Some people think that excessive use of mobile phones and computers badly affects teenagers' writing and reading skills. Do you agree or disagree with the statement? Give your opinion.
Sample Response
It is true that the heavy use of computers and cell phones would have a negative impact on young people. However, I am not totally convinced that it would necessarily deter their writing and reading skills. On one hand, relying too much on computers and mobile phones would effect on teenagers not to become proficient in some basic skills. Since computers and mobile phones come with a word processor accompanied with spellchecker, teenager's handwriting will probably suffer. For instance, young people who excessively depend on computers or mobile phones may not be able to write a letter by hand. In addition, reading through computers and mobile phones do not encourage teenagers to read long stories or high volume research books. They do not develop a reading habit that enables them to broaden their knowledge. Furthermore reading long passages through these devices could be very harmful to their eyes. On the other hand, I believe that for some reasons, computers and cell phones would benefit young people's reading and writing abilities. Firstly, reading through computers and cell phones engage young people in learning and grasping knowledge. The ease of access to the information makes reading more interesting. For example, many of us stop reading a certain book because its introduction put him or her off continuing. While by surfing the Internet we can find the information that we interested on without a need to read the whole book. Secondly, using computers and mobile phones improve some writing skills, which are useful in future jobs such as word processors for making reports, power point program, making notes in telephone or even learn the meaning or the spelling of a word that we have never come across. In conclusion, it seems to me that depending too much on computers and cell phones would bring both benefits and drawbacks.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use accurate collocation Original: deter their writing and reading skills Suggested revision: hinder the development of their writing and reading skills Why it matters: Skills are hindered in their development rather than deterred.
- 2. Complete contrast marker Original: On one hand Suggested revision: On the one hand Why it matters: The paired contrast requires the fixed expression on the one hand.
- 3. Fix article and phrase Original: accompanied with spellchecker Suggested revision: with a spellchecker Why it matters: Spellchecker is a singular countable noun and needs an article.
- 4. Correct plural possessive Original: teenager's handwriting Suggested revision: teenagers' handwriting Why it matters: The statement concerns teenagers generally, so the possessive noun should be plural.
- 5. Fix preposition and agreement Original: reading through computers and mobile phones do not encourage Suggested revision: reading on computers and mobile phones does not encourage Why it matters: Reading takes on for devices, and the singular gerund subject requires does.
- 6. Use natural description Original: high volume research books Suggested revision: lengthy research books Why it matters: High volume does not naturally describe the length of a book.
- 7. Add linking comma Original: Furthermore reading Suggested revision: Furthermore, reading Why it matters: The introductory linking adverb should be followed by a comma.
- 8. Use precise noun Original: eyes Suggested revision: eyesight Why it matters: Eyesight more precisely identifies the faculty that reading on devices may affect.
- 9. Use natural quantifier Original: some Suggested revision: several Why it matters: Several is the natural quantifier when introducing multiple reasons.
- 10. Fix preposition and agreement Original: reading through computers and cell phones engage Suggested revision: reading on computers and cell phones engages Why it matters: The gerund subject is singular and reading takes on with devices.
- 11. Improve collocation Original: grasping Suggested revision: acquiring Why it matters: Acquire knowledge is the more natural academic collocation.
- 12. Remove unnecessary article Original: access to the information Suggested revision: access to information Why it matters: Information is used in a general sense here and does not need the definite article.
Suggested Rewrites
- deter their writing and reading skills hinder the development of their writing and reading skills
- On one hand On the one hand
- accompanied with spellchecker with a spellchecker
- teenager's handwriting teenagers' handwriting
- reading through computers and mobile phones do not encourage reading on computers and mobile phones does not encourage
- high volume research books lengthy research books
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response considers both harmful and beneficial effects of heavy device use and supports its discussion with concrete examples. Its main weakness is that the qualified position is not expressed precisely enough, while a few points, such as eye damage, drift from reading and writing skills and recurring language errors weaken clarity. The priority is to state the exact extent of agreement and keep every example focused on literacy outcomes.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both sides are addressed with relevant support and a qualified position, but the final judgment remains broad and some material is tangential.
State exactly how far you disagree and link every supporting point directly to changes in teenagers' reading or writing ability.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a clear two-sided progression and uses signposting effectively, although the single-block presentation and some long sequences weaken organization.
Use distinct paragraphs for the introduction, each side, and the conclusion, with one central idea developed in each body paragraph.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied for education and technology, but several collocations and prepositions are inaccurate or unnatural.
Replace awkward combinations with precise phrasing and check verb-preposition patterns, especially when describing effects, access, and interest.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied complex sentences and remains generally clear, but agreement, pronoun, article, and clause errors occur repeatedly.
Proofread complex sentences for subject-verb agreement and complete dependent clauses, then simplify any structure that cannot be controlled accurately.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that excessive use of mobile phones and computers badly affects teenagers' writing and reading skills. Do you agree or disagree with the statement? Give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.