Some believe that modern technology is increasing the gap between rich and poor people, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
There is no doubt that modern technology is reshaping our planet and affecting every aspect of human lives. From a social perspective, many people argue that the gap between the upper class and lower classes is widening as a result of technological advancements. Others, however, believe the opposite.
There are several reasons why one could think that the wealth inequality is, indeed, increasing. The most common reason is the automation. Driven by technology, automation reduces the need for manual labour. As a result, less work opportunities are available for unskilled people. With each iteration of the cycle the competition increases and wages decrease. Secondly, technology has increased the minimum level of needs that should be satisfied. Nowadays, everybody should have a mobile phone and an internet connection, including the poor. This increases the monetary burden on them as they must borrow to cover these new needs.
However, I firmly believe that the aforementioned opinion is ludicrous. The most obvious reason is that modern technology has facilitated the road to riches in an unprecedented manner. For instance, many of the internet billionaires are from lower and middle classes. Moreover, the major leaps in agricultural technologies has magnified food production. As a result, food has become more affordable and available. Finally, leveraging technology has dramatically increased workers’ productivity. Consequently, compensations and salaries have increased.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that technology could possibly narrow the difference between social classes. Increased food production, opportunities and productivity are just few examples of technology’s contribution to bridging the wealth gap.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove unnecessary article Original: the wealth inequality Suggested revision: wealth inequality Why it matters: The uncountable abstract noun phrase does not take the definite article here.
- 2. Remove unnecessary article Original: the automation Suggested revision: automation Why it matters: Automation is used as an uncountable general concept here.
- 3. Use countable quantifier Original: less work opportunities Suggested revision: fewer job opportunities Why it matters: Use fewer with the countable plural noun opportunities.
- 4. Add introductory comma Original: cycle the competition Suggested revision: cycle, competition Why it matters: A comma is needed after the introductory prepositional phrase.
- 5. Improve noun collocation Original: level Suggested revision: set Why it matters: Set collocates more naturally with a group of needs than level does.
- 6. Use natural expression Original: facilitated the road to riches Suggested revision: made the path to wealth more accessible Why it matters: The revision expresses increased access to wealth more naturally and precisely.
- 7. Remove unnecessary article Original: many of the internet billionaires Suggested revision: many internet billionaires Why it matters: The definite article is unnecessary because no previously defined group is intended.
- 8. Clarify social background Original: lower and middle classes Suggested revision: lower- and middle-class backgrounds Why it matters: The revision makes clear that the sentence refers to the billionaires' social backgrounds.
- 9. Fix subject agreement Original: has Suggested revision: have Why it matters: The plural subject technologies requires the plural verb have.
- 10. Fix verb collocation Original: magnified Suggested revision: increased Why it matters: Increase is the natural verb for a rise in the quantity of food produced.
- 11. Use uncountable noun Original: compensations and salaries have Suggested revision: workers’ pay has Why it matters: Pay is the natural uncountable noun here and therefore takes the singular verb has.
- 12. Add required article Original: are just few examples Suggested revision: are just a few examples Why it matters: The plural count noun phrase requires a before few in this meaning.
Suggested Rewrites
- the wealth inequality wealth inequality
- the automation automation
- less work opportunities fewer job opportunities
- cycle the competition cycle, competition
- level set
- facilitated the road to riches made the path to wealth more accessible
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response’s strongest feature is its clear position and balanced coverage of both perspectives, supported by a logical sequence of causes and effects. Its main limitation is that several claims are asserted broadly, while awkward collocations and agreement errors reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to develop fewer arguments with more specific evidence while refining word choice and grammatical control.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views and the writer’s opinion are addressed clearly with several relevant reasons, though some support remains generalized.
Develop the strongest points with specific, credible examples and explain their implications more fully.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through clearly focused paragraphs, although some linking phrases are used rather mechanically.
Vary transitions and use referencing more selectively so relationships between ideas feel less formulaic.
Lexical Resource
A reasonably wide vocabulary conveys the argument effectively, but several collocations and word choices are imprecise.
Replace awkward combinations with natural academic phrasing and check countable nouns carefully.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is used successfully, but article, agreement, and plural-form errors recur.
Proofread systematically for subject-verb agreement and missing articles before refining more complex sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some believe that modern technology is increasing the gap between rich and poor people, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.