Due to the change in women’s roles in modern society, men are now the ones suffering from sexual discrimination. How far do you agree with this statement?
Sample Response
Discrimination against men and womenbetween the man and the woman is a pressing issuea burning issue to discuss. The roles of men and women have changed in societyin the society compared with 20 years agothan it was 20 years ago and this change is faster these days. Over timeWith the advancement of time, now women are dominant in different roles while men are experiencing sex discriminationsuffering the sexual disparities. I agree with the statement and the reasons for my viewreasons behind the agreement are as followsfollowed. Earlier, before 2000, women were subject to dominationsubject to be dominated everywhere. They had the traditional role of caring for the hometypical roles to care for the home. But after the millennium, a sudden change took place everywhere. The majority of womenThe majority of the women became aware of their rights, responsibilities and changed their roles. The woman who used to be escorted by family members is now free to move anywhere, runs her own business, makes deals perfectly, and leads her own life. Undoubtedly this is a positive change in their roles. But with that, a growing number of women are now denying their responsibilities to their familiestheir responsibility for their family and men are helpless in this regardregards. The positive changes have made women independent and are prioritised in all sectors of development, economy, education, healthcare, jobs etc. But unfortunately, they are replacing the roles of men. They are occupying the positions of men and dominating the world. As a result, now males are becoming subject to sex discriminationturning subject to sexual discrimination as the women experienced in previousyester decades. The changed circumstancesThe hanged scenarios led males to be less prioritised in different sectors, especially the most important sector - employment. The discrimination is visible when a university decides tothe reserve 50% seats for the women or the local parliament have a certain percentage of seats reserved for the women. I had such a real-life experience last monthin last month. I went for an interview with a multinational corporation against the position of Junior executive. I was surprised that the corporation decided to recruit females more in number than males in that position. We were only three male applicants competing for a single post while there were 15 women against 10 chairs of junior executives. The experience evidently testifies women are more engaged with out of home activities and the roles they played before changed greatly which now suffers men in terms to sexual discrimination.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The essay gives an explicit position and supports it with examples of reserved university, parliamentary, and employment places, so the central argument remains identifiable. However, development relies heavily on broad assertions about women replacing men, the response lacks a concluding synthesis, and the long single paragraph weakens progression. The highest priority is to distinguish equal opportunity from discrimination, justify any claimed disadvantage with balanced reasoning, and end with a clear conclusion.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear agreement position and relevant examples address the question, but key claims are generalised, insufficiently justified, and not consolidated in a conclusion.
Explain when preferential policies would constitute unfair discrimination against men and acknowledge why such policies may exist before defending the final extent of agreement.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response moves broadly from historical change to current policies and a personal example, but single-block organisation, repetition, and the missing conclusion weaken coherence.
Use an introduction, two focused body paragraphs, and a conclusion, with one paragraph explaining policy and the other evaluating the employment example.
Lexical Resource
The essay attempts varied language about social roles and discrimination, but frequent inappropriate collocations and word-form errors make expression imprecise.
Use gender discrimination, traditionally confined to domestic roles, disadvantaged, previous decades, changing circumstances, and applicants for positions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is usually recoverable, but frequent errors in comparison, agreement, articles, prepositions, relative clauses, and sentence construction reduce control.
Rewrite complex claims in shorter complete sentences and correct forms such as have changed since, the reasons are as follows, in this regard, and in terms of.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Due to the change in women’s roles in modern society, men are now the ones suffering from sexual discrimination. How far do you agree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.