Is mental strength important for success in sport or is it more important to be strong and fit for success in sport? Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
The factors contributing to performance in sport are continually being investigated by sports scientists and athletes. While some people would argue that a person’s physical attributes determines their level of performance in sport, I believe that mental conditioning is also a highly important factor.
On one hand, it is undeniable to say that a person’s physical characteristics play a major role in their performance in sport. In some sports, being able to run extremely fast, or lift or throw something very heavy is one of the main aspects of the sport. Without a strong physical body, and high level of coordination, people would not be able to perform to a high level. Take many Olympic sports for example. In the 100m sprint, athletes need to have powerful legs in order to be able to run at high speeds. There is of course some mental conditioning needed, but without strong legs, you cannot compete at a high level. Another good example is Olympic weightlifting. The basis of being able to lift extremely heavy weights is powerful, conditioned muscles.
However, high levels of strength and fitness are not the only factor that allows athletes to perform well. To be able to consistently perform at a very high level, athletes also need to be mentally strong. Professional athletes in particular need to have the determination and focus to be able to continually train and perform for many years, despite the many setbacks that they may face, such as injuries and loss in competition. Being able to mentally focus and concentrate whilst under pressure during a competition is also extremely important. For example, maintaining composure whilst being surrounded by thousands of screaming fans when trying to kick the winning penalty kick in a football match would be extremely difficult, and this is where mental strength is highly important.
In conclusion, although physical strength and ability are highly important in sports performance, mental strength and focus also play an important role, particularly when it comes to elite athletes and high levels of performance and competition.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix subject agreement Original: determines Suggested revision: determine Why it matters: The plural subject attributes requires the plural verb determine.
- 2. Complete the linker Original: On one hand Suggested revision: On the one hand Why it matters: The standard paired discourse marker is on the one hand.
- 3. Remove faulty pattern Original: it is undeniable to say that Suggested revision: it is undeniable that Why it matters: Undeniable takes a that-clause directly in this construction.
- 4. Fix coordination Original: strong physical body, and high level of coordination Suggested revision: strong body and a high level of coordination Why it matters: The coordinated noun phrases need parallel articles and no comma before and.
- 5. Set off example phrase Original: many Olympic sports for example Suggested revision: many Olympic sports, for example Why it matters: The parenthetical phrase for example should be preceded by a comma here.
- 6. Remove redundancy Original: in order to be able to run Suggested revision: to run Why it matters: The shorter infinitive expresses the same purpose without redundant wording.
- 7. Use natural word order Original: There is of course some mental conditioning needed Suggested revision: Some mental conditioning is, of course, needed Why it matters: The revised order is more natural and correctly marks the parenthetical phrase.
- 8. Use natural noun form Original: loss Suggested revision: losses Why it matters: The plural noun naturally describes the repeated competitive setbacks athletes may face.
- 9. Avoid redundant wording Original: mentally focus and concentrate Suggested revision: maintain their mental focus Why it matters: Focus and concentrate duplicate the same idea, so one precise expression is sufficient.
- 10. Use concise phrasing Original: continually being investigated by sports scientists and athletes Suggested revision: the subject of ongoing investigation by sports scientists and athletes Why it matters: The revision expresses the continuing research more directly and formally.
- 11. Avoid repetition Original: their performance in sport Suggested revision: their sporting performance Why it matters: The adjective sporting removes the repeated use of the noun sport.
- 12. Fix the collocation Original: to Suggested revision: at Why it matters: Perform at a high level is the standard collocation.
Suggested Rewrites
- determines determine
- On one hand On the one hand
- it is undeniable to say that it is undeniable that
- strong physical body, and high level of coordination strong body and a high level of coordination
- many Olympic sports for example many Olympic sports, for example
- in order to be able to run to run
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response is strongest in its well-developed, concrete explanation of how physical capability and mental resilience contribute to sporting performance, with examples that make both perspectives convincing. The main limitation is that the writer's comparative opinion remains insufficiently explicit: mental conditioning is called important without clearly stating whether it outweighs physical fitness. The highest-priority improvement is to establish and sustain a precise judgment about their relative importance.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are explored thoroughly with relevant examples, but the required opinion does not clearly decide which factor is more important.
State an explicit comparative position in the introduction and conclusion, then connect each body paragraph back to that judgment.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically sequenced, with focused paragraphs and cohesive links that guide the reader smoothly through the discussion.
Refine the transition into the first body paragraph so the paired contrast is fully balanced and less formulaic.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is flexible, precise, and well suited to the topic, with effective terms for physical performance and mental resilience.
Reduce repeated uses of important and performance by selecting more varied, context-specific wording where it improves precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex sentences is handled accurately overall, with only occasional agreement and article errors.
Check subject-verb agreement and noun-phrase completeness in sentences involving attributes, factors, and levels of coordination.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Is mental strength important for success in sport or is it more important to be strong and fit for success in sport? Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.