Modern appliances in the home have become more common, leaving no doubt that advances in technology have improved our lifestyle. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
We started living in a cave, as history suggests, and thanks to the novelty and advancement of modern technology, we now live in a grand apartment with many facilities which were unimaginable even a century ago. From an uncertain life where our ancestors had to deal with constant fears of darkness and lurking predators, we have a remarkably comfortable and advanced lifestyle and this has all been possible due to technological advancements.
It is often argued by many that modern technology has given us comfort but has cost us dearly. As an example, they point out that we have become less active and more dependent on machines, especially on household appliances. According to them, this is a backward step and apparatuses cannot improve our lifestyle. What they fail to realise is that the blessing of science has eradicated many deadly diseases that had often wiped out cities and made us vulnerable like ants in the water. Advancement in technology is not a one-dimensional straight line, it is a spark of light, and without it, we would still be at the mercy of natural calamities. People may blame science for the contamination of food or the advent of fast food, but it is worth mentioning that without science, we would have a world war for the food crisis.
The household appliances like washing machines and vacuum cleaners have reduced the manual labour of cleaning while rice cookers, microwave ovens, coffee makers and electric kettles have improved the way we cook at home. We no longer need to end our day when the sun sets as electric bulbs illuminate the world. Thus, it is easy to criticise the innovation and wonder science has brought to our life but living without them is utterly impossible. For instance, imagine what the world would be without electricity, refrigerators, TVs and the internet - unimaginable even for a day.
To conclude, it is undeniable that modern household appliances have made our tasks easier, faster and more accurate. With this, we have a better lifestyle and more time to spend with our family members or to enjoy our leisure activities.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use a precise subject Original: We started living in a cave Suggested revision: Humans initially lived in caves Why it matters: The revision avoids using 'we' for distant ancestors and makes the generalisation more natural.
- 2. Remove redundant wording Original: novelty and advancement of modern technology Suggested revision: development of modern technology Why it matters: 'Novelty' and 'advancement' overlap, so one precise noun is clearer.
- 3. Avoid an overly narrow image Original: a grand apartment Suggested revision: well-equipped homes Why it matters: The plural phrase better supports the broad comparison about modern living.
- 4. Choose a natural noun Original: facilities Suggested revision: amenities Why it matters: 'Amenities' is the more natural word for conveniences within a home.
- 5. Remove redundancy Original: often argued by many Suggested revision: often argued Why it matters: 'Often' and 'by many' unnecessarily repeat the idea of frequency or prevalence.
- 6. Improve the collocation Original: given us comfort Suggested revision: made our lives more comfortable Why it matters: The replacement expresses the benefit of technology more naturally.
- 7. Use a standard transition Original: As an example Suggested revision: For example Why it matters: 'For example' is the conventional connector for introducing an illustration.
- 8. Use the contextual noun Original: apparatuses Suggested revision: appliances Why it matters: 'Appliances' accurately refers to the household machines being discussed.
- 9. Use an academic phrase Original: the blessing of science Suggested revision: advances in science Why it matters: The replacement is more precise and less figurative in an academic argument.
- 10. Clarify the time relation Original: had often wiped out cities Suggested revision: once wiped out entire cities Why it matters: The simpler past-time wording fits the general historical reference more clearly.
- 11. Remove the unclear simile Original: vulnerable like ants in the water Suggested revision: extremely vulnerable Why it matters: The original comparison is unclear and distracts from the point about disease.
- 12. Fix the war collocation Original: a world war for the food crisis Suggested revision: a global war over food shortages Why it matters: Wars are described as being fought 'over' shortages rather than 'for' a crisis.
Suggested Rewrites
- We started living in a cave Humans initially lived in caves
- novelty and advancement of modern technology development of modern technology
- a grand apartment well-equipped homes
- facilities amenities
- often argued by many often argued
- given us comfort made our lives more comfortable
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response maintains a clear agreement position and uses vivid examples to show how technology and household appliances can make life safer and more convenient. Its main limitation is that much of the discussion shifts from home appliances to science and technology in general, and several exaggerated or imprecise expressions weaken the argument. The highest-priority improvement is to build each paragraph around a specific household benefit and support it with measured, directly relevant explanation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and relevant benefits are presented, but substantial development broadens beyond household appliances.
Keep the supporting arguments centred on modern home appliances and explain their lifestyle effects in greater depth.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically paragraphed and generally easy to follow, though one body paragraph ranges across loosely connected claims.
Give each paragraph one controlling idea and remove tangential examples that interrupt its progression.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a good range of less common vocabulary, but several collocations and metaphors are imprecise or overstated.
Prefer precise, natural expressions over dramatic phrases such as comparisons involving sparks, ants, or world war.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex sentences is used with generally good control, despite some comma splices and article or phrasing errors.
Check clause boundaries and article use, especially in long sentences containing several linked claims.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Modern appliances in the home have become more common, leaving no doubt that advances in technology have improved our lifestyle. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.