It is usually foolish to get married before completing your studies and getting establishment in a good job. Do you agree and disagree?
Sample Response
Marriage is the most important aspect in one’s life. The marriage in not only relationship of two persons but also it ties two two families together.Some people agree that it is not good to get married before finishing studies and getting good job. I fully agree with this statement and numerous of reason behind it.
Firstly, both the life partners are not fully purposed physically as well as mentally because before completing their studies they are not enough mature to make their new life successful. Moreover, sometimes girls have some problems to adjust new family. After the marriage, they have more responsibilities toward their in-laws family and it is difficult for them to balance their family as well as their studies. As result of it they are not able to their fully concentration on studies and household works.
Furthermore, if children married before completing their higher studies and getting renewed job, they totally depend on their families. They always take money from both parents for studies and other basic needs. In addition to it, girls face too much restrictions which are imposed on her by in-law family and they have to follow such restriction whether she want or not. Sometime they put restriction on her regular studies or doing job outside.
However, nowadays people have changed their mentality.they have become open-minded. They prefer there daughter inlaw to continue their studies further study as well as job.
To conclude, early marriage inhibits the overall growth of both the genders because of this they do not understand each other very well and conflicts take place.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix the opening clause Original: The marriage in Suggested revision: Marriage is Why it matters: Marriage is used generally without the article, and the verb must be is.
- 2. Add the article Original: not only relationship Suggested revision: not only a relationship Why it matters: The singular countable noun relationship requires an article.
- 3. Use natural phrasing Original: of two persons Suggested revision: between two people Why it matters: A relationship exists between people, and people is the natural term here.
- 4. Keep structure parallel Original: but also it ties Suggested revision: but also ties Why it matters: The second part should share the subject Marriage with the first part.
- 5. Remove repeated word Original: two two families Suggested revision: two families Why it matters: The numeral two is accidentally repeated.
- 6. Add missing article Original: getting good job Suggested revision: getting a good job Why it matters: The singular countable noun job requires an article.
- 7. Fix quantifier structure Original: numerous of reason Suggested revision: numerous reasons Why it matters: Numerous directly modifies a plural noun and is not followed by of.
- 8. Choose the intended word Original: purposed Suggested revision: prepared Why it matters: Prepared expresses readiness, whereas purposed does not have the intended meaning.
- 9. Place enough correctly Original: not enough mature Suggested revision: not mature enough Why it matters: Enough follows the adjective it modifies.
- 10. Fix the verb pattern Original: problems to adjust new family Suggested revision: problems adjusting to a new family Why it matters: Problems takes a gerund here, and adjust requires to before the new situation.
- 11. Use possessive form Original: in-laws family Suggested revision: in-laws’ family Why it matters: The family belonging to the in-laws requires a plural possessive form.
- 12. Use correct linker Original: As result of it Suggested revision: As a result Why it matters: The fixed linking phrase requires a and does not need the vague pronoun it.
Suggested Rewrites
- The marriage in Marriage is
- not only relationship not only a relationship
- of two persons between two people
- but also it ties but also ties
- two two families two families
- getting good job getting a good job
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response states a clear position and offers several relevant reasons concerning maturity, study responsibilities, and financial dependence. Paragraphing gives the essay a visible structure, but ideas are unevenly developed and pervasive grammar and word-choice errors frequently strain clarity. The most important improvement is to build two focused arguments with specific explanation, then revise every sentence for basic agreement, articles, pronouns, and natural vocabulary.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response gives a clear opinion and relevant reasons, but development is limited, some claims focus narrowly on women, and the brief opposing point is not integrated.
Develop two balanced reasons with specific consequences or examples and explain how the opposing point affects, or fails to change, the position.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has recognisable paragraphs and an overall line of argument, but mechanical linking, unclear references, and the isolated however paragraph weaken progression.
Give each body paragraph one clear controlling idea and connect the counterpoint explicitly to the main argument before concluding.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary covers the topic adequately, but frequent spelling, word-form, and collocation errors make several expressions unnatural or difficult to interpret.
Use simpler accurate phrases such as secure job, mature enough, and concentrate fully, and check every noun and verb form.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple and complex structures are attempted, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, pronouns, plurals, and sentence formation regularly reduce clarity.
Prioritise accurate basic sentence patterns and systematically check subject-verb agreement, articles, and pronoun consistency in every sentence.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
It is usually foolish to get married before completing your studies and getting establishment in a good job. Do you agree and disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.