Some say you should always marry for love; others say that in an uncertain world it's wiser to marry for money. Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Marriage is one of the most important ceremonies in human’s life. Many people marry for love while many others marry for money. There are valid arguments for both types of wedding. In this essay, I will discuss both views but in my opinion, people should not consider money as a vital component of the marriage. People who oppose wedding for love say that marriages cannot be successful if the couple has a scarcity of money. Money takes the priority and the love flies in the air if people cannot live a comfortable life. Opponents of this view also argue that love is just an emotion and can be developed even after marriage. Having a splendid vacation, enjoying luxurious holidays together are memorable and people fell in love with each other. In old days parents used to choose the life partner for their kids considering their intellect and various factors where money was one of the major deciding factors and even that time marriages were successful. We seldom hear cases of divorce. Proponents of love marriages comment that even in difficult situations of the life if spouses understand each other they can mutually work in the adverse condition and resolve the issues. Secondly, the financial condition of people may vary in different stages of life. These marriages will not get affected by the change in economic condition. Finally, love marriages are highly successful as couples do understand each other and they know their compatibility very well before marriage. To conclude, getting wed for money or like is an individual decision and may be governed by culture and tradition as well. In my opinion, for successful and happy married life affection is an important factor and people should marry for the love, not money.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Wrong noun focus Original: ceremonies in human’s life Suggested revision: events in a person's life Why it matters: Marriage is more than a ceremony, and human's is unnatural here.
- 2. Use marriage Original: types of wedding Suggested revision: types of marriage Why it matters: The essay discusses marriage decisions, not wedding ceremonies.
- 3. Article and noun Original: oppose wedding for love Suggested revision: oppose marrying for love Why it matters: Marrying for love is the correct gerund phrase.
- 4. Unnatural idiom Original: the love flies in the air Suggested revision: love may fade Why it matters: The original expression is not natural in English.
- 5. Verb tense Original: people fell in love Suggested revision: people fall in love Why it matters: Use present simple for a general claim.
- 6. Article needed Original: In old days Suggested revision: In the old days Why it matters: The fixed phrase needs the.
- 7. Plural form Original: adverse condition Suggested revision: adverse conditions Why it matters: Conditions should be plural in this general meaning.
- 8. Wrong word Original: getting wed for money or like Suggested revision: marrying for money or love Why it matters: Like is the wrong noun; the intended word is love.
- 9. Natural opening Original: Marriage is one of the most important ceremonies in human’s life. Suggested revision: Marriage is one of the most important decisions in a person's life. Why it matters: This is more natural and accurate than calling marriage a ceremony.
- 10. Clarify money view Original: People who oppose wedding for love say that marriages cannot be successful if the couple has a scarcity of money. Suggested revision: People who oppose marrying only for love argue that a marriage may fail if the couple lacks financial security. Why it matters: The revised sentence states the financial argument clearly.
- 11. Academic wording Original: Money takes the priority and the love flies in the air if people cannot live a comfortable life. Suggested revision: Financial pressure can become the priority, and affection may fade if a couple cannot live comfortably. Why it matters: The original contains an unnatural idiom and article errors.
- 12. Fix structure Original: Having a splendid vacation, enjoying luxurious holidays together are memorable and people fell in love with each other. Suggested revision: Splendid vacations and luxurious holidays can create memorable experiences and help people fall in love with each other. Why it matters: The original has subject-verb and tense problems.
Suggested Rewrites
- ceremonies in human’s life events in a person's life
- types of wedding types of marriage
- oppose wedding for love oppose marrying for love
- the love flies in the air love may fade
- people fell in love people fall in love
- In old days In the old days
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The essay discusses both marrying for money and marrying for love, and gives a clear opinion. Some reasoning is underdeveloped and the money side could be evaluated more critically.
Explain why financial security matters but should not be the main basis of marriage.
Coherence and Cohesion
The line of argument is clear, but the essay is mostly one long paragraph and transitions are limited.
Use separate paragraphs for introduction, money argument, love argument, and conclusion.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is mostly appropriate, with some effective phrases, but there are awkward collocations and a few wrong word choices.
Use relationship vocabulary accurately: financial security, compatibility, affection, arranged marriage, marital stability.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar is generally understandable with some complex forms, but article use, prepositions, and verb forms need attention.
Check countable nouns and prepositional phrases, especially wedding/marriage and condition/conditions.