It is sometimes said that people should be encouraged to get married before they are 30, as this is the best for the individual and for society.
Sample Response
In the past, people used to get married at a younger age, usually after turning 20. In modern societythe modern society, individuals have placed less priority on marriageindividuals reduced the priority of getting married as their demands on their livesdemands from life increased. However, I personally believe that getting married before the age of thirty is beneficialbefore the thirties is beneficial for people as well as societyas well as the society. In this essay, we will analyse how this can enable people to plan their future and help reduce the government's responsibilitiesresponsibilities of the government.
To begin with, if peoplefolks start favouring marriage before the age of thirty, theybefore the thirties, they can haveget enough time to understand each other before starting a familystarting their own family. This will not only help them to develop trust in each other but also helps them to get familiar with partner's dreams. In other words, they can easily work together towards building their futureupcoming life. Thus, it is apparent that marrying earlierthis marriage will provide them ample timeample of time for planningstructuring their future in a positive way.
Besides this, couples who marry before thirtycouples wedded before these years have a higher chance of having a childhigher chances of giving birth to a baby at a younger age. Owing to this, the health of the child as well as parents is benefited. As a result, it is less likely for them to suffer from ailments at an earlier stage and thereby, increases the life expectancy of human beings. From this, it is clear that the government might needgovernment might need to spend fewerminimum resources on health benefits of society and can concentrate largely on the economic growth of the country.
After analysing the areas of personal and social benefits, it is clear that such couples can expect healthy family life and thus the country can expect the growth. It has now been shown that individuals should be motivated for getting married before thirty. It is thus expected that government will educate the nation about the benefits of engaging themselves in a relationship at the proper age.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay presents a clear supportive position and develops personal benefits through relationship-building and family planning, alongside a claimed social benefit through lower healthcare costs. Its strongest feature is the logical separation of individual and societal effects; the main limitation is that the health and government-spending claims are broad and insufficiently evidenced. The priority is to use realistic support and explain more carefully why marriage before 30 itself produces the stated outcomes.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear and individual and social benefits are both developed, but several causal claims about health, longevity, and public spending are generalized or unsupported.
Support the argument with a realistic example and distinguish the effects of marrying earlier from the separate effects of becoming a parent younger.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay progresses logically from the position through personal and societal benefits to a consistent conclusion, with clear paragraph-level organization.
Tighten the link between the second body paragraph and the social-benefit claim so each causal step is explicit and credible.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range for discussing marriage, family planning, health, and society, but recurring awkward collocations reduce precision.
Use natural phrases such as “place less emphasis on marriage,” “learn about a partner’s goals,” “ample time,” and “lower healthcare expenditure.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is attempted, but recurring errors in agreement, articles, pronoun reference, and clause control reduce accuracy.
Check parallel structures and subjects in sentences containing “not only,” “the health of parents and children,” and “the government may spend.”
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IELTS Writing Task 2
It is sometimes said that people should be encouraged to get married before they are 30, as this is the best for the individual and for society.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.