There have been many technological developments in the 20th century, for example in transport, telecommunications and health. What technological development do you think has been the most important? How has it changed people's lives? Have all the changes been positive?
Sample Response
The 20th century has been the century of inventions and innovations. Fields like transport, telecom, medical, education etc. all have seen the phenomenal developments but one of the significant revolutions in the technology is the internet. The internet has changed the landscape of human life to an unimaginable level. The computer has made this planet just like a global village and created millions of employment opportunities.
Firstly, the computer has transformed this planet into one family. Everyone who wants information regarding anything can access through the internet in just a matter of seconds regardless of his place and location. You can view of information, lifestyle, population and other geographical information of any country in the world. For instance, if I want to compare the top universities of the world it would hardly take a minute which would otherwise be not possible without this blessing. It is evident that the internet has shrunken this world like one home in which everyone is a family member.
Secondly, the internet has created job opportunities for millions of people. Work options have been created in the form of web designing, web hosting, online product sales, software development and hundreds more which cannot be listed here. For example, the biggest company in the world which has the most expensive share in New York Stock exchange is none other than Google. This supports the logic that the internet has been one of the significant causes of job creation.
However, there are some drawbacks also of this technology. Cyber crimes and fake business have entered in this world of internet. To illustrate that, many hackers have hacked the important and national security websites of not only third world countries but also leading nations like the United States. These cyber crimes are playing the havoc with the intelligence agencies of the world. Thus, it can be seen that these crimes are depicting the negative pictures of this technology.
To summarise, the internet has truly changed the face of the world making it a very small one and giving the opportunities of millions of people to earn their livelihood. The internet has truly been the greatest development of 20th century. It is recommended that states should make tight laws to curb the illegal activity going on the internet.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct the collocation Original: changed the landscape of human life to an unimaginable level Suggested revision: transformed human life to an unimaginable extent Why it matters: “To an unimaginable extent” naturally expresses the degree of transformation.
- 2. Keep the subject consistent Original: computer Suggested revision: internet Why it matters: The paragraph identifies the internet, rather than the computer, as the selected development.
- 3. Correct the metaphor Original: planet just like a global village Suggested revision: planet into a global village Why it matters: The verb phrase “make something into” correctly expresses transformation.
- 4. Keep the subject consistent Original: computer Suggested revision: internet Why it matters: The body paragraph should continue discussing the internet as the chosen innovation.
- 5. Use a coherent metaphor Original: this planet into one family Suggested revision: the world into a global community Why it matters: A world can be described as a community, whereas a planet cannot literally become a family.
- 6. Use concise wording Original: information regarding anything Suggested revision: information about almost anything Why it matters: The revision is more natural and avoids the implausible absolute claim implied by “anything.”
- 7. Add the object Original: access through the internet Suggested revision: access it through the internet Why it matters: The transitive verb “access” requires an object referring back to the information.
- 8. Use concise agreement Original: regardless of his place and location Suggested revision: regardless of their location Why it matters: The plural-neutral possessive agrees with “everyone” in inclusive modern usage and removes repetition.
- 9. Correct the preposition Original: of Suggested revision: in Why it matters: The natural expression is “universities in the world.”
- 10. Correct adverb position Original: would otherwise be not possible Suggested revision: would not otherwise be possible Why it matters: “Not” normally precedes “otherwise” in this verb phrase.
- 11. Use precise wording Original: Work options Suggested revision: Employment opportunities Why it matters: “Employment opportunities” is the standard term for available kinds of paid work.
- 12. Use the activity noun Original: designing Suggested revision: design Why it matters: The established name of the field is “web design.”
Suggested Rewrites
- changed the landscape of human life to an unimaginable level transformed human life to an unimaginable extent
- computer internet
- planet just like a global village planet into a global village
- computer internet
- this planet into one family the world into a global community
- information regarding anything information about almost anything
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response’s strongest feature is its complete coverage of the task, identifying the internet, explaining access to information and job creation, and acknowledging cybercrime. Its main limitation is that it sometimes treats the computer and internet interchangeably and uses frequent unnatural expressions, which reduces precision. Prioritise distinguishing the chosen technology consistently and developing the negative impact with a clearer example and more accurate language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
All three questions are answered with a clear choice, developed benefits, and a relevant negative consequence, although some examples are broad or imprecise.
Define the internet consistently as the chosen development and explain more specifically how one cybercrime consequence affects ordinary people’s lives.
Coherence and Cohesion
The five-paragraph structure creates clear progression, while numbered signposting and repeated global-village imagery make cohesion somewhat mechanical.
Use descriptive topic sentences for information access, employment, and cybercrime instead of relying on “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and repeated metaphors.
Lexical Resource
There is adequate range for technology, employment, and cybercrime, but recurring inaccurate collocations reduce naturalness and precision.
Use natural phrases such as “access information,” “online fraud,” “cause havoc,” “strict laws,” and “illegal activity on the internet.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied sentence forms, but recurring errors in articles, prepositions, agreement, and clause construction remain evident.
Correct article and preposition patterns in phrases such as “the greatest development of the twentieth century” and “opportunities for millions of people.”
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IELTS Writing Task 2
There have been many technological developments in the 20th century, for example in transport, telecommunications and health. What technological development do you think has been the most important? How has it changed people's lives? Have all the changes been positive?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.