each view separately and justify compulsory service through evidence-based policy arguments.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views and a clear opinion are substantially developed, although several supporting claims are overgeneralised or moralising.
Focus on defensible arguments such as staffing shortages, public funding obligations, incentives, and the risk of professional resentment.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overall contrast between the views is recognisable, but combining both sides and the conclusion in one exceptionally long paragraph seriously weakens progression.
Use one focused paragraph for compulsory service, one for freedom of choice, and a separate conclusion that weighs them.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a broad policy vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations, word forms, and spelling choices reduce clarity.
Use precise expressions such as rural placement, publicly funded training, shortage of professionals, voluntary service, and service-oriented outlook.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning remains mostly clear despite frequent errors in articles, agreement, prepositions, verb forms, fragments, and sentence boundaries.
Build shorter complete sentences and check article and verb patterns, especially around graduates, professionals, and government policy.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In many countries, good schools and medical facilities are available only in cities. Some people think new teachers and doctors should work in rural areas for a few years, but others think everyone should be free to choose where they work. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.