Some people think it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that girls and boys benefit more from attending mixed schools. Which education system do you think is better? Why?
Sample Response
(View: Mixed schools are better) The school environment, teachers and the curriculum play a crucial role in developing students' overall performance and personality. Having studied in both settings - all girls and mixed school environment, I have experienced the differences between these two systems. And, I believe that mixed schools offer more benefits to students. No doubt, girls and boys are different with respect to their thoughts, preferences, physical orientations and the way they respond to different situations. Studying in a same-sex school unquestionably helps students become comfortable with their classmates and develop comradery easily. It saves them from unnecessary distractions and helps them focus more on their studies. However, when girls and boys study, play and work on school projects together, they learn from each other, and this activity catalyses moral respect. It allows them to understand their mutual differences better and be more considerate towards each other. The neutral treatment helps them to look beyond gender and treat individuals equally. Such students find it comparatively easier to cope with mixed-gender situations, at offices or on social occasions. Subsequently, it facilitates them with skills to create meaningful and lasting relationships with people. Moreover, men and women share the same workspace in modern offices. Being able to work efficiently with colleagues is just as important as having the right skills for a job. Even outside the workspace, one has to interact with both genders almost on a daily basis. Thus, the mixed school atmosphere prepares students for life outside its compound walls. To conclude, I believe that students get an opportunity to develop their overall social skills when they study in mixed schools. It exposes them to shared activities and prepares them for future job places.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove source heading Original: (View: Mixed schools are better) Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: This editorial heading is not part of the essay and interrupts the opening.
- 2. Use parallel plurals Original: all girls and mixed school environment Suggested revision: all-girls and mixed-school environments Why it matters: The two school settings need parallel compound modifiers and a plural head noun.
- 3. Remove abrupt linker Original: And, I believe Suggested revision: I believe Why it matters: The coordinating conjunction and comma make the thesis opening unnecessarily abrupt.
- 4. Use precise concession Original: No doubt Suggested revision: Admittedly Why it matters: A formal concessive adverb signals more clearly that this point precedes the contrast.
- 5. Choose accurate term Original: orientations Suggested revision: characteristics Why it matters: Orientation does not naturally describe the physical differences intended here.
- 6. Correct spelling Original: comradery Suggested revision: camaraderie Why it matters: Camaraderie is the standard spelling of this noun.
- 7. Use natural collocation Original: catalyses moral respect Suggested revision: fosters mutual respect Why it matters: Fosters mutual respect is a clearer and more natural collocation for the intended result.
- 8. Clarify reference Original: The neutral treatment Suggested revision: This equal treatment Why it matters: This points back more clearly to the preceding description of mutual consideration.
- 9. Correct preposition Original: at Suggested revision: in Why it matters: In is the appropriate preposition for situations occurring inside workplaces.
- 10. Correct verb pattern Original: facilitates them with skills Suggested revision: equips them with the skills Why it matters: Equip someone with skills is the natural verb pattern in this context.
- 11. Use standard noun Original: future job places Suggested revision: future workplaces Why it matters: Workplaces is the standard term for places where people will work.
- 12. Use an em dash Original: settings - Suggested revision: settings— Why it matters: An em dash is cleaner than a spaced hyphen for introducing the two settings.
Suggested Rewrites
- (View: Mixed schools are better) Delete
- all girls and mixed school environment all-girls and mixed-school environments
- And, I believe I believe
- No doubt Admittedly
- orientations characteristics
- comradery camaraderie
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay states a clear preference for mixed schools and develops relevant reasons around mutual respect, social skills, and preparation for adult workplaces, while briefly acknowledging the focus advantage of single-sex education. Its main weakness is expression: several awkward collocations reduce precision, and the single-block layout makes the argument feel less controlled. The priority is to organise each reason in a separate paragraph and support one central benefit with a more concrete example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
A clear preference is maintained and supported with several relevant benefits, though some claims remain general rather than fully illustrated.
Develop one concrete example showing how mixed-school collaboration prepares a student for a later workplace or social situation.
Coherence and Cohesion
The reasoning progresses logically from limited benefits of separation to stronger benefits of mixed education, but the single-block format weakens organisation.
Use distinct paragraphs for the introduction, the alternative view, social development, workplace preparation, and conclusion.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and topic-appropriate, but several collocations such as 'catalyses moral respect' and 'facilitates them with skills' sound unnatural.
Prefer precise phrases such as 'fosters mutual respect', 'equips students with skills', and 'future workplaces'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is generally well controlled, with occasional errors in punctuation, article use, and reference.
Revise the opening comparison for grammatical parallelism and ensure pronouns such as 'it' have an unmistakable referent.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that girls and boys benefit more from attending mixed schools. Which education system do you think is better? Why?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.