Compared to our parent’s generation, life has become much more stressful. As a result, stress-related illnesses are on the increase around the world. Why is stress such a problem in the modern world and what do you think can be done to overcome the problems caused by stress?
Sample Response
Nowadays stress has become a serious problem than it was in the past. Over the world, many different diseases are caused by stress. In today’s world, some people ask themselves why stress is such a big issue as well as how to reduce it. This essay will discuss the causes to stress related illnesses and solutions to deal with this problem. In the highly competitive environment stress is an illness that experienced approximately everyone because of modern tension and pressure whereas before individuals had fewer issues to think about. For example, our generation works longer hours and bear a heavy workload in comparison with the past generations. The business competition will be more serious in the future and as a result, more and more people will suffer from stress-related issues. The increasing competition and challenges in every field of life, lack of family and social bonding, increasing expenses, political instability, international tension, environmental pollution, longer working hours, high expectation and dependency of technology everywhere are some of the main reasons the stress related problems are so high these days. In comparison with the past when people did not have to think about the existence of stress, nowadays it has become a global problem. People had the same diseases in the past but they did not know for sure what the causes were. Recently the cause was found – the stress which is a serious threat to the wellbeing of human and leads to many negative symptoms that exhaust a person’s body and mind. With the less population, the competition was lesser and the environment was better in the past. That’s why they had comparatively less stress in their lives. The key to a stress-free life is being contended with whatever we have. If we can be happy with whatever we have got and aspire for a bright future, we will definitely have less stress related issues. Everyone must maintain a balanced work and social life in order to lessen the amount of stress related problems they suffer. Getting engaged in physical activities and hobbies can be another solution to address this. The employers should reduce the working hours and arrange other facilities to reduce the amount of pressure the employees feel in the workplace. Our social and family bonding can also help us to fight this problem to a great extent. There is no doubt that over the last few years stress has become one of the major reasons for serious illnesses such as heart diseases, asthma, obesity, diabetes and headaches. For this reason, ideas like relaxation centres, aromatherapies and massage centres have emerged and they can help people to reduce their mental pressure. Doing exercises, communicating with friends and families or organising a hobby will make them happier and busier in the daily routine. To sum up, life has become more stressful for our generation than the past generations and thoughtful measures could be taken to address this issue including strong relationship, engagement in activities, and working smarter than working harder and for long hours.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Form the comparison Original: a serious problem than Suggested revision: a more serious problem than Why it matters: A comparative adjective is required before 'than'.
- 2. Use natural phrase Original: Over Suggested revision: Around Why it matters: 'Around the world' is the idiomatic expression for worldwide scope.
- 3. Clarify opening phrase Original: In the highly competitive environment stress Suggested revision: In today's highly competitive environment, stress Why it matters: The revised introductory phrase needs a comma before the main clause.
- 4. Fix passive structure Original: an illness that experienced approximately everyone Suggested revision: a condition experienced by almost everyone Why it matters: The passive participle requires 'by', and 'almost everyone' is the natural quantifier.
- 5. Match the subject Original: bear Suggested revision: bears Why it matters: Both coordinated verbs must agree with the singular subject 'generation'.
- 6. Use concise comparison Original: in comparison with the past generations Suggested revision: compared with previous generations Why it matters: This is a more concise and natural comparative phrase.
- 7. Use natural collocation Original: The business competition Suggested revision: Competition in business Why it matters: The revision expresses competition within the business sphere idiomatically.
- 8. Choose precise adjective Original: will be more serious Suggested revision: will become more intense Why it matters: Competition is more naturally described as becoming intense rather than serious.
- 9. Use plural noun Original: expectation Suggested revision: expectations Why it matters: The general list refers to expectations in the plural.
- 10. Fix the collocation Original: dependency of technology Suggested revision: dependence on technology Why it matters: 'Dependence on' is the standard noun-and-preposition combination.
- 11. Fix comparative form Original: With the less population Suggested revision: With smaller populations Why it matters: Countable populations take the comparative adjective 'smaller', not 'less'.
- 12. Use precise comparison Original: competition was lesser Suggested revision: competition was less intense Why it matters: 'Less intense' is the natural way to compare the degree of competition.
Suggested Rewrites
- a serious problem than a more serious problem than
- Over Around
- In the highly competitive environment stress In today's highly competitive environment, stress
- an illness that experienced approximately everyone a condition experienced by almost everyone
- bear bears
- in comparison with the past generations compared with previous generations
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response's strongest feature is its coverage of both requested areas, offering a broad range of modern causes and practical remedies. Its main limitation is that the discussion becomes list-like, repetitive, and difficult to navigate because it is presented as one long paragraph, while frequent language errors reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to select fewer ideas, develop them clearly, and organize causes and solutions into distinct paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both causes and solutions are addressed with relevant ideas, but many points are listed rather than fully explained and supported.
Choose two principal causes and two realistic solutions, then develop each through a clear explanation of its mechanism and likely effect.
Coherence and Cohesion
A broad cause-to-solution sequence can be followed, but the single-paragraph format, repetition, and accumulation of loosely linked points weaken progression.
Use separate introduction, causes, solutions, and conclusion paragraphs, each built around a focused central idea.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient vocabulary for the topic and some effective less common language, alongside frequent awkward collocations and imprecise word choices.
Improve collocational accuracy by revising phrases such as causes to stress, dependency of technology, and doing exercises.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied sentence structures, but frequent errors in comparison, agreement, articles, and clause formation reduce accuracy.
Focus revision on comparative forms and subject-verb agreement, then shorten overloaded sentences so complex structures remain controlled.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Compared to our parent’s generation, life has become much more stressful. As a result, stress-related illnesses are on the increase around the world. Why is stress such a problem in the modern world and what do you think can be done to overcome the problems caused by stress?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.