The first man to walk on the moon claimed it was a step forward for mankind. However, it has made little difference in most people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
There are many who feel that research into space exploration has not made sufficient impact in the average individual’s life to justify its expense. In my opinion, there are valid reasons to ask this question but overall the cultural and scientific effect is all-encompassing.
Those who decry the wasted resources directed towards space programs point out the lack of readily apparent benefits. Sending a man to the moon and maintaining expensive telescopes and space stations do nothing for the average person struggling to pay their bills and vulnerable to sudden economic downturns. Most may casually watch the moon landing or the occasional NASA video on YouTube but that is hardly justification for billions of dollars over decades that could have made a real difference if diverted towards medicine, education, infrastructure, and a vibrant employment sector.
Nonetheless, the effects pertain deeply to culture and science. Firstly, putting a man on the moon was a moment that transcends mundane utilitarian concerns. It not only was an exercise in the power and majesty of the human race but also inspired countless individuals across a wide variety of industries to push for great achievements and have pride in mankind. Secondly, the advances made while researching space have led to concrete, beneficial discoveries. For example, there are now satellites in space making possible phone calls and internet access nearly everywhere on Earth. Countless other large and small innovations from microchips to increased fuel efficiency are also to some degree indebted to the national funding of space exploration.
In conclusion, far from being a waste of valuable resources, space exploration has been the driving force behind the continued progress of humanity. It should therefore continue to receive support.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix article and preposition Original: made sufficient impact in the average individual’s life Suggested revision: had a sufficient impact on the average individual’s life Why it matters: Impact needs an article here and conventionally takes the preposition on.
- 2. Use plural agreement Original: the cultural and scientific effect is all-encompassing Suggested revision: the cultural and scientific effects are far-reaching Why it matters: The plural noun and verb clearly distinguish the two types of effect.
- 3. Use precise wording Original: do nothing for the average person Suggested revision: offer no direct benefit to the average person Why it matters: The revision makes the intended lack of immediate practical benefit more precise.
- 4. Repair complement structure Original: that is hardly justification for billions of dollars over decades Suggested revision: that hardly justifies spending billions of dollars over decades Why it matters: Justify takes an object or gerund complement rather than 'justification for' in this construction.
- 5. Correct verb collocation Original: the effects pertain deeply to culture and science Suggested revision: the effects are deeply felt in culture and science Why it matters: Pertain means relate and does not naturally express the depth of an effect.
- 6. Keep past tense Original: transcends Suggested revision: transcended Why it matters: The relative clause should remain in the past when describing the historical event.
- 7. Place correlative correctly Original: It not only was Suggested revision: It was not only Why it matters: Not only should follow the finite verb in this non-inverted statement.
- 8. Use natural collocation Original: push for great achievements Suggested revision: pursue great achievements Why it matters: Pursue is the more natural verb for sustained efforts toward achievements.
- 9. Clarify modifier Original: satellites in space making possible phone calls and internet access Suggested revision: satellites in space that make phone calls and internet access possible Why it matters: A relative clause states the satellites' continuing function more clearly.
- 10. Correct personification Original: are also to some degree indebted to Suggested revision: also owe their existence in part to Why it matters: Innovations cannot literally be indebted, so this wording states the causal relationship directly.
Suggested Rewrites
- made sufficient impact in the average individual’s life had a sufficient impact on the average individual’s life
- the cultural and scientific effect is all-encompassing the cultural and scientific effects are far-reaching
- do nothing for the average person offer no direct benefit to the average person
- that is hardly justification for billions of dollars over decades that hardly justifies spending billions of dollars over decades
- the effects pertain deeply to culture and science the effects are deeply felt in culture and science
- transcends transcended
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay presents a clear, consistent position and develops both the counterargument and the case for space exploration with relevant, specific support. Its main limitation is occasional overstatement and slightly awkward phrasing, particularly when describing cultural impact and technological benefits, which reduces precision despite otherwise strong control. To improve further, qualify broad claims and make each example's causal link to space research more exact.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay directly addresses the claim, sustains a clear position, and develops both the opposing case and its rebuttal with relevant support.
Qualify sweeping conclusions about space exploration and explain the precise extent to which the strongest examples affect ordinary lives.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are logically sequenced across focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices guide the contrast and development without drawing undue attention.
Refine the transition into the supporting case so that the shift from cultural impact to scientific benefits feels even more seamless.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary supports nuanced argument, with only occasional awkward or overstated expressions.
Choose more measured phrasing for broad claims and replace slightly strained combinations with the most natural academic collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay uses a varied range of complex structures with strong control and only rare minor awkwardness.
Polish the placement of paired constructions and modifiers so that the few syntactically awkward sentences read more naturally.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The first man to walk on the moon claimed it was a step forward for mankind. However, it has made little difference in most people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.