Some people say that material possessions bring happiness in life, but others suggest that they are useless in terms of providing happiness. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
The debate on whether material possessions contribute to happiness in life has been a subject of discussion for centuries. While some argue that material possessions bring happiness and comfort, others contend that true happiness lies in non-material aspects of life, such as relationships and personal fulfilment. This essay will explore both perspectives and argue that while material possessions can provide temporary pleasure, they are not the ultimate source of genuine and lasting happiness.
Those who advocate for the significance of material possessions argue that they can bring immediate pleasure and gratification. Acquiring new gadgets, luxurious items, or a dream car can provide a sense of accomplishment and elevate one's mood. Moreover, material possessions can enhance comfort and convenience in daily life, making it easier to enjoy various experiences and activities. For instance, owning the latest smartphone can bring joy and excitement, as it offers advanced features and functionalities that enhance communication and entertainment.
Conversely, proponents of the view that material possessions are useless in terms of providing happiness emphasize the significance of non-material aspects of life. Genuine happiness is often associated with strong relationships, a sense of purpose, and personal growth. Fulfilling experiences, such as spending quality time with loved ones, pursuing hobbies, or engaging in community service, can offer profound and lasting happiness. Research has shown that individuals who prioritise experiences over material possessions report higher levels of life satisfaction and overall well-being.
In my opinion, happiness that derives from material possessions is often short-lived and subject to diminishing returns. Consequently, the pursuit of material possessions can lead to a cycle of materialism and discontent, as genuine fulfilment is elusive through mere acquisition. On the contrary, investing time and energy in nurturing meaningful relationships and personal growth can foster a sense of contentment and happiness that transcends material desires.
In pithy, while material possessions can provide temporary pleasure and comfort, they are not the sole determinants of true and lasting happiness. The pursuit of non-material aspects, such as meaningful relationships and personal growth, plays a pivotal role in achieving genuine contentment.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove redundant phrase Original: happiness in life Suggested revision: happiness Why it matters: Happiness already refers to a state experienced in life.
- 2. Use concise debate phrase Original: subject of discussion Suggested revision: topic of debate Why it matters: The revision is more concise and avoids repeating 'discussion' after 'debate'.
- 3. Use natural advocacy phrase Original: advocate for the significance Suggested revision: emphasize the importance Why it matters: 'Emphasize the importance' is the natural collocation for highlighting value.
- 4. Use noun modifier Original: luxurious Suggested revision: luxury Why it matters: 'Luxury' functions as the standard noun modifier before 'items'.
- 5. Remove redundant synonym Original: features and functionalities Suggested revision: features Why it matters: 'Features' already covers the phone's functions in this context.
- 6. Use concise opposing claim Original: are useless in terms of providing happiness Suggested revision: cannot provide happiness Why it matters: The revision states the same view directly and concisely.
- 7. Use natural fulfilment phrase Original: offer profound and lasting happiness Suggested revision: provide deep and lasting fulfilment Why it matters: 'Provide fulfilment' is a more natural collocation for meaningful experiences.
- 8. Use correct participle Original: happiness that derives from Suggested revision: happiness derived from Why it matters: The passive participle correctly means happiness that comes from possessions.
- 9. Use comparison transition Original: On the contrary Suggested revision: By contrast Why it matters: The sentence contrasts two investments rather than directly contradicting the previous claim.
- 10. Use correct summary phrase Original: pithy Suggested revision: summary Why it matters: 'In pithy' is not an idiomatic concluding expression.
- 11. Tighten repeated pleasure wording Suggested revision: Condense repeated references to pleasure, gratification, mood, joy, and excitement so the smartphone example follows the convenience claim more directly. Why it matters: Several near-synonyms repeat the same benefit and slow paragraph progression.
Suggested Rewrites
- happiness in life happiness
- subject of discussion topic of debate
- advocate for the significance emphasize the importance
- luxurious luxury
- features and functionalities features
- are useless in terms of providing happiness cannot provide happiness
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay fully discusses both perspectives and sustains a nuanced, clearly expressed opinion, with strong development of temporary pleasure versus lasting fulfilment. Its main limitation is minor stylistic imprecision, particularly the incorrect closing phrase “In pithy” and some repetition of key terms. The priority is to refine those isolated expressions and vary references without weakening the essay’s precise, well-organised argument.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both views are thoroughly addressed, and the writer's clear opinion is developed through relevant reasoning and well-chosen examples.
Add one concrete illustration of diminishing returns or lasting experiential satisfaction to make the final evaluation even more tangible.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are sequenced logically through the two views, evaluation, and conclusion, with cohesive devices used effectively throughout.
Replace “On the contrary” in the opinion paragraph with a connector that more precisely signals comparison, such as “By contrast.”
Lexical Resource
The response uses broad, precise vocabulary for pleasure, fulfilment, materialism, and well-being, despite isolated awkward wording and repetition.
Replace “In pithy” with “In summary” and vary repeated references to “material possessions” and “happiness” where clarity permits.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is controlled accurately, and the few minor errors do not impede meaning.
Preserve this grammatical control while checking fixed introductory phrases and keeping list structures fully parallel.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that material possessions bring happiness in life, but others suggest that they are useless in terms of providing happiness. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.