Today, TV channels broadcast men’s sports shows more than women’s sport shows. Why is this the case? Should TV channels give equal showtime for each?
Sample Response
It is common practice for most TV networks to focus more on men’s athletics rather than women’s. In my opinion, this is a natural byproduct of the history of sports and there should be more equal emphasis depending on the sport in question.
Men’s sports are more popular because they have developed further. In the past, athletics was always the primary domain of men and women were relegated to more domestic roles. Modern society understands this was discriminatory but the result, higher quality of play among male sports, cannot be argued. A good example of this would be professional basketball where the male leagues, such as the NBA, feature some of the greatest athletes in the world, executing complex coaching schemes, and consistently showcasing high skill levels. Women’s basketball, while it has developed considerably in the last two decades, is not the same level of entertainment though this may change in the coming years.
As this situation may require time to remedy, only the ratings can justify equal programming time. There are sports where this is already the case essentially, such as tennis, where women receive equal prize money and the ratings are comparable. In the United States, this also applies for international football tournaments, where the female team regularly advances far beyond their male counterparts. In these examples, it is warranted to give female athletics at least, if not more, broadcast time. However, mandating this policy for all sports before they are ready and the audience exists is likely to produce a strong backlash and in fact hinder the progress of women’s sports.
In conclusion, there are institutional reasons for the disparity in the time television channels dedicate to men’s and women’s sports and this should be corrected on a case by case basis. Viewers will decide themselves which sports deserve the most attention, regardless of gender.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct comparison structure Original: focus more on men’s athletics rather than women’s Suggested revision: focus on men’s athletics more than women’s Why it matters: Use “more than” rather than mixing “more” with “rather than” in this comparison.
- 2. Remove illogical degree Original: more equal emphasis Suggested revision: equal emphasis Why it matters: “Equal” already denotes equivalence, so “more equal” is inappropriate here.
- 3. Add required verb phrase Original: is not the same level of entertainment Suggested revision: does not offer the same level of entertainment Why it matters: The subject is a sport, so it needs a verb such as “offer” before the noun phrase.
- 4. Place adverb naturally Original: where this is already the case essentially Suggested revision: where this is essentially already the case Why it matters: Moving “essentially” next to the claim it qualifies improves clarity.
- 5. Correct preposition Original: for Suggested revision: to Why it matters: The verb “apply” takes “to” when identifying a relevant case.
- 6. Use comparative phrasing Original: advances far beyond their male counterparts Suggested revision: advances much further than its male counterpart Why it matters: “Further than” correctly compares how far the two teams progress, and the singular forms agree with “team.”
- 7. Use natural category term Original: female athletics Suggested revision: women’s sports Why it matters: “Women’s sports” is the standard term for the category being discussed.
- 8. Complete the comparison Original: at least, if not more, broadcast time Suggested revision: at least as much broadcast time, if not more Why it matters: The comparison requires “as much” to form a complete parallel structure.
- 9. Add reflexive preposition Original: decide themselves Suggested revision: decide for themselves Why it matters: The idiomatic structure is “decide for themselves.”
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: Modern society understands this was discriminatory but the result, higher quality of play among male sports, cannot be argued. Suggested revision: Modern society recognizes that this was discriminatory, but the resulting difference in the quality of play between men’s and women’s sports is undeniable. Why it matters: The rewrite fixes the missing conjunction and replaces the unclear phrase “play among male sports.”
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: A good example of this would be professional basketball where the male leagues, such as the NBA, feature some of the greatest athletes in the world, executing complex coaching schemes, and consistently showcasing high skill levels. Suggested revision: Professional basketball is a good example: men’s leagues such as the NBA feature some of the world’s greatest athletes, sophisticated coaching schemes, and consistently high levels of skill. Why it matters: The rewrite removes the misplaced modifier that makes the athletes appear to execute the coaching schemes.
Suggested Rewrites
- focus more on men’s athletics rather than women’s focus on men’s athletics more than women’s
- more equal emphasis equal emphasis
- is not the same level of entertainment does not offer the same level of entertainment
- where this is already the case essentially where this is essentially already the case
- for to
- advances far beyond their male counterparts advances much further than its male counterpart
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response's strongest feature is its nuanced, clearly sustained position that broadcast equality should depend on audience demand, supported by relevant comparisons across several sports. Its main limitation is a small but noticeable set of awkward or inaccurate constructions that reduce precision despite consistently clear meaning. The highest-priority improvement is to edit collocations and clause structures carefully, especially where comparisons, applicability, and audience readiness are expressed.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay addresses both questions directly, offers a clear qualified position, and develops its reasoning with relevant sporting examples.
Clarify how the historical explanation connects to present viewing demand so the causal argument becomes more fully convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically from historical causes to a conditional policy position, with well-focused paragraphs and clear referencing.
Tighten the link between ratings and the proposed case-by-case policy so the second body paragraph's logic is even more explicit.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is broad and topic-appropriate, though several collocations such as male sports and applies for are not fully natural.
Use more idiomatic comparative and broadcasting collocations, such as men's competitions, applies to, and the same level of entertainment.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is generally controlled, but occasional errors and awkward clauses remain noticeable.
Edit comparative structures and pronoun reference, particularly in phrases such as is not the same level and before they are ready.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Today, TV channels broadcast men’s sports shows more than women’s sport shows. Why is this the case? Should TV channels give equal showtime for each?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.