Some people think movies should only be for entertainment. Others think that they should also have educational values. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
It is argued that movies are for the entertainment of the people because these relieve people’s stress; while, others consider that films should have another purpose, and that is to educate people. In my perspective, movies should hilariously serve both purposes as people will not get bored and understand things well.
To commence with, movies are considered only for entertainment purposes because people have a tight schedule, and due to their routine, they get bored, and they want something that can bring a smile on their face and must not make them feel about the burden of their life. So they consider that movies must have only comical elements and should serve only this purpose. For example, masses are experiencing mental strain, and at the end of the day, when they have to listen to the preachings of someone or advice of others, they feel more depressed. So laughter in the movies removes their monotony and makes them feel cool and compose.
On the other hand, some advocates think movies must educate the viewers as they are more or less aware of the problems of their society due to the rigid nature of the work. It is assumed that majority of the folk watch films for their amusement. So if pictures are full of comedies and some educational purposes, then people will not get bored and, indirectly, they are familiar with the obstacles in their surroundings. For instance, people know that taking drugs or alcohol can have a detrimental effect on their health, but internally they are not influenced. Therefore, if the same thing is presented in the movies with a greater degree of emphasis on its outcomes, then people will realize well. So, I think it’s a good way to instruct people.
In conclusion, a few masses argue that movies are for relaxing them, while others think the film should educate them to make them known about the prevalent societal problems. In my perspective, these should serve both purposes, namely amusing the people and instructing them. It is best if they are instructed comically.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix pronoun reference Original: these Suggested revision: they Why it matters: Use 'they' to refer naturally to the plural noun 'movies.'
- 2. Correct contrast punctuation Original: stress; while, others Suggested revision: stress, while others Why it matters: A comma before 'while' links the contrasting clauses without the incorrect semicolon and following comma.
- 3. Use correct expression Original: In Suggested revision: From Why it matters: The standard expression introducing an opinion is 'from my perspective.'
- 4. Choose intended adverb Original: hilariously Suggested revision: effectively Why it matters: 'Hilariously' means in an extremely funny way and does not describe serving two purposes successfully.
- 5. Match plural subject Original: a tight schedule Suggested revision: tight schedules Why it matters: The plural subject 'people' requires a plural description of their individual schedules.
- 6. Use consistent plurals Original: a smile on their face Suggested revision: smiles to their faces Why it matters: Plural forms are needed because the sentence refers to multiple people.
- 7. Use natural expression Original: feel about the burden of their life Suggested revision: dwell on the burdens in their lives Why it matters: 'Dwell on' accurately expresses continuing to think about life's burdens.
- 8. Avoid unnatural noun Original: masses are experiencing Suggested revision: many people experience Why it matters: 'Many people' is the natural formal subject here, and the simple present fits the general claim.
- 9. Use correct noun form Original: preachings Suggested revision: preaching Why it matters: 'Preaching' is normally uncountable when referring generally to moralizing speech.
- 10. Correct preposition Original: of Suggested revision: from Why it matters: Advice is received 'from' another person, so this preposition is required.
- 11. Use adjective forms Original: feel cool and compose Suggested revision: feel calm and composed Why it matters: The linking verb 'feel' requires adjectives, including the participial adjective 'composed.'
- 12. Add article naturally Original: majority of the folk Suggested revision: the majority of people Why it matters: The fixed quantifying phrase is 'the majority of,' and 'people' is more suitable than 'folk' here.
Suggested Rewrites
- these they
- stress; while, others stress, while others
- In From
- hilariously effectively
- a tight schedule tight schedules
- a smile on their face smiles to their faces
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay addresses both views, maintains a clear opinion that films can entertain and educate, and supports each side with a relevant example. Its main limitation is imprecise language and awkward sentence construction, which occasionally makes the reasoning sound unclear or exaggerated; the highest-priority improvement is to express each argument in more natural, controlled sentences and use precise vocabulary for audiences, entertainment, and education.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both perspectives are discussed and the writer's consistent preference for combining entertainment with education is supported by relevant explanations and examples.
Develop the educational argument more precisely by explaining how a film's message changes viewers' knowledge or behaviour rather than relying on broad claims.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure and overall progression are clear, though repetitive linking and several overextended sentences make some connections mechanical.
Vary transitions and divide long chains of ideas into shorter sentences with one clearly defined logical relationship each.
Lexical Resource
The response has an adequate range for the topic, but frequent awkward choices such as masses, hilariously, and feel cool and compose limit precision and naturalness.
Use neutral, idiomatic alternatives such as viewers, entertainingly, and relaxed, and check that less common words match the intended meaning.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures is used, but recurring errors with articles, agreement, punctuation, and clause control remain noticeable while meaning stays generally clear.
Review complex sentences for unnecessary conjunctions and ensure subjects, verbs, articles, and parallel structures agree throughout.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think movies should only be for entertainment. Others think that they should also have educational values. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.