Some people think that the best way to improve road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving a car or motorbike. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Some people believe that raising the minimum driving age is the best solution to enhance road safety. I disagree with this idea because I believe that other methods are equally important and should be taken into account as well.
On the one hand, I agree that increasing the minimum age for getting a driving licence can be an effective road safety measure. Firstly, since people are often more mature and have more life experience when they get older, they can make quicker and wiser decisions to avoid dangerous situations on the road compared to younger drivers. My father, for example, will never use his phone when driving as he knows that he could easily lose his concentration and cause an accident. Secondly, raising the minimum driving age can allow adolescents to have more time to sharpen their driving skills. They can attend defensive driving courses to learn how to deal with different driving scenarios, which will help them minimize the risk of accidents when driving in the future.
On the other hand, I think that better road safety can be achieved by other more effective methods without increasing the driving age. To begin with, more stringent traffic regulations should be imposed, which would act as a deterrent to would-be traffic law breakers. In Singapore, people who run red lights are fined heavily, and therefore this will make them more responsible in order to avoid future punishments. In addition, governments should allocate financial resources to improving public transport, which would encourage citizens to drive their private cars or motorbikes less. As a result, these residents will no longer worry about the risks that they may face when driving their own vehicles, such as drunk driving or falling asleep at the wheel.
In conclusion, while raising the legal driving age can make our roads safer to some extent, I believe that governments should also introduce other road safety measures that are discussed above.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. More natural phrasing Original: best solution to enhance road safety Suggested revision: best way to improve road safety Why it matters: This collocation expresses the idea more naturally and directly.
- 2. Remove redundant addition Original: equally important and should be taken into account as well Suggested revision: also important and should be taken into account Why it matters: Using both “equally” and “as well” makes the additive meaning repetitive.
- 3. Use formal collocation Original: getting Suggested revision: obtaining Why it matters: “Obtaining a driving licence” is more precise in formal writing.
- 4. Use habitual present Original: will never use his phone Suggested revision: never uses his phone Why it matters: The simple present is needed for this example of a regular habit.
- 5. Use concise wording Original: can allow adolescents to have more time Suggested revision: would give adolescents more time Why it matters: This wording states the proposed consequence more concisely and accurately.
- 6. Use precise term Original: would-be traffic law breakers Suggested revision: potential traffic-law offenders Why it matters: This is a more concise and conventional term for people who may break traffic laws.
- 7. Fix result linkage Original: and therefore this will make them Suggested revision: which encourages them to be Why it matters: The replacement removes the unclear reference of “this” and links the result smoothly.
- 8. Choose accurate verb Original: drive Suggested revision: use Why it matters: People drive cars but ride motorbikes, so “use” accurately covers both vehicles.
- 9. Keep reference consistent Original: residents Suggested revision: citizens Why it matters: Repeating “citizens” keeps the reference to the preceding group clear.
- 10. Reduce relative clause Original: that are discussed above Suggested revision: discussed above Why it matters: A reduced relative clause is more concise while preserving the meaning.
Suggested Rewrites
- best solution to enhance road safety best way to improve road safety
- equally important and should be taken into account as well also important and should be taken into account
- getting obtaining
- will never use his phone never uses his phone
- can allow adolescents to have more time would give adolescents more time
- would-be traffic law breakers potential traffic-law offenders
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response presents a clear, balanced position and develops several relevant road-safety measures in a logical, easy-to-follow structure. Its main limitation is that some support is only loosely connected to the precise claim, particularly the example about the writer's father and the public-transport consequence. Prioritize explaining exactly how each example demonstrates improved road safety and why the alternatives are more effective than raising the age.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The question is fully addressed with a clear position and relevant ideas, although some supporting examples do not directly prove the central comparisons.
Make each example explicitly demonstrate why the proposed measure improves road safety and why it rivals or exceeds an age increase.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-controlled paragraphs, and cohesive devices guide the reader clearly despite a somewhat conventional structure.
Use more content-specific transitions between claims and consequences instead of relying mainly on standard enumerative linkers.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise, with effective topic language such as stringent regulations and deterrent, though a few collocations are slightly awkward.
Refine less natural phrases such as future punishments and choose wording that expresses the intended consequence more precisely.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately, and nearly all sentences are error-free and easy to process.
Polish minor article and reference choices while retaining the strong variety and control of complex sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that the best way to improve road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving a car or motorbike. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.