Some people say that mobile phones should not be allowed in public places, others argue that people should be free to use their mobiles wherever they like. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
Different people have different opinions about the useusage of one of the most commonly used personal devicesfidgeting gadgets —mobile phones-mobile phones in public places. While I believe that the rule of restricting their userestricting its usage could be beneficial to a certain extent, I also argueput forth that it would create some negative consequences forto the regular users and during emergenciesin people's emergencies as this rule would become overly restrictivea scrutiny.
There are several arguments to support this restriction: First, if mobile phones were used freelyhad the mobile phones been let free in public places like libraries, there would be a higher probability for other peoplethe other people to get distracted. This distraction could completely spoil the reading environment that libraries are intended to providefor which they are meant for. Secondly, if there is a ban on the usage of mobile phones in railway stations, is there a possibility for the work to progress without any disruption or stagnation. Take for an instance, passengers who are supposed to buy tickets or the issuing authorities have a conversation over their mobile phones while they are supposed to do their duties, a delay occursthere happens a delay in the workflow for no important reason. Though the ban imposed could bring benefits, it is the need of the hour to analyse the drawbacks of it.
People who oppose the restriction of this rule state that a few negative sides are in the limelight. According to their view, the more they use the mobile phones, the more they will be connected with their circle- be it their family, colleagues or friends. Due to the restriction imposedrestriction placed on, they might not find time to catch up with their loved onesdear ones’ and this would be more appropriate for the commuters who use mobile phones while commuting. Besides this, in cases of emergencies wherein a person has to answer a callpick up the call in public places, this rule would be an obstruction. As a result, the information which has to be conveyed to them could be delayed and this may make a great difference in their lives.
By and large, the restriction of mobile phones in public places has its own fair share of advantages and disadvantages. Therefore, in my opinion, wherever we use a mobile phone, we should make sure that no person or work is disturbed because of our cell phone usage. It is also suggested that every person should think by instinct and use mobile phones as and when it is required.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay addresses both sides with relevant examples and arrives at a sensible, qualified opinion favouring considerate use rather than a blanket ban. Its main weakness is the frequency of awkward or inaccurate expressions and sentence constructions, which sometimes blur otherwise logical points. The highest priority is to express each argument in plainer, more idiomatic language and edit sentence boundaries, articles, and clause structures for consistent clarity.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed with relevant reasons and examples, and the writer gives a clear, qualified personal position.
Make the opinion explicit from the outset and explain more precisely how selective restrictions would work in different public settings.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clear paragraphing and an overall logical sequence support progression, although linking is sometimes mechanical or awkward.
Use smoother topic sentences and internal transitions instead of relying heavily on formulaic markers such as firstly and secondly.
Lexical Resource
The response has sufficient range for the topic, but frequent collocational and word-choice errors reduce naturalness and precision.
Replace strained phrases with idiomatic alternatives and check the exact meaning and grammatical pattern of less common words.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer attempts varied and complex sentences, but recurring errors in articles, agreement, punctuation, and clause construction remain noticeable.
Break overloaded sentences into controlled units and proofread each clause for a clear subject, finite verb, and correct article use.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that mobile phones should not be allowed in public places, others argue that people should be free to use their mobiles wherever they like. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.