Modern communication is having a negative effect on social relationships. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Technology has been changed each and every aspect of our Lifestyle. Technological advancement leads to modernization in every field. Modern communication is one of them. Some people think that there are negative consequences of modern communication on social relationships. I partially agree with this statement.
Some people think that in the past most people were living in a close-knit family and they had not any technical gadgets in order to communicate with each other, So they meet face-to-face and it leads to a positive impact on their relationship. Other than that, nowadays, many online communication sites are available such as Instagram, Facebook, and many others, in which any person can communicate with each other unknown person, so the chances of fraud are also increasing and due to this social relationships can be affected. Moreover, there is lots of difference between virtuality and reality so anyone can know the behavior of any person through face-to-face rather than through online modern communication. Hence, myriad people oppose modern communication.
On the other side, there are also some positive impacts on modern communication. Firstly, due to ever-increasing advanced technology many online social networking sites are available in which any person can make friends all over the world, and also they can learn about different cultures while communicating with each other. For example, Facebook is one of the effective communication site, where different people can share their cultures and also make a social relationship with each other. Moreover, through modern communication, any person can stand their views in front of the public and also gain knowledge after making good relationships with people.
In conclusion, as every coin has two sides, there are some negative consequences of relationships through modern communication and also some brighter side of it. Hence, I partially agree with this statement that online communication leads to only negative consequences on relationships.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix verb form Original: has been changed Suggested revision: has changed Why it matters: Use the active present perfect because technology is the agent of the change.
- 2. Lowercase common noun Original: Lifestyle Suggested revision: lifestyle Why it matters: A common noun should not be capitalized here.
- 3. Use natural phrasing Original: leads to modernization in every field Suggested revision: has modernized every field Why it matters: The revision expresses the broad change more directly and naturally.
- 4. Fix number and tense Original: were living in a close-knit family Suggested revision: lived in close-knit families Why it matters: The plural subject needs a plural family reference, and the simple past suits a past habit.
- 5. Fix negative form Original: had not any technical gadgets Suggested revision: did not have any technological devices Why it matters: Simple past negatives require did not followed by the base verb.
- 6. Match past tense Original: So they meet Suggested revision: so they met Why it matters: The verb must remain in the past tense and follow the preceding clause without a capital letter.
- 7. Clarify past result Original: it leads Suggested revision: this led Why it matters: This demonstrative gives the result a clear referent and preserves the past-time frame.
- 8. Use plural noun Original: relationship Suggested revision: relationships Why it matters: The discussion concerns relationships among many people, so the plural is needed.
- 9. Use additive linker Original: Other than that Suggested revision: In addition Why it matters: An additive transition states the relationship between these points more accurately.
- 10. Choose precise noun Original: sites Suggested revision: platforms Why it matters: Platforms is a more natural term for services such as Instagram and Facebook.
- 11. Fix relative phrase Original: in Suggested revision: through Why it matters: Through which correctly describes using the platforms as a means of communication.
- 12. Fix noun phrase Original: with each other unknown person Suggested revision: with an unknown person Why it matters: Each other cannot modify the singular noun phrase in this structure.
Suggested Rewrites
- has been changed has changed
- Lifestyle lifestyle
- leads to modernization in every field has modernized every field
- were living in a close-knit family lived in close-knit families
- had not any technical gadgets did not have any technological devices
- So they meet so they met
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response has a clear four-paragraph structure and considers both negative and positive effects while maintaining a generally understandable partial-agreement position. Its main limitation is that several ideas are repetitive or only loosely explained, while frequent grammatical and collocational errors reduce precision. The highest priority is to develop fewer arguments with specific causal explanation and then edit sentences for accurate verb forms, articles, agreement, and natural word combinations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the question, presents a partial-agreement position, and offers relevant ideas on both negative and positive effects, though development is sometimes general or repetitive.
Develop each main claim through a specific cause-and-effect explanation or concrete example, and state the qualified position more precisely in the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay progresses through a conventional introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs, and a conclusion, but linking is mechanical and some long sentences contain loosely connected clauses.
Use clearer topic sentences and divide overloaded sentences so that each supporting point follows logically from the previous one.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient vocabulary to discuss technology and relationships, but inaccurate collocations and awkward choices such as “stand their views” and “virtuality” occur repeatedly.
Prefer precise, natural combinations such as “express their views” and “online interaction,” and avoid inserting uncommon words unless their meaning and usage are secure.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied complex structures, but frequent errors with verb forms, articles, agreement, pronouns, and sentence construction weaken accuracy while meaning remains mostly clear.
Prioritize accurate clause construction by checking every sentence for a clear subject and verb, correct tense, agreement, and necessary articles.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Modern communication is having a negative effect on social relationships. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.